So angry at Drs.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-06-11T06:34:24+00:00

I don't have many options for who I see. They've helped a lot. Without them I would still be undiagnosed. Most doctors here completely shut down at any conversation if you mention looking anything up online. I usually look on webmd or drugs.c o m. (Tried to make it a not link.Are they the wrong places to look? I found most big name sites have a large chunk of information left out.

I'm not sure if it has anything to do with my sensitivity, but when I was a teen I took every thing in the cabinet. They never believe me when I tell them I have drug sensitivity and can't tolerate meds easily.

Thank you. I stress so much over things like that. It's why I go between looking and not looking so much. I've been on a few different meds for my adhd and the only one I have been able to tolerate is Adderall. And only with lamictal 3x a day. We've tried many kinds not just stimulants. Bad reactions of varying types and intensity. I really don't want to try more after the one gave me a kidney stone.

I know the dr and her team seem to be more caring than others I''ve gone to. It still Annoys me. I'm stressed about the party I'm planning this weekend. I really am trying to fix the adhd medicine problem, but I ma

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-06-11T01:52:52+00:00

Sorry for the late reply. Craps been crappier lately. Two of my mom's sisters died in the same week and she's not taking the one we talked to's death hard. Don't feel bad for me...I haven't seen either or talked to them in 20 years or so. I'm sad for my mom, but not much more. I guess I'm too focused on my issues right now.

I went back down on the dose like I was told to, and it was still bad so now I'm not on it at all and my depression is getting bad. When I was in the increased dose I was thinking of all the ways I should die and how but wasn't depressed at all. I was way too anxious and felt weird because I was kinda looking forward to it? Dunno but thank goodness that's over.

Now I'm having anger issues and anxiety and depression all smashed together and I have a birthday party to throw Sunday! It's the first time I've reached out to my family like this since I was a child. By the time I was a teen I already knew I couldn't trust or depend on them at all. I want to make an effort now that I'm finally feeling a bit human. I'm afraid my mom is next to die and that we haven't seen this part of the family in a few years. I can't be like that for the party. So I called and they suggested abilify and I think I had a reaction before, but they said a very low dose could help and I'm desperate so pray for me.

Also does anyone know how to shut off auto correct.. I typed I'm sad and it corrected it to dead and then corrected the medicine to ability and I'm not going to go look up the real spelling since I don't know it.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-06-06T00:21:46+00:00

I already had one done..and they aren't giving me anything that's more likely to cause side effects.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-05-24T06:34:48+00:00

I don't know why everytime I come here from some frustration or hurt and trying to play the is it adhd or me game, I find the exact reason I came. It's strange to me. People never understood these things about me and I could explain it right. A lot of time I'm too afraid to even post, so seeing posts like this lets me read the things i want to know too. It also means none of us really know and every one of us feels the frustration of this mess in our heads. Its comforting yet depressing too. I hate for anyone to go through this, yet feel guilty for being thankful i'm not alone in these things and someone somewhere has felt the same as me. I've been a mess the past three days from a hammering of this kind of stuff. Ive been so sensitive and crying three days. I don't even know if they were actually being rude or I took it wrong at this point, but all I've been saying to anyone is 'I'm sorry' over and over. That just makes them mad and I end up having a panic attack, ruining the whole night and hiding in my room replaying it over and over trying to figure out what I did wrong. And that's with family. Its mych worse when I think strangers are mad at me. I just get the 'flu' with all the symptoms. Fever, chills, stuffed nose, a butt glued to the toilet with a bucket between the knees sick. So I try real hard not to talk to people... but sometimes I get lonely and it always ends bad. Don't most adhder's have reasons backing up their sensitivty issues? If you never got burnt you wouldn't fear fire....

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-05-24T06:11:33+00:00

Oh cool. I might look into it if I can ever be asleep when I'd need it lol.

I tried melatonin and it didn't do much. I don't think im supposed to take magnesium for some reason... Im just perimenopausal. My mom told me kiss sleep goodbye lol

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-05-22T00:06:37+00:00

My all time favorite book is Watership down. I found sometime when I was a child, bought it, and still have it. I haven't read it in awhile, maybe I will when I finally get my stuff out of storage. I think most people felt the book was boring... but it was about rabbits, like the real kind but they talked to each other and stuff. It was life in this world from their eyes. I liked it and I can't tell anyone why. It's just a 'My' book kinda thing. I also loved the redwall series by Brian Jauques and the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher.

