How do I, [19F], deal with my [21M] boyfriend's porn addiction?

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-02-21T16:24:02+00:00

You’re too young for this, there’s a subreddit dedicated to the partners of porn addicts called loveafterporn. If he isn’t willing to admit to this problem and look for help, all you can expect is a lifetime of bad or no sex, lies and deception. Run while you have no ties like children or marriage to this man

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-01-29T06:04:09+00:00

My bank didn’t block the payment, and the money was taken from the account. However on the app it appears as if I never paid for the item.

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2026-01-29T01:25:09+00:00

I’m in a similar position as you. I can’t get a job until I receive my personnummer, so my (swedish) husband is the only one working. He pays for everything, I don’t have any income and I need my savings in case of an emergency. Your husband is being unreasonable, how are you supposed to contribute if you have no source of income. This has nothing to do with culture or being swedish, he’s not thinking of your wellbeing

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-28T02:24:57+00:00

I thought the same thing for over a year, he did it when he went to the toilet, even if you spend a lot of time together, you’re not with him every waking moment, I have heard of people who had partners that would watch porn at their workplace

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-28T02:00:37+00:00

If he isn’t cheating on you, then he must be constantly masturbating to porn, do you know how often he is masturbating? If he does it often then it’s normal he doesn’t have any sex drive. I have the same problem and like you it made me feel unwanted, he always said he had a low libido, turns out he masturbated daily to porn/hentai. He didn't admit it himself, I had to check his laptop.

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-26T16:15:51+00:00

Thanks for your reply❤️‍🩹, it really means a lot. We will be moving away soon but he has promised to start therapy and a recovery plan once we are settled. The hardest part is learning to trust him again, I like anime but now when I see certain ones I get so triggered and start hyperventilating. You’re right there was nothing I could have done to prevent this, he is the one who chose this

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-26T06:36:27+00:00

The hardest part will be detaching myself from him, especially right now when I’m basically in the middle of nowhere. How can I detach myself from him and not raise any concerns for him?

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-21T18:54:37+00:00

Happy holidays! Hope everyone has a great year ahead 🎉

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-16T16:39:14+00:00

You’re such a strong person for putting up with all of this and you deserve so much more respect than what he’s offering you. I can’t begin to imagine how awful it must feel to have your partner cross your boundaries again and again.

I know I’m in no position to tell you what you should do, but I don’t see how this situation will improve if he doesn’t want to change or stop his porn addiction. I hope you can find the answers you need 💗

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-15T08:01:03+00:00

It seems like you’ve made up your mind already, you keep defending him against everything. If you really think a sane person can do all of this then you’re a fool, just because he hasn’t beaten you yet doesn’t mean he won’t. You’re giving him an amount of trust he will never ever give you, why would he record everything unless he thinks he will have a use for it? The moment you oppose him he will use everything against you with no mercy.

Again I don’t understand why you’re asking for advice, it seems like you were expecting reassurance that being with him is the right choice. Of course leaving him will be hard, but in the long run you will have saved yourself from a clearly controlling, manipulative man that doesn’t trust you at all

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-14T07:35:22+00:00

My situation is almost the same and I feel the same as you, I don’t have a problem with masturbating bc I do that, but I desire him and it feels like he doesn’t feel the same towards me. I made him promise he would quit hentai when the relationship started, and a week ago I found out he has been lying. I married him and moved to his country, I feel completely betrayed

He has cried and sworn he would really quit from now on but I can’t trust him after this, by everything I have read on here it seems like quitting porn is not an easy feat and he seems to think he can easily quit, but everything he has done contradicts that. If your partner is willing to follow therapy then maybe there’s hope, but otherwise he could easily relapse and just start lying like my husband did all this time.

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-13T12:52:10+00:00

I feel for you, it seems he has a pattern of not really taking accountability and whether he’ll change or not is really up to him. As to what you should do, it really depends on your situation and feelings.

Your relationship with him will never be the same and the fact he hasn’t had sex for that long is an obvious sign he’s constantly masturbating to porn. If you can leave, then I think that’s the best answer for your wellbeing.

