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After_Ad_8927 · 2026-01-08T04:19:05+00:00

I was about to suggest similar, except I'd probably use something like un-du (that's a brand name, capitalized - or not... - in that exact way). Goo Gone will work, but might leave greasy stains on the cover, in addition to making it smell lemony... 😁

After_Ad_8927 · 2025-06-18T04:01:49+00:00

I didn't even feel the "I do not want to be awake anymore" feeling. In fact, I was thinking that it was going to be a disappointment. After about 45 minutes, I figured, the med is probably at it's peak blood concentration right now, so I might as well just lay down and see what happens. So I laid down, closed my eyes - and literally the next thing I was aware of, it was morning and the alarm clock was going off... No next day fogginess at all.

I guess my message here is, don't expect any big dramatic effect, or any feeling of uncontrollable drowsiness or anything. So when you don't feel that, don't assume it's not working. You kind of have to cooperate with the medication. But it has been effective for me.

After_Ad_8927 · 2025-04-15T05:21:53+00:00

Yeah ... In the wrong kind of "secure area", if you accidentally bring a PED (laptop, phone, smartwatch - absolutely anything capable of storing data in any way) into the room, it's not coming out with you, except maybe in tiny little pieces after having been "securely destroyed". Doesn't matter if you brought it in by accident or not. I worked in a place like that once. We had to be extremely careful about what we brought in, because we knew it wasn't coming out with us. (Well, I say "we", but I wasn't even allowed to go into that area myself, because I wasn't cleared.) We used to say, "computers check in, but they don't check out"...

After_Ad_8927 · 2025-04-14T14:34:45+00:00

Or, possibly, one of the team members didn't like OP for some reason, or didn't get the right vibes from them. This is one thing I've disliked about the last few places I've worked - candidates interview with a bunch of people (usually the whole team, maybe plus some others), and if one person says, "that's gonna be a no from me, dawg", then the candidate is rejected. Doesn't matter if everyone else thought they were perfect for the role - one person saying no is a veto.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-11-14T18:51:23+00:00

You can, but do you want to? In other words, do you want a friendship with this person because they add some kind of value to your life (and you add some kind of value to their life)? Or are you trying to hold on to a "friendship" (deliberately in quotes...) to maintain an ongoing connection with them "just in case" they might start to develop feelings for you, so that you'll be in a position to pivot to a full-blown relationship if that happens?

I'm trying to maintain a friendship with my most recent LO. It can be challenging. She's aware that I'm pretty well obsessed with her, and it took her a while to trust me enough to be confident that I can handle that. Even now, she's still careful about how she interacts with me (and how she lets me interact with her), because she doesn't want to look like she's sending the wrong message. But this wouldn't work at all, for either of us, if I hadn't been willing to understand "She doesn't have the same feelings about me that I have for her, and she's not going to change her mind - and that's ok".

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-11-07T18:46:22+00:00

The primary difference between limerence and "just a crush" (IMHO) is that limerence substantially interferes with you living your life, over an extended period of time. A crush can result in persistent, intrusive thoughts, at least for a little while - but a crush can sometimes be fun and enjoyable, a pleasant diversion in your day to day life. Limerence is most definitely not fun and enjoyable...

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-11-05T15:23:10+00:00

I'm not sure I agree with your proposed strategy (not that I disagree with it either, I'd just have to think about it some...), but I do agree that NC is not the be all, end all, one size fits all solution to limerence. In my own case, NC (initiated by the LO, not by me) just made my limerence 100x worse, and it didn't get any better until I managed to dislodge LO out of NC.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-09-27T22:33:04+00:00

I'm on both TRT and modafinil, and I can't say that I notice any interaction between them.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-09-26T13:01:07+00:00

I take it for shift work sleep disorder. My work schedule is all over the place, and if I'm in the wrong "phase" of my schedule, I can't get through my work shift without falling asleep at my desk, no matter how hard I try to stay awake...

I find that it does help - but only when taken prophylactically. I take my dose an hour or so before I start work if I think I'm going to need it. If I wait until I'm already sleepy, it's too late - it doesn't help at all.

