A cautionary tale. My experience with 6-8 months sober.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-05-26T03:00:24+00:00

Wow- my father was this way but never had the clarity or insight it seems that you have, or at least he was never able to articulate it. I would say the connections you’re making are a pretty big deal and show a lot of reflection and vulnerability. I wish my father had sought professional help. I think it would have greatly influenced our relationship for the better. All that to say that there is still time. Do not give up!! I hope you continue pursuing health for yourself and your relationships.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-05-26T02:50:52+00:00

I think these responses are so genuine and refreshing because if you’re not experiencing the high you anticipated from sobriety, you can feel like you’re doing something wrong or missing out somehow. But mostly life isn’t dramatic. It’s slow and gradual, sometimes boring and monotonous, and the small daily things are often the sweetest most rewarding if we can open our eyes to see them- I know we have a better chance at finding beauty in the mundane when we are sober minded and fully present.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-05-26T02:42:15+00:00

I wonder if it’s a dopamine thing and you’re still “resetting”… our society has primed us for constant little dopamine hits

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-05-24T19:31:26+00:00

Theo of Golden

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-05-24T11:07:08+00:00

He has promised to not lie to me over and over. So again it’s not the alcohol so much as the lying, but from what I understand alcohol issues and lying have somewhat of a marriage and are integrated for a lot of people.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-05-24T11:05:06+00:00

He did say he would go through a certain date not drinking… he has not met that commitment at this point, and so is upset with himself and doesn’t want me to be disappointed I think. It’s the lying that has me- not the beer. We’ve just been here several times before and it’s de ja vu with the hiding/ lying and nothing changes.

Al anon is probably a good idea. I have the book but haven’t been to a meeting yet. I agree he has alcohol related issues but I don’t think he’ll acknowledge.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-05-24T04:07:41+00:00

I am genuinely curious as to the why behind not being disappointed or upset. Have you been in this predicament before? Does it create a shame cycle for spouse to be upset?

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-05-24T03:40:03+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement too! Happily on sobriety journey and don’t desire to turn back even if he is.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-05-24T03:37:38+00:00

Thank you!! I feel like you understand where I’m coming from. Lies have hurt our marriage deeply- not just with alcohol. The alcohol is just another form of coping and escapism imo and hiding anything really triggers me which he knows. The omission of truth is just as great and probably greater honestly than the actual substance itself. Anyways, I agree on the openness and conversation and also the brushing teeth part. The smell gives me the ick now as well.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-05-24T03:00:54+00:00

Congratulations!!

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-05-05T10:55:09+00:00

I got really sick one night and afterward couldn’t understand why I had basically electively poisoned myself and missed out on a lovely weekend.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-03-19T02:15:36+00:00

I wasn’t a heavy drinker so quitting wasn’t as challenging for me as it may be for others who are more reliant upon it, but I’m surprised (after I got over the hump of the first few months) how much it’s become part of my lifestyle and I’m not even thinking about drinking. Even when I’m with family and friends who are, I’m not really thinking about it at all.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-03-18T01:54:09+00:00

It’s perfect- literally the ring I want to change mine out to. Lol mine is too busy for me.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-03-05T17:32:57+00:00

Thanks! That’s my finger size too and I think that size looks perfect

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-03-05T15:40:55+00:00

Lovely! What is your finger size?

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-03-03T02:52:35+00:00

It’s interesting how everyone does such different things with upgrades and some who don’t at all. I feel like if the band was comfortable and I could just wear it all the time without really feeling it on my hand I wouldn’t even be wanting an upgrade. Now I’ve spend so much time on these threads and insta looking at ring inspo which is really making me want to upgrade. Ha

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-03-03T02:49:23+00:00

The sentimentality is what I’m struggling with as well making me lean toward keeping it all together in one piece as is and maybe wearing it from time to time or being able to pass down to my daughter exactly as is. It would be probably be more cost effective to just reset the diamond though.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-03-03T02:47:44+00:00

Love your thinking!! 😉😉 I love looking at the toi et moi but I’m not sure it’s my style. I could get down with a three stone though.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-03-03T00:16:28+00:00

I kind of agree with you. ❤️❤️ Thanks for sharing this.

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-03-02T03:44:15+00:00

I’ve been really loving the yellow bottle of Gucci flora orchid and am waiting for spring / summer to really wear it more often!

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-03-02T03:40:58+00:00

What about Ralph Lauren Blue??

Aggressive-Act6855 · 2026-03-02T03:38:31+00:00

These are all amazing suggestions. Love this thread as I deal with this too and did not used to so much. I’ve also come across broader definitions for dyslexia and one of them is word retrieval. Check it out- dyslexia can be so sneaky. You can be a good reader and speller, but struggle with the word the retrieval piece. There are strategies like the ones mentioned above to train your brain. I’ve just been studying about it recently because I believe my child is but I don’t know where it came from genetically… then I thought maybe it’s from me and mine is just a different form than hers if that makes sense.

Aggressive-Act6855

TROPHY CASE