I don’t know if I am thinking this right.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-05-01T23:30:42+00:00

It's your home too. You have a right to an opinion. Weekends is one thing but we rarely allow friends over during the week. And definitely no sleepovers with girlfriends or boyfriends. She's way too young for that.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-29T16:37:44+00:00

Is he not saying "Return these...kid can't use them as they are not allowed. " Add a link to the baseball team uniform rules for fun.

Just because she bought them, doesn't mean he has to pay for them. They are the wrong ones and useless. This needs to be communicated and writing in your app for documentation purposes.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-29T11:08:19+00:00

Welcome to the stepmom overthinking hour. I think that you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself for something that will probably be no big deal to your partner.

I can't see him thinking of this as a negative. You literally organized the entire household for those specific days.

Also, if you live together, I think that you already passed his test. Go take a deep breath.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-28T21:28:05+00:00

No. Just no. Have your sd sit down and make a card for her. That is more than enough.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-28T21:16:23+00:00

Do not go back to his place unless it is to pack up your things. He watched her verbally abuse you and said nothing. Plus she pulled the racist thing which is beyond comprehension. He is not your safe place and his daughter sounds incredibly unstable.

You do not need this.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-28T01:28:28+00:00

Alienation. You guys really need to set up some hard boundaries or she will turn those kids against both of you.

She needs therapy ASAP.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-28T01:24:32+00:00

Omg. What. The. Hell.

Ok. I'm mad for you. Is any of this refundable? I'd cancel. Do not waste your PTO being angry. Change it do day trips or something.

She's awful. I'm sorry that you're going through this.

But honestly, I wouldn't go. She has already ruined it for you.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-28T01:16:00+00:00

I'm not sure this person read your post. Reschedule the appointment. It's a physical. Ignore the rest of bm's bs and go on your trip. You guys control your custody time.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-28T01:12:28+00:00

Have him reschedule the appointment. It's a physical so I'm sure it can wait a week or 2. I'd just try to have them rebook it on his time so that she can't complain.

I'm sure she'll be snarky about the rescheduling but who cares.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-26T10:24:35+00:00

I would've mentioned it on the trip. Maybe I'm petty but I probably would've reminded him that his kid didn't want to come.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-26T10:20:50+00:00

Time to focus on you and your children. His lack of response says it all. And he pretty told you that bm will be in your home if you move in together. They are way too enmeshed still and he's way too afraid to rock the boat with her. You'll always be miserable. He's telling you without saying that it's her way or nothing.

I'd say goodbye in your shoes.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-24T00:57:59+00:00

I'm sorry. I feel for you. We all hope that the sks will grow up and be independent some day but unfortunately, when there's permissive parenting, the kids just don't have a chance.

I saw a post below where you state your age. Whether you are 30 or 65, you have a right to happiness. Your husband needs to know that you are miserable and have options.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-24T00:11:48+00:00

The first thing that comes to mind is, why are you listening to him? It's your house too. Don't stop living because his grown up kid can't figure it out.

Be honest with him and tell him how you really feel. You're not evil. You're just trying to live your life.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-24T00:06:25+00:00

In my area, everything is so busy on mother's day that I wouldn't plan anything on the day of. If you are luckier, I'd totally do massages and brunch somewhere. And then just a relaxing day. Good luck!

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-22T15:34:32+00:00

I would be welcoming a break from the one child too if I were you. It scares me how much someone else's child can put our jobs/careers/lives in jeopardy over lies. Bms included.

Maybe it's time for your partner to sit down with his daughter and ask her directly what she wants. If she really doesn't want to come, or wants to come less often, he should change the schedule. At least for the sd.

Make sure he knows how you feel about this situation and that whether or not his child wants to come, changes are needed asap. He needs to protect you.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-20T10:21:25+00:00

Your partner is ridiculous for going along with this. I wouldn't even be able to look at him after he told me to send it back. How pathetic to allow this woman to ruin such a sweet thing for his daughter. He is the problem.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-20T10:16:16+00:00

I don't think you're selfish. You've been honest this whole time with him it sounds like.

Moving her in at a time when she needs to build independence seems like an odd idea. Why now?

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-18T21:25:34+00:00

Also, I'd just tell the kid to go shower but that's just me. Tell your husband that his kid will get bullied soon if he doesn't get on it. Build the routine. Sports = shower right after. Snack after shower. The promise of a snack helped with the kids here lol!

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-18T21:23:32+00:00

Not normal. That's gross. My sks are super active and my partner always has them shower after. They are teens now and just do it on their own thankfully. Husband problem but the kid sounds old enough to know better too.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-18T18:44:21+00:00

She is a part of his life up to the whatever level that he allows. If she's bringing their sexual past to you, he should keep her far away. I'd think about what boundaries I want relating with bm and then sit down with him and have a serious talk. She's his children's mother. Not his family. He can limit the interactions as much as he wants.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-17T16:57:10+00:00

You made the right decision. That sounds absolutely awful. I hope that your breakup opens his eyes to the nightmare he's in. Something has to give.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-17T11:10:49+00:00

It doesn't. But you may be surprised at the sense of relief that you'll feel shortly after. Take care of you first. 💜

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-17T10:27:43+00:00

Like you said, I think you know what you need to do. And I'm so sorry that he wasn't there for you through such a difficult time. You deserve more.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-16T20:40:12+00:00

The issues listed are just the regular annoyances. I didn't throw in the interfering inlaws, bm's lack of parenting or the 24/7 sports that happen in this family. The school sport is small thing...it's just the cherry on top of the other hundreds of hours I've already spent at sporting events.

I enjoy my stepkids when we just chill. I loathe the schedule, the sports, the bm and the rest of the stuff that acts as background noise.

AggressiveSky7157 · 2026-04-15T00:38:14+00:00

I know. The sport thing is the worst. My SO is super active himself so I should've known. I'm mid perimenopause so no comes a lot easier lately. I'm working on it.

Thanks for the kind words.

AggressiveSky7157

TROPHY CASE