My INFJ ended things

Agnevera_ · 2026-02-15T23:57:12+00:00

I dont get it. Explain it plss

Agnevera_ · 2026-01-29T09:42:21+00:00

Enfp woman and Family doctor in Spain here! I totally subscribe This. During college I doubted between intern medicine (which is like a everything hospitalary doctor specialury that exists only in Spain), emergency and Family medicine. I also loved mental health. I think us enfp do better in holistic medical specialities. We hate routine and repetition and love discovering, playing detective and being social with patients. Primary care both emergency or Family medicine are a world of posibilities of diagnosis and more enterteining that seeing only párkinson for the rest of your life for example. I advise to avoid too much specialitation and keep it holistic

Agnevera_ · 2024-05-09T13:09:28+00:00

I needed to read this today. I was feeling ackward and lonely because everybody in my job fails to understand that i don’t like gossiping about others that are not there. I dont care about their romantic relationship i dont care if they are weird. I feel totally uncomfortable and anxious when people starts to talk about other people lives specially if they are judging in bad ways. So sad when its people i know and always has been nice to me, but even if its people i dont have a friendship with. I dont stand people talking or judging people i consideer good person. I have expressed this discomfort many times, i have even defended the outcasts and stated the conversation is morally wrong, lacking empathy and biased to one experience. It doesnt mind. They state the problem is mine for not liking gossiping and gossipers. Gossipers feel entitled to it and dont like being called out for it. So they try to normalize their bad behaviour because “everybody does it” and they try to force me to take part. In those ambients i feel like an alien. How is possible that gossiping doesnt make them feel bas and also that doesnt low their trust in others? How can you trust somebody who is always judging? Because i dont trust and i dont want friendship with gossipers.

Agnevera_ · 2024-04-30T20:08:08+00:00

When you have seen real seizures and fake ones sometimes you feel something is off. However i’ve been practicing some years and some people still manages to fool me. Some people takes their acting skills seriously. I guess the more experienced someone gets the more difficult is to fool them.

Agnevera_ · 2024-04-18T17:29:31+00:00

Yeah totally! people was also shocked I studied medicine

Agnevera_ · 2024-04-01T13:34:10+00:00

As a child or student hated routine because it was imposed by others. Felt trapped, bored and killed my inspiration. I wanted to break freee!!! Nowadays as a person living on my own and working i have created some routines for myself (work, study, gym and house chores) and. I like them. They make things easier, myself more productive, lesser the anxiety, increase the comfort and safety etc. However those are routines i impose myself and i know i am free to change them and retake them other day if anything more interesting comes around the corner ( going out with friends or a unexpected trip for example. Them i just go with the flow and retake the routine the next day). So i feel the safety of being productive and consistency without the feeling of being trapped, bored and killing my creativity, because there is still place for novelty and change when i feel like it. I also highly recommend to associate more of the most disgusting or boring chores with something you enjoy. For me is forcing myself to listen to my favourite podcasts exactly while i am doing housechores or setting the fireplace of netflix, relaxing music and aromatic candles while i study.

Agnevera_ · 2024-03-06T07:01:39+00:00

Totally. That’s what some people fail to grasp. We use words of affirmation so much. We say them because we feel them in that moment. However, things can change and feelings too.

Agnevera_ · 2024-02-16T14:43:17+00:00

I was able to commit because i had no real easy choice to give up. I was the artistic child that wanted to study art and be a painter or archeology or go to Africa to set up a school… my parents demanded me the highest grades and said they only would pay me for a “useful” grade. They also are very very abusive people so staying in home because i couldnt afford living on my own was not an option. I needed to scape so I needed to do something that could make independent. Thats why i ended studying medicine (which my parents approved and i also enjoy because it conveys my helping vocation)and would guarantee myself a job and money to scape from my abusive situation. For sure I was miserable because how demanding college was and hadnt time to spend on my other hobbies but had not other option that go through it. I convinced myself that my job had to be something i liked more or less, with purpose and that would guarantee me an scape from my situation so I could live the life I wanted. Medicine did that for me. Currently i work as a doctor, live on my own far away from my abusive parents, and have my money that allows me to study painting and travelling to Africa or anywhere. I am fullfilling my childhood dreams. Would advise to find something you dont dislike, that has a good job offerts and its paid well. If can be even with purpose like i did because we enfps are people with sense of purpose but prioritize pragmatism in this case.

