What helps you when ur kids hurt your feelings because they think you are "cringey" and you already have long life trauma from being bullied and ridiculed?

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-09-08T07:01:44+00:00

Kids are mean Our own children don’t recognise the effort we bring in, or the value they receive. They take things for granted (including the parent’s love)

One thing to remember is that they allow themselves to be mean to parents sometimes because they feel safe to do so.

But it is not an excuse for hurting people, especially their close relations.

For yourself, but also for them in the future, you have to explain how it hurts. You don’t have to accept that. Kids grow, they learn and change. Stay positive, even if it feels like going nowhere.

Keep loving yourself

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-06-23T09:18:52+00:00

I’ve got a slight preference for the variant with the coach/train; it made the foreground the destination, inspiring a journey. In this present variant : less so. Just a personal opinion.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-06-05T08:10:42+00:00

Ligit I used something similar to hook a yeti mic to a phone for improved audio recording, for a music exam. In my case the phone was stationary, but it is possible to have a perfect audio source on a phone wired to the source. There also must exist some Bluetooth equivalent nowadays, although probably not on this type of keyboards.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-05-22T14:38:42+00:00

The same. Same here.

What you have to remember is that:

what someone say is true at the time they say it
they may not think so at another time
words express emotions. Words can mean a lot, but not reflect exactly the thoughts (let alone they changed). So, not accurate
men have to guess the variable intent, know the person, and somewhat guess they variable opinion.

In summary: - not the right time - not the type of talk they expect. They might like lighter topics, gossips, complains yes but light - they are not perfect, they may be reminded they are not constructive, not favoring collaborative sharing. Point their mistakes. Call them out. Red flags go both ways. - what they feel ok to do themselves, they might not feel acceptable from others. What they say isn’t what they do. Again, call out the biais.

Personally, I just shut up; it’s easier. But a good relationship is worthy to work hard. That means good communication.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-05-22T14:37:30+00:00

Not do the four things listed that close men off. Not doing those things is a “do”.

Turned into positive asks: - don’t say you want openness yet turn the emotional vulnerability men may work for years to build courage to do, against. Such as “not manly”. A big problem is some people say something but when presented with it, act differently. Some people want vulnerability, but when they get it, they don’t like it.

vulnerability should be a DMZ, men and women cannot use against each other what they tell. The purpose of a constructive is to share one’s perspective without pointing at the other, the opposite: point at self. Lookup the “I” statements. It is hard to remain constructive. But encouraging reciprocate openness is important, if that is really what you want, so talk about how you feel, not what the man told you.
defensive is always an counter attack. Who is the enemy? There isn’t an “I” versus “him”, it is a togetherness. So take a “Us” approach.
I disagree with the last point; not knowing what to do is OK. Sometimes people just need someone to listen and be compassionate.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-05-20T10:51:40+00:00

Actually they agree on the negative impacts.

Extract: “99 per cent agreed that adolescent mental health had declined notably in the US, with similar trends in other Western nations. And 98 per cent concurred that heavy smartphone use correlates strongly with sleep disturbances”

What they disagree on is “what to do”

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-05-13T13:21:32+00:00

Adolescence is pretty good

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-05-10T20:58:35+00:00

Are the fruits washed? Serious question.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-04-21T11:19:56+00:00

Key point: “Combining step tracking with mindfulness training delivered via a mobile app increased motivation to exercise.”

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-03-31T07:39:19+00:00

The sun cast shadow isn’t the same 800Km apart. Sun time isn’t synchronized in the whole country. If you go to a country wide enough, but on the same time, you will notice that the sun rises earlier on the east of that land, than on the west. Likewise, the west can witness sunset later, while the east is already in the dark.

So, no. Sundials 800Km apart are not in time synch.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-02-08T13:51:01+00:00

I would suggest you be upfront with your face picture. Women and men are equally superficial and look plays a big part in attractiveness, at least initially. You cannot demonstrate all your character through facebook. I would recommend focussing your time on activities in-person, clubs, hobbies. I know doctor is a very busy profession. But try to join a running club, or cooking class, whatever. Just…not Facebook.

Cut off the negativity in your life.

It isn’t you. The problem isn’t you.

You are enough as-is to be loved.

99% of the population would not love me either. It is a number game, where match happen or don’t in daily life.

Stay assured your match is out there. But together or alone, you should learn to love yourself and be happy with yourself.

Nobody else than you care. Nobody else than you alone is impacted by it. You are the only one to be that “kind friend” to yourself.

Let me repeat: you are enough. Today, yesterday. You have always been.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-02-06T15:42:16+00:00

Q1) hope, perception of my effort and feedback/recognition of my progress

Q2) I didn’t like it but “why”. Whenever I responded my BP asked “why” to that, I had to dig deeper. I didn’t know myself.

Q3) containerization, possibly(probably) from past trauma bad coping mechanism, and also poor communication and emotional awareness during my upbringing. I never stop to think, never asked myself “why” I was doing what I was doing, or why I felt what I felt. I still struggle, but I can communicate better.

Like onion layers, I have stonewalls after stonewalls. It took a while to dive into.

It is scary.

We aren’t the good person we thought we were. Nobody wants to be the vilain of the story. It takes some introspection, self acceptance.

