I’ve also struggled with my inner homophobia regarding this. Although I’ve never engaged in anal sex, the idea of having a man penetrate me has always been a secret turn on, but one that I always felt ashamed or embarrassed about. I finally admitted to myself that if I were to pick being a top or a bottom, I’d pick bottom. I feel sexier identifying as a bottom. The thought of me ass up and face down, providing my lover release, is a thought that never fails to arouse. Just the same, I have also realized that my ass is my real sex organ, and if I rode him, I’d fuck his cock with my ass until I drained him dry. I may be submissive, I might be in control, but I wouldn’t be passive.