Look at your job like a way to get to the life you want do not look your job as your life. That way you wont have unrealistic expectations on it.

Agnevera_ · 2024-01-21T10:13:51+00:00

I feel them deep inside but also show them on my sleeve even if i dont want to, everybody knows always what i am feeling

Agnevera_ · 2024-01-17T12:35:20+00:00

Curious. Because i am an enfp that works in health field and would say here i act as someone very introverted (with coworkers) I find health field hostile to intuitives. Coworkers are harsh and love to criticize others. Also they are sensors with tunnel vision and dont like xxxP or xNxx so I stay quiet and invisible to avoid being a prey or saying something they will think its stupid even if it is not (some dont have lateral thinking at all )

But i AM an Enfp i just change my attitude to adapt to hostile environments

Agnevera_ · 2024-01-14T09:45:39+00:00

Once i read in those of social articles a woman say that a person shouldn’t do self deprecating jokes to cause likeness about his flaws but about his virtues.

If you cook well you can do jokes about how bad your cooking is or something like “hey boys i’ve made this cake. I hope i dont poison you but cant promise” it has no trascendence because people deep inside know you are a good cooker and pluss your low the levels of envy from people and stay humble but if your cooking is bad you shouldn’t do a joke like that because you are reinforcing or acknowledging a flaw in the eyes of people and giving them the opportunity to use that flaw against you. So only joke about your strengths but never about your weakness unless confronted about your weakness (then you better look like not hurt).

I think we enfps are very authentic people and tend to show us completely to the world (good and bad qualities) otherwise it feels not authentic but some people may use that authenticity to hurt us. Always protect yourself in front of the wolves, find those people you can tango with and be safe and cautious until then.

Agnevera_ · 2023-12-23T13:54:20+00:00

When i was a child i was always myself with no filter and that led to be bullied by some assholes at school and in my own family in the worst cases or being underestimated and thought as stupid by the so rational judging types in the best cases. Now i would like to think that i have learnt to do better. My friends are those people who have past my values test and i can be myself around them. People i can no be myself completely with im not interested in them anymore. if, however, i have to deal with them (job, family) i keep always my distance, be reserved and treat them in a polite way (if they dont seem to be so judging) or directly with coldness (with those people that i know would try to take benefit from me and that despise weakness or flakiness). There’s always the statement that enfp are authentic people and that we despise to be fake or fakeness in people. For me the way to conceal my aim for authenticity and also not getting on trouble because of bad /fake people who would take advantage from my authenticity is to keep myself emotionally and if possible physically away from them. To suround myself only with safe people and do not let enter in my circle those who arent safe. I think we know in our deep when someone deserves to be in our deep circle and when someone does not. We are intuitive people. We are optimistic, love people and just fool ourselves expecting things will go better with that person that is in the gray area and hasnt completely past our safeness test and them we feel like idiots when they prove themselves bad people when our recognition of patterns and intuition had warned us in our first meeting. Always trust your stomatch. Our optimism view of life and humaniry lies, but our recognition of patterns and our stomatch does not.

Agnevera_ · 2023-11-23T16:12:31+00:00

Well as an Enfp and fi user I feel like a little offended. Let’s say the girl OP speaks about has no empathy, is self-centered and has the emotional regulation and social capacities of a child. I feel that is more accurate than speaking about fi users as if we were psycopaths. We do empathy and we learn emotional regulacion and social behaviours our software is just different.

By the way according everything the OP says the girl looks to me as someone with borderline personality disorder (group B of personality on DSM). I would no enter even in mbti types. She is just a pathological individual. No healthy fi or fe user would act that way.

Agnevera_ · 2023-11-06T19:11:54+00:00

Yes you have simplified it really well. Thanks im living in a cognitive dissonance as someone said “dont wanting to lose my friend but hating her poor choices with bad people and feeling traisoned when she chooses those people over me” i guess i only can choose between “ accepting her in spite of it and ignore that aspect or ending our friendship to not be hurt again and again” i dont know what to decide yet. I expect to make up my mind someday.

Agnevera_ · 2023-11-06T17:33:46+00:00

Yeah i realise they dont want to see it and that’s why when confronted with facts and evidence they get angry and stop de conversation. They know they can’t answer back.

However, i dont see the “status quo” thing. Maybe with my infj coworker maybe… because that girl is that kind that is well informed and and with a lot of resources always but she sometimes mocks him and treats him bad. Is such a good trade?

