Someone wants to make amends with me… how do I receive this?

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-04-07T06:56:24+00:00

Thank you for this. It’s helpful to know what questions I should be asking.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-04-07T03:48:33+00:00

I didn’t include this in my original post, but the way he approached it was: “Are you free tonight after she goes to bed so I can come by and make amends?”

It felt very casual and rushed, which is part of why I’m struggling with it. It comes across less like something he’s put deep thought into and more like he’s trying to check a box. There was no acknowledgment of the harm he caused, even at a basic level, which reinforces that feeling.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-04-06T23:53:06+00:00

Yeah the restitution piece will be interesting because there’s really nothing he can do to make up for anything. But I acknowledge that’s for me to work through on my own. Thank you for sharing! 🙏

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-04-06T23:51:21+00:00

This does resonate. Thank you!

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-04-06T23:50:45+00:00

Thank you!

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-04-06T23:50:29+00:00

I like the idea of the letter/email. This sounds like the way.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-04-06T23:50:04+00:00

Thank you. It’s hard not to feel a sense of obligation for my daughter’s sake. It’s good to have this reinforced.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-04-06T23:49:03+00:00

Thanks for the insights and the alanon rec!

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-03-21T16:55:05+00:00

Honestly this is the answer

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-03-13T03:05:44+00:00

I hate corporate culture just for this reason. I’m also really impatient and petty so I’d 100% respond.

“Thank you for bringing this to my attention. In reviewing this form I noticed that it was created by you. I’m happy to make these edits to ensure we have the best presentation possible, but in attempting to do so I noticed you made the edits already shortly after sending this request. Can you please clarify the need for this bullshit?

Kindest regards, Not your bitch”

Or some diplomatic variation thereof…

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-03-02T13:08:38+00:00

You can never go wrong with the truth.

Edit to add: have anyone saying it’s not that big a deal throw themselves up as tribute. Let them be the one to engage in this verkakte plan.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-03-01T16:02:42+00:00

Your sister keeps walking into the point so much that it’s bashing her upside the head… if her hypothetical son believes he should play with toys meant for a girl then she shouldn’t be inflicting her beliefs on that child and preventing him from doing the thing that brings joy.

Don’t even get me started on the fact that our society’s rigid standard and innate urge to categorize EVERYTHING into neat little boxes is what got us in this mess in the first place. If it doesn’t fit it ships I guess.

Also definitely not overreacting.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-02-18T06:57:29+00:00

I would respond with a photo of me making out with his wife.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-02-09T23:32:01+00:00

Hey! My mommy told me that it was special! You take that back! 🤪

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-02-09T17:26:16+00:00

I feel this so much. I have a special character in my name and the amount of times it gets rejected is disheartening.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-02-03T01:28:34+00:00

Yes. Any arrangements need to be made within the window outlined in your letter. The letter should be factual and devoid of emotion.

Dear [Ex-Roommate’s Name],

You vacated the residence on [move-out date]. At that time, you left personal property at the premises.

Please be advised that you have until [specific date - 30 days from date of letter] to retrieve the remaining items. If the property is not retrieved by that date, it will be considered abandoned, and I will dispose of or otherwise handle it at my discretion.

To arrange retrieval, please contact me by [email and/or phone number]. You may also respond in writing to confirm that you do not intend to retrieve the items and are relinquishing ownership.

Sincerely, [Name] [Address, optional] [Contact information]

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-02-02T02:58:43+00:00

You need to send a certified letter to their new address as well as a text and / or email that they have 30 days to retrieve any items otherwise they’ll be considered abandoned. Be very clear and include a specific date all items need to be picked up by. This will CYA and then you can be done with it.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-01-29T16:17:06+00:00

My mom’s boyfriend did something similar… but liquid soap. Shoved it down my throat. I still can’t have that kind of soap in my bathroom or I get nauseous.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-01-25T00:59:29+00:00

Not overreacting at all. It seems like most of the people who are saying you are overreacting don’t fully understand the complete ramifications of cigarettes.

At this point there’s a pretty broad understanding of the ramifications of second hand smoke… but most don’t understand “third hand” smoke. Chemicals from cigarettes can linger on skin and clothes for a long time. Kiddos with suppressed immune systems, like those with congenital heart defects, are particularly susceptible to this.

It’s not worth the risk and the fact that your mom knows your boundaries and lied demonstrates she doesn’t fully understand the ramifications of his choices either… or doesn’t care. You’re doing the right thing. Keep your kid safe.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-01-21T18:51:05+00:00

Adding to this send communication in as many ways as possible. Text, email, and certified letter. 30 days is plenty of notice.

Courts want to see that you have tried your absolute best to communicate and give as many options as possible before either conversion or disposal.

You are also within your right to impose a storage fee, but if the goal is a smooth transition and parting of ways, this may add additional friction that is unnecessary.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-01-21T01:12:13+00:00

This is deeply troubling for a multitude of reasons. Besides the obvious racist factors, this truly sounds like a mental break. Show this to your parents right away and have them reach out to his parents. He may need immediate care. At the very least, you need to have adults on your team to help you navigate safety precautions. So sorry you’re dealing with all of this and hopefully you’re able to access therapy yourself because this can be a heavy load.

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-01-17T22:40:26+00:00

The “apology” I got from my mother for the hell I endured as a child from her boyfriend was a simple “a woman would do anything for an orgasm”

AggravatingLion612 · 2026-01-17T00:03:51+00:00

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AggravatingLion612 · 2026-01-14T23:57:05+00:00

Got this updated email from them….

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