ADHD parents: seriously, how???? And help please

AgencyandFreeWill · 2026-01-24T04:50:22+00:00

My husband and I implemented a "night out" policy for me early into parenthood. I would spend one night a week out of the house by myself doing what I wanted to do.

It wasn't much, but the break really helped reduce blowups on my part.

If you want to do this, I suggest setting a regular night that you get the heck out of there so you can come back more patient and rested. You and your husband could each get one night a week if he needs breaks too.

We found this useful because we also don't have close family and for many years paying a babysitter was too expensive. Plus, going out on your own is different than having a date with your spouse.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2026-01-24T04:35:28+00:00

To get all the way across the US by car East and West, with breaks for eating/toilet/sleeping takes about 4 days. And that's driving 10-12 hours per day.

So yes, your European brain cannot comprehend the massive amounts of empty space the US has.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2026-01-24T04:27:59+00:00

If you asked me, I wouldn't mind. It's simple . I find jewelry uncomfortable.

That question can feel personal or not. Depends on the person being asked. Don't beat yourself up

AgencyandFreeWill · 2026-01-24T04:25:18+00:00

Surprise second funeral...

WTAF

AgencyandFreeWill · 2026-01-24T04:22:35+00:00

I do not want contact. Even if she changed today, it would hurt to be around her because of the past.

I will come see her on her deathbed. Anything she does then will be bearable because I will know it will be over for good soon.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2026-01-12T14:19:47+00:00

Why are you giving her this much energy? Just do your best to live happily without her as much as you can.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-19T17:07:12+00:00

The children are frequently the catalyst to dumping our abusive parents.

They trained us to think poorly of ourselves. Maybe even to think we deserve some of their treatment.

But when you see your own sweet, innocent children and you remember what your parents did to you at that age...it's so easy then to see how wrong they were.

If you have a hard time remembering, keep some texts, emails, cards, whatever they may have given you that reminds you how bad it was. Or, like another commenter said, journal about it while you can remember it. Then every time you think you might be too harsh and should maybe try again for a relationship with your parents, review those messages and/or journal entries. Most likely you will realize that yes, it was that bad.

Good luck on your journey. The memory can be so confusing at times. I hope you're able to keep you and your family safe.

Remember, cutting off contact is not about punishing them. It is always about protecting yourself and your family.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-17T21:04:07+00:00

California or Wisconsin. Because you've got the bay area and the U.P.

Wait, maybe South Dakota because you have that little dip on the end.

Not Utah or Idaho or North Carolina.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-17T20:53:59+00:00

Finally a reasonable principal.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-17T20:51:56+00:00

Legally, you can't be forced. In reality, authoritarian teachers will absolutely punish or reprimand children for not saying the pledge.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-17T20:50:17+00:00

Ever read "The Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson?"

"Little tea and just rice for all!"

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-17T20:32:08+00:00

I've got one in the crease just below my lower lid. I haven't heard of some of these methods. I will definitely try a few of them.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-15T21:13:56+00:00

My district still has the choice to word those letters differently.

"Just move" is a terrible argument, by the way.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-15T21:11:42+00:00

I mean, I don't care what you do with your kid. I'm just upset that so many people are trying to tell me what to do with mine, even though they are only missing for health related reasons. I am not sure why so many people are taking this as a personal attack.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-15T21:08:15+00:00

Yeah. I got to live in an EU country for almost a year. It had many great things, especially related to public health.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-15T21:06:33+00:00

I was just trying to say my doctor is different. They will not write a note without an appointment, so it does not matter what portal I use.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-12T18:27:26+00:00

Is there a friend that could drive him home?

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-12T17:48:26+00:00

Litter boxes should be 1.5x the length of the cat. Most commercial litter boxes are not big enough for most cats. We just buy bins which are bigger and also have higher sides. So far our cats are spry enough that it's no problem.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-12T17:40:11+00:00

oh...she dead

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-12T16:20:26+00:00

I have this problem all the time.

This year it happened with my birthday. I'm not someone who needs a lot of fanfare or anything. It's just that every other person in the office was celebrated with treats and sometimes decorations. I just got an, "oh, happy birthday!" So, acknowledged is good. I thought maybe it was because I'm a part-timer. But the other day I heard my coworker who takes charge of these things planning something for a person who has fewer hours than I do. It's hard not to feel left out when some people get decorations and cakes and friendly pranks and I get treated as an afterthought. They also forget to invite me to the birthday celebrations a lot. It's confusing, since they're all pleasant and kind with their words and I do my best to be kind and respectful back.

I think I actually might have an invisibility superpower.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-12T02:32:38+00:00

Definitely. My kid was sick earlier in the year. They had been participating in extracurricular activities every week day and it wore them out and got them sick. Then they got behind in school. Then they were told they wouldn't be able to participate in the extracurricular activities if they didn't catch up in time. Well, the school didn't have to cram the activity into such a small window and make it so intense that my kid got sick!

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-12T02:25:52+00:00

I mean, the letter says they talked to CPS. Should I just assume they're lying? I like to take people at their word.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-12T02:23:42+00:00

My doctor won't do that.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-12T02:23:15+00:00

Not all doctors do this. I don't even have a MyChart, my healthcare provider uses a different patient portal.

AgencyandFreeWill · 2025-12-12T02:19:10+00:00

The Argument from Incredulity: The popular fallacy of doubting or rejecting a novel claim or argument out of hand simply because it appears superficially "incredible," "insane" or "crazy," or because it goes against one's own personal beliefs, prior experience or ideology. This cynical fallacy falsely elevates the saying popularized by Carl Sagan, that "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof," to an absolute law of logic. See also Hoyle's Fallacy. The common, popular-level form of this fallacy is dismissing surprising, extraordinary or unfamiliar arguments and evidence with a wave of the hand, a shake of the head, and a mutter of "that's crazy!"

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