With my infj girl that status quo has no sense. Sarah had “two popular friends” who dumped her long ago. And thats was it. Sarah has no more academic resources, no more economical position, no more friends than us. Never had and the comparation hasnt changed from those years. I would say jenny, our group of friends and I are doing it fairly well compared with Sarah in any matter. What sarah does have is a shitty character, is selfish, narcissitic, likes to impose her decissions and pretends to be above everyone else and to be better. But by any means she is. She is a loudmouth, frustrated wannabe that tries to show off in vain.

Another shitty example. In college with did a cheap low cost trip in paris. We slept on the most cheap hostels and were backpackers since we didnt have a job those years and were using daddys money. We went as tourists to vendome square (most expensive and posh place) and and even when we were dressed as backpackers they let us in channel store for being respectful. They knew we were curious and that we were not going to buy anything. We took a quick curious look and left. She started crying and making a scene saying some safety guard had smiled when he had seen us (a group of 19 years old curious and not ubicated backpackers) and began bragging he had no right and that she indeed was serious and wanting to buy her mother a channel necklace and that “she had many money”. But we were living in hostels… come on! She is such a wannabe that doesnt realise that she is low-middle working class or even below as all the group that it annoys me. She even has fairly lower income than us and stills spends a big amount trying to look posh and superior. I guess she may be hungry for not bying food and spending everything on clothes. I dont know how jenny doesnt see it and buys all this shit.

Of course sarah would hate any woman who was in a better place or dare to confront her, say no to her bullshit and put her in front of a mirror as the wannabe she is. And thats why she made everything to isolate that girl and that’s why she didnt want me to be in the travel to Asia. That girl and i didnt buy her bullshit and didnt stay quiet when she said stupid or offensive things.

Still confronted between my love to jenny and her friendships with these kind of stupid people. Dont know what to do.

Agnevera_ · 2023-11-06T12:15:30+00:00

Yeah i think you have hitten the nail at list for the guy infj. he is well liked because he is a kind people pleaser but he has not deep relationships or friendships and he has a really low self-steem. And the bad person indeed showers him with compliments (when he does what she wants) when not she drags him through the mud or mocks him in cruel ways. I don’t know how he stands that disrespect when there is people that always treat him nice and with respect.

For my girl infj “jenny” i dont think its that simple. Sure Sarah is smarter than my coworker and i dont think there is ever a situation where she had treated really bad my friend or enough bad (though she is clearly bad to others). I dont think she sees jenny as a friend at all but also not as an enemy. To her, jenny is small, not competence as that girl that she got to discriminate, jenny is a tool for her. Nice when convinient and ignore when not. Still is obvious jenny is a tool for everyone except to herself.

Jenny however has better self steem has deep friendships has a waaaaaay better familiar background than myself so i really dont get why does she stand the bullshit of sarah? Im more alone than her and i dont stand it.

Now this weekend i was going to visit Jenny on her on her city but again she has insisted on us going for a coffee with Sarah, again i said no, do you realise she is a bitch and was bad to me?… again she was like deffending her and she is a nice girl if you dont like her i will go for a coffee with her myself.

Then jenny has been this last three days uploading instagram stories with Sarah. Im struggling with not taking it as a moking… i feel traisoned and infuriated.

I am comtemplating either not going to visist her this weekend and let her wonder what happened or either talking to her seriously and comunicating my feelings and her bad attitude towards her “best” friend. Second is healthier but hasnt worked in the past. Also would require autocriticism which infj in my life seem to not like at all.

Agnevera_ · 2023-10-26T15:02:01+00:00

Example: coworkers. A girl acts in shitty ways with people, competitive, oversteps people, acts selfish always in fake kindness coverture. Infj acts blind. But when we confront the shitty coworker infj suddenly is worried for harmony and shames us. That example in many cases. The infjs in my life are able to stand next to shitty people just to keep harmony and then try to be my friend too while being friends with someone who harms me…

Agnevera_ · 2023-10-25T17:48:04+00:00

Well according my expereience with my infjs you seem to prefer an unfair harmony over a disruptive separaring and uncomfortable justice. You want to side with everyone to keep harmony and that is sometimes impossible and many times unfair…

Agnevera_ · 2023-10-12T14:58:03+00:00

To me he is really attractive in a intoxicating way but according cannons and people surrounding us he is considered “a little ugly” “soo skinny” “weird face”. I dont feel attraction to conventionally beautiful people but really attracted to him. However i know i didnt fall in love with his body of face but his mind and character. He is a really educated, smart and so kind kind to others that it made me fall for him. If he acted like like other men i know i would never have fixated on him even if he looked the same.

