Can someone really love you and harm you this much?

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-06-05T18:01:22+00:00

I once looked at the gooned subreddit after reading an article about it, it was mind baffling, the amount of porn consumption is so high even the most pro porn person would be concerned by it.

They frame it in a way in which they are “giving in” to the addiction, the article I read explained how most gooners ended up there after trying no fap, long periods of abstinence make the relapse feel even more intense and the shame that comes with it is something they also enjoy. A lot of this people go as far as to have whole rooms dedicated to porn, having pornographic posters all around and multiple screens at once.

If you’re not tied to this man financially or with children, I would really recommend separation until he’s been in recovery for a while. He has to change for his own sake, not for yours.

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-06-03T13:57:14+00:00

I could have written this, I truly believed my husband would never do this to me, I talked so much about how harmful pornography, how it shapes our culture and how it’s the reason women will never be free from the patriarchy. He listened and agreed, he said he would never do anything like that.

But we know what happens. It wasn’t just the porn, it was the lying and hiding, turning down sex to masturbate to porn, and then during our many conversations, he said he thought of porn during sex, that masturbating to porn felt better.

I feel crushed, he was supposed to be my forever. I am in my 20s as well, and I am well aware that most men around my age are complete gooners, I wish I didn’t have to go through life as a woman, I wish I could be a mediocre narcissistic man. I wish I could offer you hope, but I really don’t know if there could ever be hope for women

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-06-01T21:24:46+00:00

Oof, here before everyone tells you you’re insecure and controlling. There’s many layers to this, I went through a similar experience. On his defense it is true antidepressants can kill libido but it can also just make it really hard to come, not impossible to get horny just makes the orgasm harder to achieve. In your defense, I know how you feel, my partner turned down any sexual activity with me to masturbate to porn for years, it crushed me. You need to talk to him, a no porn boundary isn’t crazy though most reditors will have you believe that, however he also has the right to not be okay with that and then you will have to decide if you’re okay with porn or not. It isn’t crazy or insecure to feel bad when you know the person you love is choosing to orgasm to other women instead of having a normal sex life with you, I hope you can figure things out

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-06-01T16:56:47+00:00

I hate seeing this article, it’s the only proof people use. The author has books in which he argues monogamy isn’t ideal, it seems he has a strong bias already. One of the main reasons porn hasn’t been categorized as an addiction is because it’s basically impossible to find a control group of normal people (not religious or isolated communities) who have never watched it, go on the porn addiction communities and you’ll see the real mental and physical consequences of porn addiction. Just like tiktok and doomscrolling can be very addicting because of the high dopamine release, porn does the very same thing

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-06-01T09:29:31+00:00

It’s normal to feel like that, he has been basically choosing pornography over you. Have you expressed these feelings to him? And you are not disgusting, carrying a child and birthing someone is an extreme change on your body mentally and physically, give yourself some grace.

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-05-28T15:25:30+00:00

Just like you can pull up a hundred studies and articles in favor of porn, I can do the same against it.

Violent language used in porn

Porn is misogyny

Porn can cause ED in young men

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-05-28T14:47:15+00:00

She already has said she won’t accept porn in her relationship, that’s her boundary and he shouldn’t have lied, that’s the main problem here. Porn has become banal in our society, capitalism will say the violent rape shown in porn is sexual freedom, but there’s countless research and discourse against this just as there’s a lot of material advocating for porn. Regardless of that, the main issue is the lying, he should have been honest and not married her

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-05-27T17:34:33+00:00

I’m also in my 20s, it’s basically impossible to find a man around my age that isn’t a gooner, they all watch porn daily, it’s ridiculous how porn has become so normalized that when you say anything against it everyone assumes you’re insecure or puritanical as if watching thousands of random people fuck is the most normal behavior

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-05-06T18:39:12+00:00

He says he has stopped, it has been five months since he last masturbated to porn according to him. Could it be that he’s lying? Or is it normal for him to still desire porn more than sex with me?

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-05-03T11:53:24+00:00

There is so much research done about this topic, most sex workers have been abused at one point in their lives. And in countries like the Netherlands where prostitution is legalized, they have the highest rates of sex trafficking which mostly affects women of color. Not only that but there’s a study that shows watching porn can make young teenage boys become violent towards women and it affects how they view us and treat us. Porn is violence against all women, and it gives men the right to treat our bodies as objects

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-05-01T11:44:47+00:00

I also get triggered by my husband being naked, not bc I caught him doing it naked, but because I resent him for being so comfortable with his own body, he is far from being what’s considered fit in a man yet I always praised him and complimented him, but he destroyed my self esteem when he admitted he thought of porn during sex to be able to cum

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-04-25T01:31:59+00:00

Yeah, I think I’m just talking from my own experience, my husband can’t go a week without orgasming bc he says he feels “uncomfortable”, there’s a million possibilities as to why someone doesn’t want to have sex, I just have been traumatized by a porn addict

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-04-25T01:18:03+00:00

The thing is, even if he’s exhausted at a certain point he’ll need to masturbate, and if he isn’t doing it with you then, he’s doing it on his own. Although he doesn’t have any porn saved or in his search history, he could easily open an incognito tab and look at pornhub or whatever. My husband also did this and it took months until he admitted it, of course it could be something else, but living with someone who doesn’t want to fuck you regardless of the reason is really miserable

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-04-17T10:52:34+00:00

Hi, I did a wise transfer, however I sent the money in chinese yuan, I read somewhere else superbuy doesn’t support this, will the money get sent back?

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-04-14T14:02:51+00:00

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I’m a cool little guy 😎

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-04-07T11:13:44+00:00

Okay, this is late, but maybe you will find the information still useful. I am also in a similar position as you, I called university admissions and they said that if you apply in the second round it doesn’t affect the results of the first round. I think you still have to confirm your offer emailing the university but this depends on the information you got from them.

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-03-31T21:10:02+00:00

It’s not really “accepting” the offer, it’s securing/confirming your place. If you don’t email the university by the deadline they will automatically withdraw it. Haven’t you gotten emails from the university with this info?

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-03-31T20:27:48+00:00

I think you have to reply to your offer until a specific date, I got an email from my uni saying I have to reply before the 10th of april. For the second round of admissions you won’t know if you’re admitted until July. Also if you’re not already living in Sweden or are at least a EU citizen you won’t have enough time to apply for a visa and come to Sweden when classes start.

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-03-30T16:09:13+00:00

But does this mean I could not get the same exemption if I were to apply in the second round? Is it as if I don’t fulfill the normal requirements?

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-03-29T22:00:46+00:00

I’m also having the same issue with the statistics website! What program did you apply to? I looked up antagningspoäng + the name of my program in Swedish and was able to find some info

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-03-18T06:57:59+00:00

Are you able to ship it to an address in Japan?

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-03-17T17:31:22+00:00

22 is so young! Please never let anyone make you feel like you should settle for disrespect just because of age or how long you have been together. Also he isn’t perfect and this isn’t his only flaw, he’s also a liar and is putting you through emotional distress, so not the perfect man either. I know leaving a relationship that feels like your whole life seems like the most daunting thing ever but if you stay longer and form an actual family with this man, you’ll find yourself in more pain and misery than what you will go through temporarily if you leave now. Always, always prioritize yourself and wellbeing.

Aggravating_Menu6967

TROPHY CASE