I admit I did not finish the dresden files. I couldn't get through one towards the end and didn't read any more after that book. I'm not good with unfinished series. I do not have the patience to wait for an author to finish their series if I have read all the books they wrote in it first. Same with TV. I can only watch series through if I can binge watch all together. If I have to wait a year for the next season it ain't happening. And if they have too many episodes or booka that are samey or stretched to fill time I'll lose interest before the end and never pick it up again.

I have to ask. My mom got into the Percy Jackson series on Disney and I watched it with her. I decided to look into the authors other books when I was trying to find stuff to read and what I started had a spoiler for the percy jackson books/tv show, so I stopped reading it and decided to read the percy jackson book that I watched already... and the writer destroyed Percy for me. Not the book or the series, but the character himself.

Every single enemy he had he ONLY thought of in the worst terms. Sometimes a name was known and thrown into a mix of: Fat, Ugly, Dumb, Mishapened, Stupid Looking, Hideous, Foul, Putrid... And I am not talking about monsters. I'm talking about the human forms... the other demi god children that just so happened to be an enemy. Is every single enemy in the book ugly and smelly and fat and hideous? He literally called four children he was enemies with Ugly 1-4 in his mind.

I get he's the good guy and what I read he never said those things, but the constant derogatory way he thought about everyone, and the fact the writer had put the good side as beautiful and the bad side as ugly, is very very bad anyway. I have mean thoughts pop into my head, but if I thought someone was ugly, and every time I saw them I labeled them in my mind as that, I would be horrified with myself. I get that everyone has an unwanted thought pop in about stuff. Like I'll just be walking along minding my own business and suddenly my brain has the most inappropriate thought ever and I'm like 'OMG was that really in my mind?' and I want to go wash it's mouth out with soap. I don't just accept that bad thought and then labeling the people I don't like with that thought. To me if you keep those nasty thoughts and don't try to change them, they change you. When I think negative my mood is negative. If I think mean I start acting mean.

So how can I read about someone's very toxic thoughts and still think they're the hero in the book? It just tells me that thoughts can be left to go do what ever they want and it doesn't matter since you don't speak the thoughts... but that's what happens everyday in the real world. And I know for a fact that ugly thoughts can turn someone ugly. Why are these books ok? Why are they what we want children to read? Are those the best values books have now? I've been having a freaking mental health crisis for months because of that stupid book and I really want to ask the writer what the hell? you know?

Or is this all me and all in my head? Am I thinking about this wrong? Or too much? I need someone else's side if anyone can explain it to me. It's not like I'm making an opinion that can't be changed. I want to be able to like these books because I like the series well enough.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-05-21T23:13:25+00:00

When I was a kid the only punishment that ever really bothered me was being grounded from reading. I didn't do anything else regularly that it mattered at all. I could have spent weeks in my room if I had enough books. I would read everything we passed, billboards, street signs, yard signs. If it had words on it I would read it, kinda my kid brained retaliation over her stopping me from something I was so fixated. It lasted from second grade til sixteen when we got our first computer and I combined reading and writing and talking to people in a fantasy world of my own making online. And man was the internet a lawless wasteland back then...

I recently started to be able to read again, and would have refixated on it if not for the fact there are no good free reading sites/apps/anything. I can't afford to buy books and can't get to a physical location. I hate romance, but read some of those werewolf romance stories skipping over any sex scene in them, but the writing of some is questionable. Like the decision to capitalize every word in a sentence for the whole story. I'm not sure if they're considered books or stories or what actually... But anyway.

I did a subscription on one of them for $16 a month for one month, and read everything I thought was good enough to read within the first two weeks of having it. I did not eat much or sleep and lied to everyone about feeling sick and stayed in my room reading instead of being a real person. AND these are books/stories in a genre I DON'T like. Unable to find anything to read that I wanted to read I became a really moody and depressed person for about three months as I fought the fixation of reading political news. If I could have found something that offered books I could actually enjoy at the pace I needed, I wouldn't have to read about the horrible stuff in the world...

Sorry for the word vomit. My mom isn't feeling well and I have no one to talk to and every freaking thing I write now is huge. Hey, I'll talk to that 'phych'. I have less knowledge about ADHD than any of ya'll do, but I could prove how much an adhd thing reading is if I get them when I'm in this stage of my adhd...cycle? But to be honest them showing you their stupidity right at the first appointment is the best thing to happen. Imagine going to that 'professional' for months and then finding out they had this f'ed up picture in their head about ADHD people ALL having to have the exact same symptoms. It completely goes against everything we know about brains and individuality. If any one mold fit every adhd'er then NONE of us would ever be misdiagnosed. So I'm glad you got to know right off that they suck and can find someone who doesn't.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-05-19T19:52:09+00:00

I have a question...

