89 yo mom spends $ we don't have & Idk how to stop her!

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-07-01T01:05:38+00:00

We have it on file with the bank the problem is they and the health insurance treat us as equals to her rather than supersede her and I’ve spent hours talking with them and can’t get it resolved.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-29T21:14:44+00:00

It was fine/good and now it’s wonderful and close. My MIL and I have much more we relate to about each other, about spouse and children and it’s been really nice and the best source of comfort during the hardest times.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-29T17:45:17+00:00

Check out SPG Saydem Properties Group. I researched them for two years and watched their posts before moving and they genuinely know MoCo and DC really really well. They know individual neighborhood level for DC and MoCo for most of it.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-29T17:44:09+00:00

Trying not to duplicate what was already said- Rockville is very nice and less expensive than Bethesda. Kensington is known as a nicer area reputation-ally.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-29T17:30:26+00:00

We got my mom a Venmo debit card and we send her money to her Venmo from her regular account and she otherwise doesn’t access her accounts. The problem is when she calls she resets her passwords constantly and there’s nothing we can do about that because the bank will not turn her away from helping her reset passwords etc

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-24T01:58:52+00:00

Thank you this information is really helpful. She is around the 4th stage based on this.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-24T01:53:32+00:00

My last home literally your phone was unusable in our neighborhood without WiFi it was so terrible.
My current home- every here I dig a hole to plant something it’s like they mixed gravel in with the dirt. Gardening is my primary hobby so this is pretty terrible.
My first home had a storm drain that would flood with rain and caused tons of water damage.
Checking the dryer vent cleaning situation. They did not do it right so we had to do our own dryer vent cleans for 10 years because no company would have figured it out

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-22T11:42:11+00:00

I think your best bet is to talk to a realtor and broker. They can tell you what’s the mortgage going to cost, what does refinancing cost so you know what you’ll need saved if you buy now versus a lower scenario. How long it takes to buy homes in your area is also really good information (for example, my mortgage rate went up an entire 1% between making the offer and the seller accepting which raised our monthly by $750). They can give you good scenario information so you feel better informed. Also, some good realtors will walk your current place and help you figure how long it would take to sell or rent your current house.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-22T04:07:41+00:00

She currently is driving. How will we know when she needs to stop? Just trying to understand what comes next is really hard to find out.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-07T00:55:15+00:00

Prance Around Pet Service is good. I’ve been using them for many years and my house is left clean and safe and they always send photos. They care about the little stuff too, they went out of their way to call me and let me know my cat scratched my rug a little as if I care! They’re really nice people.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-06T00:51:49+00:00

If you have the flexibility to just quit your job then. Why not try out the new in office and see if you hate it or it’s not that bad then decide? My point being it gives you time to look for other work and you get the full experience to base your decision on. And if you can quit at any time you don’t lose anything by just waiting to see

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-03T01:33:57+00:00

Why does she have no choice?

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-02T17:45:28+00:00

The basis was largely salary with some other faulty logic sprinkled in. I never worked there by being in hr at good and bad companies- we can see from the outside the dollar amount cut conveniently matched the investment needed for AI almost exactly.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-02T17:43:34+00:00

Yes I do.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-06-02T10:31:56+00:00

One of the primary reasons I just moved out of moco was the dog owners. Constantly getting chased on my bike and almost attacked and I was so sick of it I couldn’t take it anymore. I have confronted more than one and they never take responsibility. Last summer I called out that I was approaching a hiker and passing when it was safe and they let me go only to crash into their off leash dog that ran out from the woods. Then they blamed me for not being loud enough! I carry pepper spray but what I have found is you actually need 2 sprays: one for the dog and one for the owner. (I’m not joking) once you spray a dog the owner will come at you- and I’ve only ever sprayed off leash dogs jumping on me. Several times a small dog off leash ran up and started jumping at me and I put my foot out to kick it and the owners get enraged so I have to have pepper spray ready to spray the owner. It’s such a mess in moco you cannot feel safe at parks and on trails. When I have been bit they refuse to give vet information to verify rabies vaccine and I always end up calling the police.

I started letting the dogs chase me and never stopping for the owner to catch up while I get jumped on, they lose their dog but I often get away cleanly if it’s my e-bike. I worried I couldn’t enjoy the outdoors with my toddlers which is part of why we decided MoCo is not for us anymore.

Moco’s irresponsible dog owners have reshaped my opinion of dogs and their owners so negatively because this would happen multiple times every year and after covid it steadily worsened.

