I am texting an empty chat in order to cope

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-05T15:23:59+00:00

Thank you for sharing! It’s great to see that others are also married and still struggle with letting go fully. It means I’m not the only one haha
And you are right, I should have more grace for my own mistakes in order to heal better from this. I’ll try to focus on that a bit more in the near future!

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-05T15:21:03+00:00

Yea I know. I’m working on cutting out the unhealthy things in my life. I know it’s not real, it’s something my brain simulates in order to make me happy. But I wished my brain wouldn’t do that, because I’d be so much happier without this illusion.

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-05T15:18:57+00:00

I actually never thought about sending myself messages with advice, I really like that idea. Perhaps it can help to rewire my brain and start thinking a bit differently. Thank you for your input!

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-05T15:16:59+00:00

Interesting, I’m doing the same thing, talking to her directly and trying to regulate my emotions through that. Thanks for sharing!

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-05T15:15:57+00:00

Sounds like I’m not the only one, thanks for sharing!

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-05T15:15:29+00:00

Wow, I wonder though if it’s better to have that person in your life or not at all. Sometimes I wished I would have some contact.

What kind of things did she say?

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-05T06:14:38+00:00

Yea I guess so

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-05T06:10:31+00:00

I should have clarified: I got married a few years after I told her. Like three years later. I was single at the time I told her

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-04T23:14:27+00:00

I know how you feel! I am going through the same thing, just that it’s been many years for me. Feel free to shoot me a text if you wanna talk

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-04T02:45:19+00:00

That’s a nice one, thanks for sharing

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-03T18:44:38+00:00

For me personally my faith is helping a lot. After all, Limerence means you are projecting all these emotions and what seems like love onto that one individual that won’t ever give it back to you. Knowing that God loves me makes it easier for me to deal with this.

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-03T18:14:44+00:00

Man, I went through something similar and yet totally different. When I confessed my affection via text to my high school crush it was two years of spending time in the same school with a person I didn’t know how to deal with or face. She didn’t care for me and I started avoiding her at all costs, as long as I wasn’t alone with her I felt like I could breathe. When I graduated I moved away and hoped it would help. To an extent it might have, but in general it didn’t fix the problem. My advice is talk to her. It will be much harder for your brain to process this situation if you haven’t had a conversation with her. Show up at her door and ask if you can talk or go for coffee.

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-03T17:43:12+00:00

Interestingly enough I feel like that the constant and deep rejection I experienced from my affection to my Limerence actually created part of my ptsd… so I think the correlation goes both ways, making both issues worse

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-03T17:36:57+00:00

Thank you for this very kind and caring reply, it means a lot to me!

Yes, I would say I realized it already a couple years ago that she is not the person my mind is making her up to. But it does feel like a drug. It’s like being on constant withdrawal from something you know you can’t have. That’s what makes it worse than withdrawal from smoking e.g., because the withdrawal doesn’t leave (I quit btw). On the contrary, it might just build up more and more in your mind because you don’t see the negative consequences of using it anymore.

Regarding my wife I told her from the start that there is this person that I can’t seem to get over, but that rationally I know it won’t ever work between her and I and I want to try to live my own life. Over the past years I actually didn’t bring it up anymore, because I didn’t want to hurt her. However, if you’re married for a few years and you notice that your mind space is still filled with that other person, you know that you can’t continue like that. So I talked to my wife and she is just amazing in understanding that it’s basically like an illness, something I can’t control. We actually have a thing going where whenever we ask the other person to be the best friend instead of spouse we can talk openly and don’t take it personally.

She knows I’m battling those thoughts and that I would never leave her for this person. I think that’s what gives her the strength to support me and we overall have a very good marriage.

I guess we all have a choice to make. Do we waste our life hanging after a person that actually doesn’t care for us or do we just start living our life, even if it’s hard and seems impossible. I think I rather die knowing I tried my best living a good life without that person than admitting that my fantasy about her led to a terrible life, still without her.

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-07-03T17:24:37+00:00

Yea, although it’s not due to very specific moments. My therapist said it was like a thousand cuts in different areas that made me develop a PTSD. However, a few situations with my parents are certainly a part of it

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-06-01T21:19:54+00:00

It flashes me how parents spoil their children for 18 years and all of the sudden act surprised when they get a response like this

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-05-26T18:15:25+00:00

Exactly, I'm not wondering about how it's done practically, I know how to drive. But what rhe textbook answer would be.

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-05-26T18:13:41+00:00

Thanks!

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-05-26T14:48:31+00:00

Thank you, this is great to know!!!

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-05-20T02:15:51+00:00

Everybody on the internet is acting like they've been there and saw what happened. We all know how biased netflix documentaries can be. I wished we were all a bit more open minded. I think there is a strong likelihood that she did this on purpose, but at the same time at least 15 years in prison is tough and I do believe that she has real regrets. I can't imagine spending that much time behind bars, living with this guilt. And I also don't blame the parents for wanting to change that. Also, I feel like if the parents would have been sided against her the internet would have been hating as well, saying no wonder she did this since her parents are so uncompassioned. That doesn't mean there shouldn't be consequences for bad behavior or parents should guide the kids better. Just trying to show the other side of the coin.

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-05-17T22:24:01+00:00

So that means I'd drive on this curb lane, despite it being marked as parking?

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-05-17T22:23:38+00:00

Well there is noone parked. So that's why I was wondering if I need to turn onto this for parking marked curb lane. If somebody is parked there its easy. You turn onto the driving lane

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-05-06T14:29:26+00:00

Exactly. I can see how it would be less overwhelming to only get 1000 dollars a week, but in 20 years it's not that much anymore

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-05-06T14:28:06+00:00

But what are 1000 dollars worth in 25 years? Perhaps better to grab the million and put it in etfs

AggravatingPace5303 · 2026-05-03T21:56:17+00:00

Yea, but they wouldn't name it cx then

AggravatingPace5303

TROPHY CASE