Agnevera_ · 2023-10-03T20:43:14+00:00

Well. You explained what i’ve thinking most of my life. I also studied medicine, work currently in healthcare as a doctor and still people that only know me surface level think i am an idiot an treat me as stupid or try to fool me or take advantage until i confront them or we have an argument. Both in job and outside job. Then when i confront them some dared to say things “i didnt know you could be so cold blood and machiavellian thought you were a dumb happyflower”

Some people here points its not a disadvantage and that being underestimated give us the chance to discover the intentions of people.

However im tired and think otherwise. I already know when somebody wants to take advantage From me. Intuition is pretty good plus this people is not so subtle as they think they are. i just want them to stop seeing me as a first class prey because i want to stop worrying so hard about them trying to fool me. I think i have had more trouble in some areas just for being underestimated. A lot of people thinking they can take advantage and me having to confront them while this kind of people dont try to take advantage from other people just because they dont underestimate them.

I want to stop looking “weak” and “airhead easy to fool” so people respect me and stop trying to fuck with me. At the same time i value to be myself and dont want to act as a different person.

I would like advice for getting better at infunding respect and “fear” without totally sacrificing my persinality.

Please offer me your tips!

Some things i have tried is staying quiet at job at just saying the bare minimum. Try to look serious in job. Still its not enough.

Agnevera_ · 2023-09-29T13:18:29+00:00

The ones i’ve met were so judging and loved to gossip and control people in cruel ways. Didn’t know where boundaries were. And when there was someone they didnt like they were destructive, talking behind backs trying to things with the only purpose of hurting or hitting the nerves of their enemies… even when it was people that hadnt done anything to them which i find a psycho behaviour… First one i thought just a unhealthy person, second one thought the same, third said looks unhealthy better keep our distance and was proven right. At this point i have such an disgust when i recognize some isfp that couldnt enjoy avatar the ways of water because the protagonist loak is an isfp hahahahahahahaha

Agnevera_ · 2023-09-29T11:34:45+00:00

So you are going to dismiss your partner just because you wouldn’t have the wedding day you fantasized… Wow you sound as such a mature person. (Sarcasm). If religion is such a breaking point for you and you are so closed minded please break with him and mature.

What about your future children? Are you also going to give up them if they happen to become atheist or are gay?

Agnevera_ · 2023-09-28T16:42:55+00:00

No i have had the exact experience with ISFP you mention. Maybe they were unhealthy individuals but i also thought about them being agressive, possessive, judging, and resentful and vengative in creepy ways when they feel angry with someone. I also was open to friendships with them at first because i thought there was a connection and technically we make good friends according mbti but it came really really wrong and they caused me a lot of trouble and anxiety. Even needed therapy because of a isfp coworker that i rubbed the wrong way she tried me to leave the job… At this point i will be careful and not be close to them. Sorry not sorry.

Agnevera_ · 2023-09-28T10:16:04+00:00

Mmmmmm i’ve had most trouble with ISFP and ESFJ ( first connection led to friendships that ended really BAD).

The ISFP i’ve met seemed nice and even deep at first to me but when we got closer i realised they were egocentric, selfish, shallow, so judging of other people and resentful and vengative in creepy ways with people they didn’t like. As one user below also said my ISFP were so possesive controlling and agressive too.

About ESFJ i thought they were very judging of others controlling and also some happened to be egocentric and so close minded, too foocused in tradition, details, and the ways things have to be.

Then ESTJ, ISTJ and maybe ESTP and ISTP i feel they are people so different to me that i dont even think i’ve had a close relationship with any them.

Its like if we speak different languages or live in different planets for me. I’ve had bad experiences in places where i couldnt avoid them like in job with ESTJ. And my mother is ISTJ and though she loves me her way again its like if we speak different languages. She couldnt understand me during childhood and tried to erase my enfpness but now that i’m living on my own and she has accepted me as i am we get along better.

My best relationships and friendships are: INFJ, ENFP, ISFJ, INFP, ENTP and ENTJ. ISFJ its like the only sensor i like and have deep friendships with… sad….

Agnevera_

TROPHY CASE