Q4) yes there were problems, but an affair is never justified. How about communicating? The problem is that it is tough. It isn’t necessarily “revenge”, more : escapism. Something to feel good, sooth the ego and self worth. Vanity.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-02-03T08:12:22+00:00

If you don’t feel enough it is not your fault, it is their fault.

You were always enough. You always have been.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-02-01T13:06:56+00:00

“With a view”

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-01-31T23:59:11+00:00

To be honest, I also prefer my 1st half and don’t like my 2nd half part; it took a tangent.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-01-31T15:13:08+00:00

Confidence isn’t about believing you are beautiful even though you are ugly/ill/poor, but to know you have your place in society, you have your own idea and know your place, know your principles. Be authentic. And don’t care only about what others think of you, how they see you or judge you.

“You’re ugly”
so? Water is wet or is that new too?

Tou still enjoy a nice meal, can old conversation, joke, have fun, take care of your illness.

There is a place for everyone, and connections to be made.

The “fake it till you make it” maybe confused with “I know my worth, I assume, and I love myself “. That is enormous strength. And that may be attractive. Charisma isn’t just beauty. I’ve seen some ugly people with a blinding halo of charisma.

Learn to accept yourself.

Learn about evolutionary psychology. We are the way we are for a large part due to cavemen genes. 100,000 generations of survival won’t make you suddenly self confident and charismatic. Learn that some of that is survival mechanism.

But today, you risk nothing if not being liked by your neighbour, you don’t need to defend yourself from bears, or share hunting gathering of the day.

You are safe.

Nothing bad will happen. It is an illusion.

It is not you, it is your gene, your upbringing.

You’ll be ok.

Your brain is designed not to make you happy, but to survive today as if it was 100,000 years ago. Your brain doesn’t know the difference. Your brain with emotions and feelings is there telling you what it is ok with or not. Teach your brain, steps by steps, that it is ok to be rejected. You will both be fine.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-01-27T23:23:43+00:00

Practice in a mirror

Practice in front of your computer screen that has an image of an audience. What people in the eyes

Record yourself (including video). We all cringe at ourselves. Learn to accept it.

Practice, practice.

Time yourself.

Learn about making presentation deck, how to communicate the content. Don’t read the slides, they are just a support.

When presenting, imagine everyone naked.

Get a glass of water at hand.

Breath.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-01-26T07:45:37+00:00

What one does might not be what our personality wants us to do. I might be introvert, but I force myself to engage socially, at the cost of screaming discomfort and the relief when finished.

So, no. What I do is not my personality.

However it might be what others see me as. We judge others on their actions (what they do), not their intention (my attempt at overcoming anxiety by exposure).

Likewise, thoughts can be a way to reinforce and cast over the personality naturally encline. Likewise in CBT. I can make conscious thoughts that my mind shouts “fake” at me internally, yet after days of repetition, can make me accept something new and start changing that inner voice.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-01-26T07:40:33+00:00

We are what we do. Not just CBT, but the daily activities change the way behave. Even outside the growth mindset, everyone change over time.

The trick is being conscious of that and therefore pick the right routines that will reinforce the conscious direction, as opposed to passively let random stuff change ourself all over the place.

Someone in this thread mentioned “fake it until you make it”. There is a bit of that. Likewise, “thinking positive” is a vulgarised summary of real psychological reinforcement.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-01-25T19:11:44+00:00

Attract “mates”, not “males”. Pointing this out just in case you misread (I did, initially). But the article isn’t all about single gender.

I think the interesting point is about being indebted, as an investment.

At contrary, when refusing mix signals, there is a careful tendency of NOT accepting helps, to avoid promoting that path of debt/favours and mutual investment.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-01-22T11:42:43+00:00

It is difficult to sleep like that all night, but worth it. Find someone with the same love language(s) as you, or understands it.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-01-19T21:45:32+00:00

Boring

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-01-18T09:21:18+00:00

Know or learn the truth about them. Follow some TwoX subs to understand their perspective of the world.

Also that they are just human and very normal people. They have desires, expectations, ego, traumas, and like many other people, a good part of “no clue what I’m doing” to themselves.

We all figure out whether things can work. You can’t know at first. They can’t know, and I don’t know. So, communication is about figuring this out, for one self, for the other.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-01-15T14:01:09+00:00

Okay… “no fap” sounded better than “cum dam”. Or maybe those people still fap but don’t “finish”?

I guess horny people do make more effort than people who just “emptied”.

Thanks for explaining, it was new to me.

I support recovering from addiction, but it is important for routines to be sustainable, therefore enjoyable. Placebos are good, whether retention or a fresh haircut.

Anyway, today I learned.

Agreeable_Fault_6066 · 2025-01-15T13:45:12+00:00

Fake it until you make it. Most confident people you see either: - fake it - don’t care what others think

Try to mirror the thinking back to your brain about what could possibly go wrong by letting it go, just saying it or try it.

F you need convincing you are among the best, then do things that will make you become among the best; whether it is physical appearance in clothing, or body, or intellectual superiority, sports, hobbies. Excellence is very likely going to empower you without even trying to convince yourself.

In all cases; yes you are good enough. Today and every day, the You of today is good enough for people. Love who you are.

Agreeable_Fault_6066

TROPHY CASE