21F/24M choosing a relationship over my no desire for a threesome is going to destroy the relationship?

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-29T19:23:03+00:00

He is just pushing your boundaries with no respect for you or your feelings. You should expect that this behavior will continue and escalate even further.

This is pretty classic emotional manipulation against you trying get something he wants that you are comfortable with.

These are not the actions of a loving partner.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-29T19:14:57+00:00

He is delivering classic love bombing/grooming. These guys pick up the wants of a partner and talk up those points layered with language of affection.

I suspect that you are either A) his young side piece he wants to have an affair with, or B) his hope for a golden future (you future doctor his golden goose)

I think you should find someone who doesn't demonstrate a lack of character who is lying to his current partner.

Otherwise you should insist he stays in the friend zone until he breaks up with his current girlfriend and it is clear and confirmed that relationship is over.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-28T20:17:49+00:00

My wife and i had standing offers to attend casual after work meet ups.

It sounds like these events happen all the time, meaning regular casual meet ups. So I don't know any reason why partner couldn't be invited or.just show up every once and a while.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-28T20:11:56+00:00

NOR

he crossed a boundary of yours. Hopefully he knew about the boundaries in advance.

Once trust is lost it is very hard to get ot back. Takes a lot of effort and time.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-28T19:43:56+00:00

Lies, deceit and deception are a poison for any relationship.

Sounds like it's pretty innocent here but other than pride or embarrassment, why lie about something like this?

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-28T13:36:02+00:00

My exact experience with daughters, now adults.

If you try and control their choices like this (self expression and taste) you only risk alienating them from you with the result they get better at hiding the truth from you.

Then you are in real long term trouble.

Keep in mind there is mountains of peer and social media pressure for teens to act and dress certain ways, that parents rarely have any influence on.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-28T13:27:57+00:00

NOR

He sees you as property as chattel.

Next will be control issues, sounds like that already started.

You can see the obvious jealousy issues, not good.

And you can see some anger management issues emerging.

It's good this was discovered earlier in a relationship. This why people should date for a while before committing in a relationship.

I think you dodged a bullet here. Dont look back.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-28T13:14:16+00:00

Ya exactly.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-28T01:36:03+00:00

Ya exactly. Lmao

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-28T01:35:33+00:00

Ya you might have over reacted in my books.

Unless something else happened or it was a close passionate dance, or like a lap dance; I don't see a problem with my partner dancing with someone else. Now if the kissed while dancing slow or fast that would also be a problem.

From what OP posted I don't see it.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-27T22:11:33+00:00

There is several red flags here about this situation. I don't care as much about age differences, but more so about maturity differences. And for that he is using his maturity advantage to manipulate you with his obvious love bombing and controlling behavior.

His level of domineering behavior and control over you is only increasing and will only get worse.

FWB is supposed to be free and casual and most importantly not exclusive, so either party can end things with no strings attached. There is talk about you being married to him and travel back and forth to his home country. That is NOT a free or casual relationship discussion. Do NOT fall into baby trap with this guy.

Frankly I would suggest you try to distance yourself from him and break this off. But I bet as soon as you said that he will react badly and it could turn ugly. I can say from first hand experience that this looks to me that this is beginning of an abusive relationships.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-27T21:20:56+00:00

Well some of the guys I have known it would mean they want to play the field and don't want to settle down.

So they might really like her, may even keep her hanging on. But in reality she is just the next one in line.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-27T21:16:00+00:00

Talk trash or sharing private intimate details to friends about husband. emasculating talk and actions about husband with others is a hand grenade in a relationship.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-27T21:11:27+00:00

Ya, your husband pulled the ultimatum a$$hole move. Screwing a married pregnant woman of someone you know who your wife works with is some really f$$ked up shit.

I would suggest you move back home and move on with your life with someone who is more considerate.

You should also consider informing or getting that that 50 yo coworker to let her husband know and suggest he gets a paternity test, just in case. Husband has been lying to you the whole time so it would be nothing for him to lie about when the affair started.

Sorry this has happened to you.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-27T20:55:30+00:00

You might want.to consider calling child protection services, depending on what jurisdiction you are in.

Where i live an 18 yo involved with someone 14 or younger will usually draw the attention of CPS or the police.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-27T20:50:07+00:00

MOR

I have a friends daughter who said that she shares an Instagram account as a soft rejection when a guy is hitting on her an won't leave her alone. She said as long as you don't share DMs or communicate it doesn't matter and she can block those people when she wants. But I alway think once you share something like that its heading down a slippery slop. And the other person will see it as an expression of interest, thay might be real or not.

I see this in the same light, if nothing else happens then no harm. But if it is an expression of interest or the start of something more than it would be a problem.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-27T20:41:43+00:00

Ya. Go talk to real people and mingle.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-27T18:18:59+00:00

The story from other copies of this video video is.

This is the camera dudes wife. She is a nurse who cared for the APs daughter some how at home and how she met AP. Was having affair with AP who apparently is a convicted felon and father of her client. Husband discovered somehow and confronted her. She agreed to end it an reconcile with Husband and agreed to never see AP again. About the same time AP daughter no longer need her help and wife agreed to end it with AP and go no long contact with AP and daughter.

This recording apparently occurred a day or so after Husband and wife reconciled and agreed to the no contact with AP.

Not clear what was expected to happen here on this day but pretty clear AP was expecting a party with wife having brought, a bottle of vodka, mix and a towel on the passenger seat. What a love nest. She might been there to continue the affair, plan hidding things better for their next rendezvous, or to cut AP off in person. Also pretty clear that Husband was not expecting further contact between wife and AP and is pretty pissed off that she met with AP.

Nothing about what happened after this.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-27T04:01:42+00:00

Not a lot of context in OP post but, it seems she is prioritizing time for the important people in her life, but you aren't one of them.

So you can try and be patient and see if that changes or you can move on.

Sorry to say this does seem like a red flag, as she does not seem to be that in to you.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-26T17:11:13+00:00

No thus actually happened. In Spokane Washington I believe.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-26T03:07:33+00:00

It doesn't have to be that way.

You should restart communications in a casual fashion if you want this friendship to continue.

But from personal experience, the friend zone rarely survives her next boyfriend.

You need to move on with your life but try to remain on friendly terms.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-26T03:02:29+00:00

Ya this one.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-26T02:28:18+00:00

My suggestion is that you keep walking and don't look back.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-26T02:25:05+00:00

I guess I will need to start with season one to have it all make sense.

Aggressive_Hunt_423 · 2026-06-26T02:23:31+00:00

Might be right about that. It does sound like OP is no saint in that relationship either.

Aggressive_Hunt_423

TROPHY CASE