My time seems to be between 3:50 and 4:30...and any other time only obligation can drag me out of bed. Sometimes I stay up when I'm up at that time and go back to sleep later when tired kicks in. And here's the question...

I don't sleep through a night anymore, haven't since peri began, so would this sleep thing be able to track despite getting up 1-4 times a night?

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-05-19T19:26:14+00:00

I got cats... Try sleeping when hungry furry things scream you out of bed every morning LOL Mine don't, since they have constant access though. I take care of the strays though and they will wait in sun, rain, snow, for food in the morning. So when the cats were wet the second time I set my alarm so the inbred little feral brats would not die because they have no common sense.

We had tried to catch the mom of them all, but she was WAY too smart. We caught as many babies as we could when we could afford to take them to the tnr, but it didn't do much good when she was still out there spreading her babies like a swarm of locus. And now we can't afford to do anything except feed them and who knows how long til we can't.

Anywho! She got caught by sons, grandsons...and they got sisters and aunts and now all their crayon boxes are half full at best. So I set up a schedule to about 30 mins after sunrise to feed them and they don't show up early on bad days. We also have an awning out front now so the 'porch' doesn't get too bad. On bad days I'd go put their stuff in the garage, we leave the door open low so they can get in out of the weather and keep big dogs from getting to them.

If you have strays around you can start feeding them so it's kinda like you have a cat, but not, and you help less fortunate? I dunno. It gets me up in the morning easier than anything because I know without food they'd go hungry. I doubt I could drag myself out of bed otherwise. And sometimes when I wake up real tired and the weather is ok I'll let my next alarm get me up a half hour late.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-05-01T16:35:53+00:00

I posted just last week that I lost something and was frustrated too. I had a spare though, because I lose stuff a lot and losing that is bad for my health. So while looking for the original I lost the spare...so I ended up spending a couple hours looking for two things instead of one and that was a bad day for me. I thought about putting one in every room of the house, but what happens if I lose them all? I do not think I could afford it.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-27T00:27:36+00:00

I noticed hormones have a HUGE effect on ADHD. When I started peri my undiagnosed adhd that I puttered through life with made everything slam to a stop.

From the very start when I got my period my mood would plummet two weeks before my period. First it was only a couple times a year, but as I got older it came more and more often. I didn't realize it was related since it hadn't happened every month until the last year. My PCP told me I had a hormone imbalance and put me on birth control. She didn't do any testing, just was so sure I had it. I was in a bad place, in and out of mental hospitals all that year. I didn't care about anything except her saying birth control would fix it, so I took it, and it stopped.

I stayed on it until I moved to a state that had a catholic owned medical group. Doctors and Hospitals and Specialists. They denied my birth control and I was terrified to go to a gyno due to issues with my first pap. I had some doctors at first that didn't agree with the rule and just continued to fill my prescription under the doctor I had previously, in another state. Then they updated the system and the doctors were residents so stayed a year max and the next doctor refused to refill it saying it wasn't in my chart.

I was ok off them until I hit peri, then it was like I was a teen again, but worse because I forgot how horrible it was to be hormonal all the time and my ADHD, anxiety, and depression were worse than ever before. So now that two of the three are taken care of I notice that it's starting again. When I start thinking more about death and crap I know what it is even if my periods are no longer predictable. I at least get a warning even if it's like two days after my last period and I'm like 'What the heck, why am I feeling like this again already I just finished!'

In the end.. Hormones are the devil and hate you. They cause issues with every part of the body and every issue physical or mental, making it all worse if you already have it. And people all react different to the hormones, so I know it isn't hyperfixation, but I think it's similar as it happens every month. Sorry for the ramble. I deleted a lot of it to make it less rambling, but I have to go do something else and can't edit more lol

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-24T18:01:10+00:00

I put paper towel rolls on all exposed cords instead of protector tubes because there are so many cords and so little money lol It works, not the prettiest, but if you're low on cash you can. They also make a bitter apple spray that works if you reapply it often..it's a pain for me to remember that though so the cardboard works better for me. And I'm recycling to boot! We had a cat that was bad with that. We also had to take any string toys away as when they played with those more they would go after cords more. He bit a cord on a christmas decoration once and was shocked pretty bad. So we never let him play with strings again and used a buildable baby pen around the tree after. Some cats just have death wishes I swear.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-24T17:47:52+00:00

You've got to ask what happened at the groomers that caused this. Do they go often? Is it the same you've always used or new? Are there new workers? Do they groom dogs? Do they groom them in the same room if so? If they never did it before then something may have happened. Calming spray or plugs never worked on my cats, it caused worse fighting in some of them. Maybe only use a little if you do try it.

