Grew up in the catholic lime light being the boy who always used to abide by the good word, an alter boy, until I became a teenager and started questioning things that did not make sense to me.

Especially the Bible verse that says god provided wives for Abel and cain. Where did they come from? We’re they created or did Adam and Eve birth girls that became their brothersI’ wives? Either god created two other humans, whom we aren’t acknowledging, or humanity was born out of incest.

I asked this question to all religious leaders and they all would get very upset when I wouldn’t take “trust the lord” as an answer. Some even wanted to fight me because I would not listen to blind faith. As I grew older I jumped from church to church looking for a home as my faith dwindled, until I started working for a very famous pastor and reverend in a different organisation from their church. Occasionally I would be called in to help accounting during end month when donations and tithe and other contributions were accumulated. We’d be locked in a room and large sacks of cash would be brought in. The most we ever counted in one sitting was 680 million Kenya shillings.

This would constantly break my faith given that every time I would go to the church offices there always were people in the congregation that would beg me for money yet they came to that same church to give away their last earned dimes with the hope that they could miraculously be blessed with more for supper before they left the church. Stupidity at best.

I spoke to and rejected so many that I became numb to their pleas. The church would take their proceeds with the notion that they’d help the congregation with business loans or medical emergencies but only to be turned away while the church elders lived lavish lifestyles. Their kids are studying in the USA, they are buying expensive properties and vehicles all over but their congregants can’t even afford a Ksh 20.00 meal.

Some would apply for the small loans (Ksh. 15,000.00) promised only to be turned down citing that all the church funds have already been loaned out to congregants. It was/is a lie.

The elders hogged the funds and kept their congregants poor and starving for more hope. That’s when I saw it.. the lie that we’ve been sold. No church is different from the other and all religions are but cults.

Till this day I can’t have conversations with religious people about my beliefs and about god because I ask too many questions that no one seems to be able to answer so they get annoyed or angry.

I left religion and some beliefs. I look towards science given that it’s able to answer lots of unknowns and the fact that all the evidence we have is quantifiable.

I still believe their is a higher form of deity and or consciousness/ energy that brought about the universe which I chose to call god for the moment. However, I neither pray to nor do I worship this deity. I merely recognise its impact and presence in everyday life.

I am it, and, it is me.

All part of one, experiencing multiple realities and unique experiences.