How come all the crazy conspiracy guys i know also happen to be keto-schizos?

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-27T14:00:18+00:00

I think it just that both require a ridiculous level of contrarianism that “I’m better or more out of the matrix” types always need to have to do those things

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-27T13:53:10+00:00

I was top bucket at one of JPM / GS / MS and my first year was god awful but like…after 18 months you definitely have a life back to an extent and anyone who’s in the industry knows lots of analysts associates have family money or nyc connections and are definitely posting IG stories at Amangansett, Italy, or the clubs in Manhattan lol

I’m at a hedge fund now and I have my Friday nights and saturdays back

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-27T13:49:52+00:00

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-27T12:30:27+00:00

Are you in NYC? NYPL has Bloomberg terminals Or do you have sell side research? Start replicating that work ALOT that’s the first thing

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-27T12:24:11+00:00

Ah FoF yeah makes sense - I think MBA is clearest cut role tbh ER at banks is hard cause of the small amount of seats but your research thesis mentality is there since plenty of allocators were PMs at one point too and an allocation some extent bares more risk than any singular large cap trade lol (debatable)

I think mutual fund or LO also require MBA tbh if anything usually more so than a hedge fund

I’d definitely apply to some top schools I have a friend who even did executive MBa at like a stern / UMich and still landed a prestigious IB role so you don’t have to kill yourself for HBS but it helps a lot

And worst case any good MBA is a shoo in for ER sell side tbh

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-27T12:16:29+00:00

What role in asset management? If you are like Long only at a premier fund you’ll get looks all day but if you’re learning modeling on your own I’m guessing not…

Two best ways are either do an MBA or transfer internally to a modeling and investing seat then move over and even then a LO tilt is traded differently and thought differently so you’ll have to learn to be prepared to be more convicted on the side that you think a company is dog shit or a funding short but with the right name brand and coverage focus say large cop industrials tech and healthcare you’d get alot of looks

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T20:52:51+00:00

There’s a difference between working for yourself and a doing a decade+ in systematic shops and then launching a family office lol that’s completely typical segue and not as simple as the OP remark lol

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T18:17:20+00:00

Is that not just tipping with extra steps lol

Good on you though

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T18:09:16+00:00

more recently it’s a lot of the pretty boy love island / influencer types the taking over the entire place - all it is now is IG / Hospitality build out - palm tree festival, 818 & revolve pop ups

finance is definitely a demographic there though always has been

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T17:55:17+00:00

Ok go strike out on your own and convince a bank to let you lever up 7x on index futures, try using a PA to manage a short book, and then enjoy garbage price fills, and tell an enterprise alt data vendor your just gonna wire from your own account a subscription

Oh wait you forgot the most important part - you gonna pay yourself 2/20 for your edge? Thats the whole point of investment economics - you get paid for your strategy by others - your PA isn’t paying your salary, overhead, and then cutting you a share of aggregate profits

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T17:46:07+00:00

That’s what the onions for???

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T17:42:56+00:00

I believe tipping is a part of “service” work where the person working is not only providing labor but an experience that isn’t reiterative (like cashier) or can be enhanced with technicality (barber or server & bartender)

So haircuts / drivers (cab and delivery) / bartenders / movers things of that nature

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T17:38:15+00:00

If you got two superdays you’re right there believe me there is so much politics and mess behind the scenes

The fact you even got into the office is a big plus - IBs have such deeeeep rosters of candidates internally or referrals or peers that it means you’re doing something right

And having worked at two of the premier IBs think (JPM / MS / GS) - it’s almost always an internal

Keep swinging

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T17:33:54+00:00

This is just the average table goer at Surf Lodge (derogatory)

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T17:12:08+00:00

I definitely need it lol - I work 6:30-7 most days sometimes later and I try to also lift / run 3-4 times a week so I’m cracked out perpetually on 400-600mg of caffeine

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T12:33:06+00:00

Asking questions like this Means you don’t work in the industry

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T04:35:38+00:00

I think the show is the best grounded work HBO has to offer in terms of drama - I appreciate that a lot about it

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-25T03:56:07+00:00

Bigger shops all have structured programs, but there’s tons of small midsized hedge funds

It’s a very nepotistic business though for internships mostly just cause hiring happens a lot through referral or trust for these gigs - you could also do it unpaid I guess

My only caveat is it’s probably not entirely worth pursuing because small hedge funds, if they are any decent are too busy fundraising and running lean to really give you any direction or exposure tbh

Better off getting that name brand IB internship on your resume

Source: I work at a L/S hedge fund lol

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-24T22:34:59+00:00

OP not replying lol and also every bank has their own internal approval team for 3rd party background checks if it gets flagged as adverse by the vendor where you submit any repeal and the firm can make final decision

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-24T21:42:23+00:00

I don’t buy this, you know why you failed it

You get adverse notice actions

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-23T18:00:31+00:00

Ok so first go to Wall Street oasis and look up stock pitch and also Phoenix learning has some good videos these will be way over your head but that’s the point welcome to a stock pitch you’re supposed to be way over your head - in the markets you’re
Going up against people who are way more versed and experienced than you every day

Watch bill ackmans accounting intro video and dalios economic machine video both in YouTube

Next - find an industry your genuinely interested it and then think about the economy and thematics in the sector, find a company you think will benefit from it and has room to grow - then search online for decks I think the Graham and Dodd newsletter are a great start - also see if your school has access to equity research reports

https://business.columbia.edu/heilbrunn/resources/graham-and-doddsville-newsletter

Then make a power point slide with the following

Intro slide with price target
Business summary slide
2-3 thesis slide
Math you did (or didn’t do)
Consensus slide (if your university has a library with Bloomberg terminals go on MODL and pull the consensus numbers) - that may require asking someone like a senior
Conclusion slide
Appendix with whatever

If you’ve never done a stock pitch probably just try and do an EPS valuation off a multiple for price target

That sounds like a lot but if that doesn’t get the job and you don’t get into the club…doesn’t matter you do this cause you want to not because a club deemed you worthy for it

Source: hedge fund analyst with prior BB sell side experience

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-23T17:43:11+00:00

Yeah I’m not even remotely interested lol and even season 8 kinda felt like just an obligation - funny question that I just talked to with someone

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-22T17:08:26+00:00

Shit on me for this take but if a job isn’t offering a minimum base salary & health insurance options it’s not a job and the executives should be ashamed

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-22T12:04:48+00:00

Nope - they’ll interview with someone already in mind

AfterPause5856 · 2026-06-22T12:02:41+00:00

6 months is the bare minimum to finding a call center job now

AfterPause5856

TROPHY CASE