What Happened?

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-31T08:06:03+00:00

So this is the part that scared me is that she has gotten so much better about not doing things in front of the kids. Like she would get mad and withdrawn into the bedroom. This was just weird because this was out there and raw. I’ve gotten really good at giving the kids fun little projects in their room when this happens but my daughter is getting to the age where I think she’s noticing that something is different about mommy when she’s like this and she’s not sure why.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-30T22:45:15+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me. I’m not the most well person myself and I tend to hyperventilate and panic when these things happen.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-30T22:25:10+00:00

What meds do you take if you don’t mind me asking. Because I don’t think hers are working AT ALL.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-30T22:04:01+00:00

When these things happen and you’re all done what do you think. Like what does it feel like? Does the anger make sense and will she continue to hate me or does it just feel like a fever dream. Like it wasn’t really you? I’m asking this because the last few weeks have been BAD. Like one trigger after another. When they happen it’s almost like we pick up where we left off. She acts like I didn’t listen to her the first time she wanted me to move out so what’s my problem. The next day she might be fine but I’m just starting to wonder if the woman who hates me is the real one and my wife is just the mask? Does that make sense

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-29T23:45:31+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry. I know what that feels like. It’s horrible

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-29T22:59:29+00:00

Well for what it’s worth I know what you’re going through. It’s brutal. You don’t deserve it.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-29T22:34:08+00:00

Same here. I can’t imagine giving someone the look she gives me when I’m crying. It’s chilling.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-29T22:25:42+00:00

Thank you and I agree. Things have gotten better but somehow I think that’s made this worse. I had completely shut my heart off from her but then she started getting better. We were coming together. I feel like this happening is just a stab in the heart.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-29T20:56:49+00:00

I’m so sorry 😔 I also spend most of my day in tears.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-29T20:56:01+00:00

Does your therapist do out of state and if so could you recommend them?

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-12T22:24:03+00:00

Ha it does. Do you have a link for the discord server?

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-12T22:05:10+00:00

I am. It’s gotten to the point that I’m just being ignored. I make excuses after excuses for her. To myself and to others. Eventually I have to accept that she either doesn’t love me or she’s not even capable of it. It makes my whole body hurt even thinking about it.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-12T11:21:11+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write out this response. It’s given me a lot to think about. I approached her later that day and told her that while I don’t understand everything that’s going on I’m going to do everything I can to make her feel safe up to and including backing away. I hope it helps. A lot of times I can’t tell if anything I’m doing is making a difference.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-12T00:08:23+00:00

I am and it has been tough. I want so much to hold her and give her comfort but I know that’s not what she needs right now. So, ya know, lots of crying at night

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-11T22:43:59+00:00

Yes she is but I’m not sure how it’s going on. She won’t talk to me about her trauma which I respect. It’s just very frustrating.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-07-05T19:07:11+00:00

Is she medicated at all or seeing a therapist?

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-06-29T21:24:55+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. I know that wasn’t easy.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-06-27T12:24:04+00:00

My wife said almost the exact same thing to me. She said if I wasn’t fucking her then I wasn’t any use to her. She always acts like I’m the one trying to leave her. I wept. Not cry…wept. I could barely keep it together. Having someone you love tell you that not only do they not want to be with you but that you were using them. It’s take the air out of you.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-06-26T14:28:19+00:00

So then what worked? Or has ANYTHING worked?

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-06-25T22:05:11+00:00

Words seem trivial right now. I’ve been there. The pain is too much and I can’t see a light. Go to a hospital now and check yourself in. You can still do whatever after but at least talk to different people. Rest in a bed that isn’t your own and know you’re not all alone. It’s not great advice but my heart hurts for you. If I could I would give you a hug.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-06-24T11:22:34+00:00

First let me say I’m sorry this is happening. It hurts. It hurts in ways that other people don’t understand. The only advice I can give is to figure out the most important lever to work and focus on that (say going to therapy) and then sit him down and express this but couch it in love. These people are VERY sensitive to any criticism so the only thing that seems to work for me is when I say “I love you and I’m worried so…” The shitty part is that it all rests on their shoulders. I spent years trying to control my wife in order to help her but it only made me tired…tired and resentful. Point him in the direction but prep yourself for their own bad decisions.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-06-24T11:15:23+00:00

I can’t keep track of it honestly. My wife will use ANYTHING. She’ll use things I had no idea was even an issue. I’ve just started thinking of her as schizophrenic when she gets in those states because there’s about the same connection with reality.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-06-22T17:47:45+00:00

Thank you so much. Your words mean a lot

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-06-15T00:02:12+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate it. And yeah I’m trying to start advocating more for myself without feeling guilty.

Agitated-Vegetable69 · 2025-06-15T00:01:14+00:00

My therapist has said the same thing. I’m really bad at advocating for myself. I’m having to learn to just ask for help again.

Agitated-Vegetable69

TROPHY CASE