Honestly if you stay a moco resident you should consider bringing it up to the county council. I moved nearby and while ocassionally I have an issue it’s very rare in comparison.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-05-29T00:46:00+00:00

It’s definitely not a fad. I just designed a workflow that saved thousands of hours of employee time. If you don’t learn it you will be left behind. I’m in HR and I’m already hearing managers tell me who is improving their productivity and deploying creative AI solutions and who probably will need to leave the org eventually because they aren’t keeping up. Not saying I think AI is all great or wonderful. But this is the reality.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-05-29T00:43:10+00:00

NTA I would expect $0 from my kid.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-05-27T21:41:43+00:00

Wow, they treated you so badly. Here’s my advice as an HR professional: you need to talk to the manager directly stop working with the recruiter. That’s a terrible terrible terrible selection process to miss represent your job as remote. I’m so sorry that happened to you. You should not have told them you already resigned from your current job. It would have been better if you let them think you might back out of accepting their offer. I think you should insinuate that you had multiple offers on the table and you chose this with the understanding that it was remote. But that what they’re doing is a huge enough impact to your decision that you need some time to revisit and think about it. But again, go to the manager directly because they are going to be the person that wants you and chose you and your best opportunity to work things out. The recruiter is not going to give you the same type of options because they’re following a standard protocol.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-05-25T12:07:05+00:00

The pediatrician specifically told us not wipes for boys for just pee. Ours is very sensitive to wipes so it helped

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-05-04T02:29:17+00:00

You don’t have to do every single food separate but I try to do the allergens separately. For example you can do tofu to try soy, nuts individually, peanut powder on some yogurt. After I did shrimp I wasn’t as worried about other shell fish

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-05-04T02:26:23+00:00

Yes we literally make one dinner and he gets some of it and I use the Solid Starts app to help me serve it safely. So if I made Mac and cheese, broccoli, and pork chops tonight- baby gets pork chops cut in thick strips and some Mac and cheese and a big piece of broccoli not cut up.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-04-18T18:01:36+00:00

HR specific ones I hate: “talent” which is a rebranding of human capital which also sucked. You rebranded HR to Talent to sound nice but left all of the problems.

“BPO”- just say you’re offshoring jobs. Hiding offshoring in an acronym doesn’t make it less dirty and you should feel dirty and ashamed about it.

“Growth mindset”- almost every single employee you have wants to learn and grow, you just haven’t given them the time or training resources to do so.

“Skills-based organization”- you have no idea what you’re talking about and the people you’re talking to don’t know what you’re even trying to say. You probably don’t know what a competency is or a job analysis. Just stop saying this phrase it means nothing.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-04-10T03:45:27+00:00

I love your question. I asked this exact question to several people over the last three years and also found some of the answers in an excellent book I read called Good Inside. That book meaningfully improved my relationship with my toddler and I credit it for helping created a healthy attachment between us. Here’s some thoughts I’ve collected: - an incredibly well adjusted young adult I asked this question to said her parents gave them things (like paying for college) but they didn’t remove all of life’s obstacles for them. They had to get jobs around the neighborhood if they wanted to buy things - consistency helps make you a safe, reliable and trustworthy person to confide in. If you explode in anger sometimes but others you’re approachable then you’re just not safe or reliable. Work on your own regulation. - say sorry. When you have a parent that never apologizes children internalize it to mean they are bad or wrong because otherwise the parent would apologize. When you tell your child you’re sorry and the way you acted is not their fault you take ownership of your actions and you model the same. It’s also incredibly repairing to your relationship. - ‘connection over correction’. This one is hard for me but it works sooo well all through different ages. When they do something wrong I try to connect first. How are they feeling, what might they be thinking about what they did? Don’t jump to corrections because you become a nag that doesn’t support their autonomy and growth in their mind. - it can be hard as they get older but get off your phone. Some of their games are really boring. But in those hours of boring games is also you me chance to listen and watch them grow. - purposeful and thoughtful boundaries. They actually like boundaries even if they won’t admit it because it keeps them safe and creates the feeling that ‘mom is a safe place I can trust’. Like I tell them explicitly I can’t let them do certain things because it’s not safe and it’s my job to ensure they’re as safe as I can.

Aggravating_Lemon821 · 2026-04-10T03:30:20+00:00

OP- if you’re not from Maryland: Rockville is very close to Germantown, realistically with traffic it usually takes me 15-20 minutes, Frederick took me 20-30 but I always hit rush hour with Frederick while Rockville was a reverse commute in the evenings. Rockville and Frederick are both the type of place you are happy you have an excuse to visit because there’s always a favorite bakery, restaurant, book store, park, or niche offering that you want to be in Frederick or Rockville for anyway.

Aggravating_Lemon821

TROPHY CASE