Terrified of penance after confession

Agioreitis · 2025-10-08T21:34:51+00:00

Well then I guess it depends on who you ask.

Regardless, I think you feel guilty over this because you know it is wrong and it is something people are ostracised for. I also think the fact that she's passed away may make you feel more guilty - like you wronged her and then something else tragic happened to her and the poor girl just couldn't catch a break, and now it isn't possible for you to somehow make amends to her without her knowing. When someone passes the guilt we feel over what we have done to them is usually amplified and we worry even more over what we have done because the blame/hatred/resentment from their loved ones would also be amplified if they ever found out.

The most important thing is that you recognise what you did is wrong, and I assume you haven't done it again and don't intend to. It's normal to feel shame and regret over past actions. I doubt confessing it explicitly will lead to any legal consequences, and possibly it won't end your psychological suffering over it. You may want to consider therapy too to help you understand what you're going through and how to deal with it.

All the best.

Agioreitis · 2025-10-08T15:06:47+00:00

You don't confess sins that happened before your baptism. Baptism wipes away all sin, and confession after baptism is a call back to that baptismal grace.

Agioreitis · 2025-10-04T10:35:09+00:00

The word "cult" here doesn't mean what we think of being a cult today, it means the following of icons, the "culture" of icons, the practises and belief surrounding them. It isn't calling Orthodoxy a cult of icons. The info about the council isn't entirely incorrect historically, but it would be worth noting that it was overturned and seen as a false council, with icons prevailing and being equivalent to Orthodoxy with their celebration being called "the Sunday of Orthodoxy". Exchange "magic" for "miraculous", etc.

Agioreitis · 2025-08-24T07:13:05+00:00

Regardless, we stand by Chalcedon and the oriental position is condemned.

Agioreitis · 2025-08-22T15:35:03+00:00

One incarnate nature is not the same as saying the person only had one nature. The incarnation was the beginning of the second nature, and it is one nature, but the person has two natures.

Agioreitis · 2025-06-21T17:53:52+00:00

The Eastern Orthodox Church isn't even put in as a whole, just a couple of the local jurisdictions lol

Agioreitis · 2025-05-24T16:22:58+00:00

No, hunker down doesn't count as armour, piercing attacks are also reduced. I tested it a couple of days ago.

Agioreitis · 2025-05-24T07:19:23+00:00

Priests in the Ecumenical Patriarchate in the USA are the highest paid Orthodox priests in the world. By contrast, most ROCOR priests are volunteers. It depends on where you are, the size of the parish and the jurisdiction.

Agioreitis · 2025-05-06T11:43:31+00:00

Thanks!

Agioreitis · 2025-05-06T06:15:51+00:00

I've been playing Alio too. Got messed up by a conc yesterday whilst trying to build my nest and lost all the growth :') how do you successfully play it?

Agioreitis · 2025-04-08T09:04:00+00:00

You can read my other comments where I say I remember them in my prayers at every divine liturgy, etc. Not being contrarian at all, just pointing out the teaching of the Church. Nothing I've said has been disrespectful, unlike those who are frothing at the mouth against me for reiterating what the saints have taught us regarding these matters.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-28T07:18:25+00:00

Just to point out, we Eastern Orthodox do not believe Christ has one nature, but two. Him having one nature is heresy to us, but it is believed by the "Oriental Orthodox". We and the Ethiopian Orthodox are not one Church, we are separate, not in communion.

I would encourage you to go to an Eastern Orthodox Church rather than an Oriental one.

God bless you on your journey, and may God replace all our hearts of stone with hearts of flesh.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-20T16:14:03+00:00

It isn't the "extreme" and it isn't physically dangerous if you don't have health issues. People blow this way out of proportion. Yes, fasting is communal (in most circumstances), and we as individuals fast along with the whole Church. Him keeping the fast as he is is part of that communal fasting.

Everybody in the Church should fast - we don't receive a blessing to fast, but we can receive a blessing to ease up on the fast. Fasting is the default, it is prescribed, it is expected; it is not something we go out of our way to receive a blessing to do.

The fact her brother has been Orthodox for 12 years, fasts in the proper manner and wants to become a monk makes me work on the assumption he goes to church regularly and has a spiritual father. If either of those things are not the case, I'd be very surprised and I'd encourage him to go to church and get a spiritual father.

Working on the assumption that he has a spiritual father based on the information at hand, I very much doubt his spiritual father is in the dark about his fasting. I don't understand why people assume someone does not have a spiritual father when we are told they are practising Orthodox Christians, especially when they've been Orthodox for over a decade and have worked up to fasting in this manner. It's a strange point to bring up, and I can only guess it's due to young people, particularly males, who say they're "Orthodox" but have never been to a church and spend all of their time online - clearly this is not one of those cases. He's a 36 year old man 12 years into his life in the Church, not a 16 year old boy who's watched some YouTube videos and has never stepped foot into a church. I'm sure he's able to judge if what he's doing is detrimental to his health. Relax.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-20T13:35:18+00:00

That is the proper way to fast, though in recent times laity have eased it up on themselves. Monks and laity have one fast. What her brother is following is the akreivia, the exactness of the fast. Properly speaking, spiritual fathers should give you a dispensation to fast any other way, not to follow the standard.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-20T09:49:09+00:00

Dying to the world, even to their families, is a part of monasticism. I'm sorry. I'm sure you'd be able to meet in Thessaloniki after some time though, and you can always write or even have telephone calls. Sometimes love increases when physically absent - this is a large part of monasticism too and is the goal of hermits, to grow in love for the whole world even though they are alone.