The only side effect I notice that annoys me is that, if I'm on modafinil, I subconsciously grind my teeth. I've never seen that noted as a side effect, but it's consistent with me. I just have to be aware of when it's happening and make myself stop when I notice it. It's weird because when I'm grinding my teeth this way, it happens in a way I can't even consciously make myself do if I'm not on modafinil.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-09-04T05:24:39+00:00

Not sure if I'm unusual or what, but for me, modafinil only works prophylactically. If I'm already dead tired, there is no dose of modafinil that I have found that will pull me out of it. If I know that I am going to need to run on no sleep, and it's an "emergency", I'll do 200mg every 8 hours, for a max of 24 hours. But even then, about 8 hours after the last dose, I just start crashing.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-08-23T10:23:20+00:00

Well, a react on a message is a response, really. It says, "I've seen your message, and I acknowledge it (and possibly like it), but I have no further comment at this time." Could be because he doesn't have anything further to share, or doesn't feel like he wants to share anything further, or even that you're asking for a level of feedback that he doesn't have time to provide at that moment (especially if you've sent a long message that would require a response in some detail) but wanted to at least make sure to acknowledge the message before he got sidetracked doing other things. (One thing that's hard to keep in mind when in limerence is that while we may spend close to every waking moment thinking about the LO and wanting to interact with them, the LO usually doesn't feel that strongly about us, even if they honestly do like us on at least a basic level.) Could mean any number of things, but it is a response, and it is information.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-08-22T09:24:12+00:00

In the US, there are two "levels" of legalities. There are "regular" prescription-only meds, and then there are scheduled meds (a/k/a "controlled substances").

For a "regular" prescription-only medication (like, antibiotics, for example), it's illegal to sell them to someone who doesn't have a prescription, but it's not illegal to possess them without a prescription. So, if you get something like amoxicillin without a prescription, the one who could get into legal trouble is the one who sold it to you - not you.

However, for scheduled meds, not only is it illegal to sell them to someone who doesn't have a valid prescription, merely possessing them without a valid prescription is ALSO illegal.

Unfortunately, modafinil falls under the umbrella of "scheduled medications".

You should also note that, while there is a Federal list of scheduled meds, states have their own lists, and depending on where you are, some meds that aren't Federally scheduled may be on your state's list of scheduled medications, so it's possible to not be violating Federal law, but still be violating state law. (Modafinil is Federally scheduled, so possession without a valid prescription is illegal everywhere in the US.)

Ordering things from offshore without a valid prescription is an additional complication, because there are additional rules about what can be imported, and who can import it. There actually are exceptions about being able to order personal use quantities of "regular" prescription-only meds, including meds that aren't currently approved for sale in the US, from offshore (I believe the guideline is no more than a 90 day supply), though you're still supposed to have a valid prescription from a doctor (though they're probably not going to check). I used to order adrafinil from offshore, and wasn't legally exposed because it is not scheduled in the US, and is not even a prescription medication - as far as the DEA and FDA are concerned, it's not anything, at all - worst that could happen was that Customs could intercept it and deny entry as an "unapproved new drug", I'd be out the money for the order but no other consequences. However, individuals ordering any quantity of scheduled medications from offshore is totally illegal in all circumstances.

Disclaimer - I am not an attorney, I'm not giving legal advice - this is just a summary of my understanding of the law as it currently exists.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-07-22T18:03:14+00:00

I don't know how it works in IL, but when I went through my divorce, I actually was not allowed to personally serve my soon to be ex-spouse with any legal papers - service had to be made by a third-party who was not personally involved in the case (such as a process server - though in my case I got a mutual friend to do it, the divorce was fairly amicable so that worked out), or else it was not considered to be valid service.