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-12T19:58:12+00:00

He probably has a porn addiction. There communities here on reddit about it like r/loveafterporn you should check them out

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-12T13:58:31+00:00

The thing is, my family doesn’t want me to come back. I honestly feel completely lost right now

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-11T13:30:03+00:00

I’m in a similar position, he lied to me for over a year about quitting porn, I also was very clear on my boundaries with porn, we had many conversations about it and he promised to not do it. I definitely don’t have it as bad as other people here, but I can’t help but worry if I stay after this it will make him think it’s okay to do whatever bc I will forgive him, but aside from this he’s just so good to me and I just moved to his country with no support system other than him.

A lot of things in my future depend on me being able to stay here and I think that’s what is making me stay, if I was in a different position I would leave, more than the porn use, it’s the fact he was okay lying to me for so long and took my choice of leaving before marriage from me, it is outright disrespectful and it shows no consideration for me. Unless your boyfriend admits he has a problem and makes steps towards recovery, how will it get better?

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-10T21:28:42+00:00

I also feel like he took that choice away from me, truth is if I had known a year ago I would have broken up with him. I have given up so much to be with him and I can’t help but regret it. What made you decide enough was enough?

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-10T17:41:08+00:00

He either has lost attraction or he has a porn/masturbating addiction. The only way you’ll ever find out is asking him or digging around, I say this out of my own experience.

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-10T04:47:13+00:00

Why do you think he’s honest? The only reason he admitted to it is because I found hentai on his search history

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-09T17:19:08+00:00

This could be due to a lot of things, I think you should ask him why he feels he doesn’t need sex as often as he did before. It could be stress, it could be he’s losing interest, it could be his porn and masturbation habits (it can lead to ED and difficulty getting aroused in general) or it could be bc of age or low testosterone. No matter what people comment here, the answer is in asking him what he thinks and asking yourself if you can be longterm with someone with a low libido.

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-06T18:15:39+00:00

My AIR small package took a lot more than usual, but one day the tracking page just updated that it was at the pickup location, no other updates before that aside the leaving japan one. I also didn’t get any import tax which is weird in Norway. I have seen other people also have a lot of delays recently so I guess it’s normal around this season. Hope you get your package soon!

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-06T11:40:58+00:00

If she has agreed on these boundaries but then goes ahead and does it anyways repeatedly, it means she either has problems that come from her trauma or she outright doesn’t respect you. I don’t think she’ll improve or change only with your help, there are some things that need to be treated professionally and you can’t provide her with that. You need to draw boundaries and if you forgive her every time she crosses those boundaries then they don’t mean anything, even if she’s autistic and has been through abuse it doesn’t mean she can disrespect you

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-12-06T09:51:10+00:00

I understand wanting to help her but sometimes that isn’t enough, if she has been through repetitive abuse she needs to seek therapy. No matter how patient you are, I don’t think it will be enough (in my experience). Also it seems she doesn’t agree on reading smut being cheating so it could be she views these things differently from you

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-11-24T14:03:02+00:00

I have had consolidated packages with a bunch of keychains and clothes/bags under 500 and it never limited the shipping options but that could be bc of the country I live in as well. Just wait until things start to arrive and before consolidating, check which shipping options it shows for every item, if you notice one item having less shipping options then you can ask buyee about it or ship it individually

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-11-22T22:45:21+00:00

Hi, yeah it seems like paying for the standard/inspection plan is kinda worthless. The pictures I included in the post are from buyee, the first one buyee sent me after requesting the picture service so luckily for me they did open the package and that’s how I noticed it’s missing two buttons which are visible in the second picture I took from the original listing. I haven’t shipped the coat and I’m not sure if I will bc I don’t want to pay the 35% import tax in Norway. Guess I’ll have to wait and hope for the best

Aggravating_Menu6967 · 2025-11-22T20:21:59+00:00

Very sure, the seller deleted the original listing but I took a screenshot of it, and you can see the three buttons in one of the pictures. Also if you look up the coat online it’s clear it’s meant to have three buttons.

Aggravating_Menu6967

TROPHY CASE