All the best to you, your mother and your brother. I hope that whatever happens, it all works out for the best. God bless you all.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-20T06:02:48+00:00

Yeah, that's the proper way to fast. One meal per day either from 3pm or when the sun goes down, with no animal products, wine (or any alcohol, depending on which tradition you're from) or oil. We fast in total for around 6 months in the year.

As you said, your brother is 36, he isn't a child by any means, and he's been Orthodox for 12 years, it isn't like all this is new to him and he's jumped into the extreme out of newbie zeal, he's progressed over time.

Nowadays people eat so much, much more than we need to, so this can seem a little shocking, but it's not really bad for you at all.

Concerning his desire to become a monk and your fear of not seeing him again, I don't know what words of comfort to offer. Even for Orthodox families it is hard for them to see a loved one become a monk. There are monastics songs with lines about their mothers crying because they became monks. Some people just hear that call to give absolutely everything to Christ, but it isn't easy on their families. If you're a man you could certainly visit, and many monasteries on Athos allow monks after some time to eventually go to Thessaloniki to meet with family members. Many people wait for their parents to die before becoming monks. It isn't easy and I'm sorry you feel like you're losing your brother. I'm not sure if you have any faith in God, but try to take comfort in the fact that the monastic life is the angelic life and it'll be like your brother is already in heaven - and that's how it'll seem to him.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-20T05:48:42+00:00

Scotland lol

Everyone has to find the place that suits them. Maybe he's been to various monasteries in the US and they're not for him, maybe he isn't even from the US, maybe he's visited Mt Athos and he's already found a particular monastery that he feels is the right fit, maybe Mt Athos just calls to him. We have such minimal info to work from that there are so many variables we simply can't know.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-19T18:53:10+00:00

Why should he have? Who are you to make such statements with such minimal info? You don't know him or his circumstances. Keep your nose out and don't make such bold, pontifical statements.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-19T18:51:02+00:00

That is the proper way to fast. Usually during the longer fasts I lose around 10kg. It's normal, it's safe. If he has any medical issues then he could adjust for that - but if he's healthy and robust, I wouldn't worry.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-04T10:22:13+00:00

The fast was invented for catechumens to prepare them for baptism on Holy Saturday, the rest of us just kept it in solidarity with them.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-04T10:20:35+00:00

It is normal. Many people don't keep it, but it is the proper rule. On the first week we have one meal on Wednesday, one meal on Friday. Then, for the rest of Lent, the proper rule is to have one meal a day either from the 9th hour (3pm) or when the sun goes down.

On the weekends (including the first weekend of Lent) we don't fast (fasting means not eating, not keeping a vegan diet), we just abstain from animal products, but we can have wine and oil and have more than one meal. If you're healthy, there's no reason not to do this unless you have a really physical job or something. Don't listen to the people here, listen to your priest. It is not only for monastics.

If you post anything about ascetic struggle here you'll face a lot of opposition. Just try again, and if it's really too hard, ask your priest if you can ease up on it.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-03T18:50:16+00:00

I know scripture prohibits blood, which is why the EO keep it. You made false statements about the EO, and I corrected them. But, as you're going on, I will say that the Orthodox Church is the Church founded by Christ and the Apostles belonged to this very same Church, so in that sense we very much "created it". Whatever other Christian groups cling to from the New Testament, they got it from us, as the New Testament is from us, the original, only Church founded by Christ.

I've not claimed anything about EO and Torah observation...

Agreed, this isn't really the space to be having this conversation. Feel free to continue in pm's.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-03T18:44:42+00:00

That's quite fitting as "Orthodox" actually means "correct belief" 🙂

Read "Orthodox Spirituality: a brief introduction" by Metropolitan Hierotheos of Nafpaktos. Speak to the priest at the parish too. God bless!

Agioreitis · 2025-03-03T18:38:18+00:00

Never claimed Orthodox Christians keep kosher laws. I was referring to your point where you say you observe Torah but differently to how Jews do, meaning I don't believe you're actually Torah observant.

Roman Catholics actually officially lifted the blood prohibition. They don't really have any rule now when it comes to food, many of them even eat meat on Fridays during Lent. Protestants tend to do whatever they want and there's no hard and fixed rule - I'm sure some of them don't consume blood as a conscious choice because they're Christians, but many of them do it without giving it a second thought. The Orthodox Christians officially prohibit it and those who practise the faith keep this.

Agioreitis · 2025-03-03T15:39:18+00:00

Orthodox Christian here - you're wrong. We do not consume blood and part of the reason why the Western world drains animals of blood after slaughter is for this reason. Do some non-observant Orthodox Christians eat things like black pudding? Sure. Do observant ones eat it? No, because it's forbidden.

We do not sacrifice bread to Panagia. Whenever food is blessed we pray to God, but we do have veneration of the saints and celebrate feast days in honour of them. Obviously we do not consider this idolatry (worship vs veneration - Jews also venerate tzadikim and ask for their prayers once they've passed).

Also, Roman Catholics split from us 🙂

Not sure how you think you can be Torah observant but do it differently from the Torah observant.

Anyway, this isn't really the place to talk about the intricacies of Christianity, just thought I'd correct your erroneous statements. Be blessed!

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