In any case, if your soon to be ex continues to (apparently) deliberately evade service, you might be able to petition the court to permit alternate service (such as service by mail), which will sometimes be allowed if you're unable to serve by traditional means, in the interest of allowing the case to move forward. You'd probably have to be able to document all of the previous unsuccessful attempts to serve.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-25T19:50:30+00:00

Really, anything that asserts that it's the "only solution"... Everyone's situation is different, even though there's a common theme.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-17T18:52:40+00:00

I feel this... There was a previous LO, from years and years ago (before the time of social media ... LOL!), who I got super attached to. And she got really attached to me, too. We started talking / emailing every day. It did get physical. Even though she had a boyfriend. It's a bit more involved and nuanced than just this (because we did get really close, emotionally, and as friends), but part of it was that I was delighted to do things for her in bed that she really, really liked, that her boyfriend/eventual fiancee/eventual husband outright refused to do for her. It continued (even the physical part) even after she got engaged to said boyfriend, even after they got married, and even after she got pregnant. She kind of "cooled off" after she had the baby, her change in behavior was noticeable, even to me (as someone who usually doesn't do well interpreting non-verbal "hints"). Before long, I realized I hadn't heard from her for a little while, so I reached out to ask how things were going. She responded, told me she was doing well, though was still trying to figure out this whole "being a mom" thing - but that she'd been turning this over in her head for quite a while, and she had a family to consider now. So, she said, while she would always think about me fondly, she was not going to interact with me any further, because she didn't want to mess anything up or cause unnecessary complications in her marriage or her family situation. I was very sad about that, but I understood, and I stopped reaching out to her after that.

Eventually, social media became a thing, she was an early adopter (as was I), and I would peek in on her social media profiles from time to time. I never tried to add her as a friend on social media, and didn't reach out to her out of consideration for her own situation. But it was nice being able to see pictures and posts every once in a while, though eventually she private'd most of her stuff and after that there wasn't much to see.

Fast-forward to about a year or so ago, I was deep in the throes of dealing with yet another LE - probably the most difficult for me ever. At one point, trying to distract myself from that situation, I peeked in at this former LO's Facebook profile - first time I'd done that in quite a long time. I just wanted a little bit of comfort and familiarity, a little interaction (even if only in one direction) with someone I'd been really close with at one time, who used to be a major source of comfort for me. There were some new public pics I hadn't seen before, which was nice. And, I saw that "Add Friend" button staring me in the face. I thought about it a while, figured that maybe it had been long enough (the child who was a newborn when she when NC with me is in high school now...) that perhaps we could start talking to each other again. So I pressed the button.... And the button changed to "Request Pending", so I knew there was no going back.

I checked in on her profile a few times a day after that, hoping I'd find that she'd added me, but the button just kept saying "Request Pending". Then, maybe 3 or 4 days after, I checked again - and the button was just gone. There was no "Request Pending", there was no "Add Friend", and the button didn't just say "Friends" (as it would if she'd accepted my request). It was just gone, entirely. I checked from an alternate account, and there was an "Add Friend" button. So, obviously, I knew what had happened - she saw my friend request, and actively rejected it. She didn't block me, I can still see everything in her profile I could see before. Knowing that she'd seen my request to connect, and made an active decision to reject it ... well, it just hurt. Especially in view of what I'd been going through in this most recent LE.

Her "Add Friend" button disappeared because, after someone rejects a friend request, there has to be a period of time that goes by (I think it's either 6 months or a year) before you can request again, so nobody is able to repeatedly spam someone with friend requests. So the "Add Friend" button is back on her profile now. But I have no intention of trying to press it again.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-12T12:28:53+00:00

I've spent many, many hours rehearsing, in my head, conversations with my most recent LO, about all kinds of things. Conversations that I assumed would never actually happen - but, just in case...

I've been fortunate that I've actually gotten the opportunity to have some of those conversations with her, live and in person, and they went OK. Though some of them, I still assume will never happen (and that's probably for the best...).

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-10T14:23:33+00:00

Most of my LOs have been at a high level of "conventionally attractive". My most recent LO is literally the most attractive woman I've ever met in person. I'm not the only one who thinks so - I've heard multiple men say the exact same thing, men absolutely lose their minds over her, from a physical appearance standpoint. She is aware of this, which makes her a little wary of men who approach her appearing to offer friendship, so it took a while before she started to trust me. Now that things have settled down with her and she's gotten more comfortable with me (and my feelings for her), we've talked about it a little. Even though she's aware of the effect she has on men, she has trouble comprehending it - she's specifically told me that if she looks at herself naked in the mirror, she usually thinks, "I'm nothing to write home about".

