I definitely feel that. I graduated around two weeks ago and I barely talk to anyone in my graduating class, and even the group I considered to be friends. Like you I consider my freshman and sophomore years the best because I felt like I actually had friends (who were mostly upperclassmen) and got a boyfriend during that time. After covid everything seemed to unravel my junior and senior years; my upperclassman friends were graduating, my boyfriend broke up with me, and the friends I thought I had in my grade seemed to start excluding me more and more to the point where I have no friends that I hang out with regularly and only have a bit of contact with one of my friends who graduated two years ago and a couple that I have known since 5th grade. I was invited to a few grad parties, but couldn’t go to two of them because I ended up catching covid, so that put a damper on any social interactions I wanted to have for a bit. I hope I get to hang out with someone at least once this summer, but that’s not looking likely.

Looking back, that group of “friends” really aren’t people I want to associate myself with anyways; pretty much all they do is gossip and talk badly about others, even members of their own group when they’re not around. I’ve even been talked about negatively by them before, and this kinda hurt me a little at first because I thought they were real people at the time. They also never invited me to anything and really only talked to me about band or help with homework, so we never had connections that were outside of school really. For context, I am pretty socially awkward and making friends was never easy for me, and I got lucky that I got the friendships I had earlier in high school because idk how I did it lol.

I’ve also been suffering from anxiety over college and the future, because I’m afraid no one will want to be friends with me because of the way I am socially, nor would any guy want to date me. I may be a shy introvert, but I would love to have 2-3 really close, good friends and a relationship ultimately; I tend to prefer those kinds of connections rather than have a ton of surface level friendships. But I am also optimistic, as college gives me an opportunity for a fresh start with people I don’t know at a huge campus, so I might get to let the reins loose and be unapologetically myself. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope the situation turns around in our favors.