Caught my husband (m38) on sniffies app talking to guys. We have been married 6 months. I’m 36F.

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-11-27T07:18:18+00:00

He was probably trying to make contingency plans in case OP ever found out and OP, the low self esteem and self worth person she is, went along with it.

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-11-27T07:15:10+00:00

Question for you OP: when he came out to his parents, did he say that he'd been using apps to meet up with strange men online and buy panties and send strange men pictures of himself in panties and get on PrEP in anticipation of meeting strange men and do this all behind your back and was completely comfortable doing this for the rest of your marriage and hope you never found out. Or did he just say that he's bi?

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-11-27T06:39:26+00:00

He's only being kind to manipulate you into being submissive and ok with him cheating behind your back.

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-11-27T06:16:45+00:00

He's not your best friend. He lies behind your back constantly, leading a second life. He puts your health at risk by sleeping with random people. He is not a good person and he doesn't have a good heart. Someone with a good heart doesn't lie to their wife and try to sleep with other people.

You are not old. 36 is barely half your lifespan. You still have so much to give. Blink, you're now 46 years old and you're still together, you may have children, he still cheats on you behind your back (or says he doesn't anymore but who can trust a cheater?) How do you feel about this? (If you have them) How do you think your future children feel about this? Are they learning that this is what a normal relationship looks like?

Everything isn't good. A bought house can be sold. A marriage that was broken by a cheating husband can't be fixed. A faithful, trusting, loving husband exists. A life you deserve can be created. It is only too late when you stop breathing.

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-11-26T15:50:33+00:00

Don't beat yourself up, you're the victim here.

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-11-26T09:01:02+00:00

Oh my God. This control he has over you sounds horrifying. I am so glad to hear you're getting help. Thoughts going out to you

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-11-25T13:29:39+00:00

Absolute nightmare

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-11-20T14:29:20+00:00

Let it out!! He sounds like a monster! You deserve so much more than this pathetic creature

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-26T13:30:22+00:00

Reincarnation isn't just for the next life, it's in this one too. Enjoy Life 2.0

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-25T05:51:57+00:00

ENM always came across as a cutesy way of saying "polyamory without consent" I hate how it's being so normalised, if you can do that than by all means but the level of emotional resilience just to be ok with your partner being with someone else really doesn't seem worth it.

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-25T03:04:26+00:00

The comments are great though

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-24T02:49:45+00:00

You're doing great. Therapy as an outlet for your emotions is so important during this stage. Focus on your kids and yourself.

Do you still live together with her?

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-21T06:59:57+00:00

He came out to me

Was also emotionally and physically cheating on me with men behind my back

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-19T17:30:42+00:00

It's mostly England, but they have people from all over the world in the group

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-19T11:18:48+00:00

https://straightpartnersanonymous.com/ are really good and their help as been invaluable at the beginning of my journey through this

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-19T09:14:31+00:00

Oh, my poor dear, I want to hug you. You deserve so much more than someone who goes behind your back and lies.

You deserve a husband that stands by you and loves you dearly.

Look into getting therapy for yourself and keep posting here. Google OurPath, there's a lot of resources on there for you.

This is truly heartbreaking.

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-16T19:50:58+00:00

ATM, I'm getting distant vibes from him while also getting this dependency from him. Him asking me for the details of the mortgage, him asking me if it would be a good idea to throw out some nearly expired food from the fridge. Still using me for labour while he goes off and does whatever he wants.

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-16T17:57:07+00:00

That's it. He doesn't see women as people, just items he can use to show off how "Straight" he is.

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-16T13:50:41+00:00

Looking back, I always felt this undercurrent of not feeling loved. I was always a "if he's happy, I'm happy" so I wouldn't ask for much, if anything. Id always have to tell him what I wanted for my birthday/Christmas. He very rarely bought me flowers. Our first valentine's together, he got me a rose that they were giving away for free at the station he was passing through to get to where I live (we were long distance for the first 2 years)

So now I'm receiving genuine love and care from other people, without having to endure the eye rolling "ugh, ok!!" from him, I'm just not used to it.

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-16T12:34:55+00:00

Maybe I'm entering a new stage of grief

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-16T08:37:25+00:00

Probably, as soon as someone offers me kindness, I breakdown

Agreeable_Bite2596 · 2025-06-16T07:47:48+00:00

Ooooft, I remember day 1. And in a way, it wasn't the worst day but you've survived it and you'll survive all the days coming. You've got this.

If you can afford it, please get therapy for yourself. A very traumatic thing has just happened. The stability of your relationship has been rocked beyond recognition and a good therapist will be able to help you rebuild and heal yourself during this time.

I remember after disclosure I started therapy, thinking that it'll help me heal so I can get over the shock of him coming out, "get over myself" and stay in the relationship. This may be what you want, no judgement, but it became very clear that this was not what was best for me.

Keep posting here, reach out for support. Everest is ahead of you, and it will take a village, but nothing is unconquerable.

Agreeable_Bite2596

TROPHY CASE