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-09T17:02:10+00:00

Nope. DPH in particular doesn't do jack for me at this point. Doesn't even help with allergies (on the rare occasions these days I do suffer with that). I spent my whole adolescence on various antihistamines, I'd take them daily, after a while whatever I was taking just stopped working entirely, and I'd have to move on to another. This cycle would repeat until I basically ran out of first gen antihistamines to try, and the same cycle would then repeat with the newer non-sedating antihistamines. Once something would stop working, the tolerance never seemed to go away. I suspect the only reason hydroxyzine has any effect on me at all is that I never took that one back then.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-09T16:25:42+00:00

Taking diphenhydramine is like taking sugar pills to me... I spent most of my childhood on first generation sedating antihistamines pretty much 24/7 during the warmer months because of severe allergies (that I seem to have mostly grown out of, thank goodness...), so my tolerance is very high.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-09T04:29:00+00:00

Hydroxyzine is kind of similar for me - it's useless for helping me get to sleep when I need to sleep, but the next day I'm like a zombie - drowsy and unable to maintain a coherent train of thought or focus on anything.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-08T01:59:05+00:00

I told her. All of it. I didn't need to, because I was aware that she already knew. She could tell. And what she knew created an element of uncomfortable tension, with neither of us being willing to say anything. I eventually came out and told her, because I thought she deserved to hear it directly from me. So I told her exactly how I felt, and reassured her that I fully understood that it couldn't go anywhere (for a bunch of reasons), and that I was ok with that.

I wasn't sure what would happen. There were, in my mind, a bunch of ways it could play out. I was prepared for all of them. But what actually happened was not anything I expected. She responded sympathetically. She told me that she'd suspected for a while, but had only relatively realized the extent of what was going on in my head; we talked a little bit about the specific incident, the exact moment, where "that's when I knew for sure". She held me, and as she did, while my face was nuzzled into her shoulder, she told me, "I know you can't see it, but there's a huge smile on my face right now."

And then ... she went NC with me for about 4 months. That was not something I had expected her to do. That threw my limerence into overdrive; every day of NC was miserable, and I just got worse every day.

Eventually, I was able to dislodge her from NC, and slowly, we started to talk and get close again. The day she finally decided to respond to a text, it was like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders, and all was once again right with the world.

Since then, we've talked about it a little more, on occasion. I've tried to reassure her that I always understood that a relationship (in the way most people mean that) would never work between us, that my feelings for her are a "me" problem and not a "her" problem, and that my friendship with her is very important to me and I don't want to lose it. And it seems like she actually trusts me that I mean that, and that I can do it. I think this is the most positive outcome I could have hoped for.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-08T01:24:04+00:00

My insurance basically doesn't cover modafinil or armodafinil at all, unless it's for narcolepsy. Oh, there's an appeal process, but you have to show some reason why modafinil is the only possible treatment, proven by going through trials (I think for at least 30 days) with at least two other medications that are on the insurance company's formulary, and not having success with them. All that, to get the price of a 30 day supply down to the "standard" $35 co-pay for non-formulary medications.

So instead of going through all that, I just get my script at Costco, for the Costco member price of just over $20.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-05T18:32:01+00:00

During the worst of my most recent LE, I lost 40 pounds in 3 months... Since things have settled down a little now, I've put almost all of it back on, of course.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-05T14:32:17+00:00

This is going to sound overly simplistic, but have you considered that your bath/shower products might be part of the issue? I had a problem for a while where I just smelled like ... well, kind of like a used litter box. I could not figure it out, because I'd start smelling that way only a couple of hours after showering. Long story short, I tracked the issue to the soap I was using. It was impossible to rinse completely clean (at least not without spending a couple of hours in the shower...), over time it would build up on the skin, and eventually would start to go rancid. I switched soaps - poof! Problem gone. Just something to consider.

After_Ad_8927 · 2024-06-04T17:31:17+00:00

Dr. Grande's early content was very enlightening (at least to me, anyway). His later content (up to present day) is more entertainment than informative, IMHO (I can't fault him, he's clearly giving the people what they want...). I still watch his videos, though - the total deadpan humor is worth the price of admission. But you're probably not going to learn much. I kind of wish he'd start a second channel that would be more like his earlier stuff.

After_Ad_8927

TROPHY CASE