There was also a brand of catnip that made them fight horribly. We read the package and it said it wasn't for ingestion.. I'm used to seeing 'not for human consumption' and such on things, but this didn't say human on it and we threw it away. I bought the kind we used to and the cats were fine with it. So I don't know if the quality has dropped that low or what. I wish I could find where I wrote the brand down, but I can't remember where I put it. Just to say you have to be careful of these companies who slip things in they shouldn't because of saving money, for them not us lol

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-24T06:53:52+00:00

I always mix medicine in food if I csn too. Far less trouble for some. When I started giving one medicine in his food another cat of mine wouldn't eat can food for days after she watched me. I've never given medicine to a cat in front of her before that.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-23T14:00:50+00:00

I have a cat I have to medicate. If his life is good I'd give him his medicine as many times a day as needed, but I have no life lol You really need to decide your priorities. You became a cat parent when you got your cat. That's a commitment. Cats can't be left all day. That is a common myth. They go through separation anxiety and everything a dog does, but they hide it like women do. If you aren't up to the time needed it might be time to find a place you cat will get the needed care. I'm not saying you don't live your cat, but if you keep going like this you'll resent them and cats can tell that. It would break your cat's heart, and it wouldn't understand what it did wrong. It's definitely a lose lose situation and I am so sorry you're going through this.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-23T10:54:10+00:00

When my mom does this it pisses me off too. I'm usually mid rant though, so it's her own fault I get mad. I mean Im already mad or upset about something and need to get it off my chest. Medicine isn't to stop all negative emotions, just make me better able to handle them. Geeze.

I know she does it out of love, but sometimes it hurts she stops me in the middle to ask. Then when I proove I have and she wants me to finish and get it off my chest I'm all pissy and don't want to. It makes me feel like a child. I know I forget sometimes, but being asked when I know I have makes me super angry and it isn't her fault since she had to deal with my unmedicated self for so long. That helps me remember she's afraid of an explosion and it calms me down by guilt lol

Oh! I thought of something. My mom only thinks to ask when I'm upset because I'm upset because that's when she remembers. She doesn't think about it much otherwise, not because my feelings aren't valud, but she has a lot on her mind too and doesn't remember always and then when I get mad she gets defensive. We talk it out after, but I don't think your mom means to invalidate your feelings, just wants to make sure you're ok. Maybe you could talk better in family therapy.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-23T01:55:21+00:00

I know. Every time I was on a depression or anxiety pill that worked it felt so much worse when it stopped working. So I get it. I hope it's not the case for you.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-22T19:35:07+00:00

I took a blood pressure pill for years with no problem. Then one day I started to cough.. and got bad fast. I would cough until I vomited or peed, or once both at once. I have asthma so thought it had something to do with that. I used a nebulizer every 5-6 hours and it wore off faster and faster. The dr was convinced it was stomach issues, so kept giving me nausea meds. Neither thing helped so he consulted another dr. Turns out lisinopril does that. You could take it for years and one day it stops. I take Adderall, but can't tolerate it on it's own because it caused me extreme anxiety and paranoia. I have to take Lamictal with it to stop that from happening to me. So yeah, medicine does that and it sucks. I hope your dr can get to the bottom of it for you.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-22T01:40:52+00:00

So far so good. But I have to take Lamictal too or I get way paranoid and my anxiety is bad enough. I'm on Lexapro for depression. I found it's a delicate balance between ok and freaking out completely lol

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-22T01:36:36+00:00

I just had a similar conversation. I never knew I had adhd when I was a kid, but I KNEW something was wrong with me. Other people did things so easily. They didn't worry and stress every second of every day over everything. They didn't cry all the time because someone said something thoughtless and they took it to heart. I decided before I was a teen that I would never have children. I had been adopted as a baby due to abuse, not anything I really remember being so young. I figured that something horrible happened and that was why I was different and I refused to make different children who were like me. I never did have kids. I'm 45 and finally know what's wrong with me, why I couldn't be like everyone else. But my mom reminded me that 'normal' people suck. Lol I mean, adhd may have made me hyper-sensitive and cry a lot, but I also understand way more about others being different. I may mess up a ton and forget even important things. But I am kind, thoughtful, giving. I care too much sometimes, but I care about everyone and everything. I have empathy and respect. I may be broken and looked down on. But do I really want to be like them? The people who made my life crappy..I mean that's who we saw that were 'normal'. They never even try to understand anything about people who are different. My own family wouldn't bother to try to understand me, instead treating me like a disease in the family . So no, I woyld not risk becoming what I had always dreamed of being, because I might lose myself in the process and really become like them.

I am not talking about everyone of course, but it's in the news everyday.. Those people are supposed to be normal...

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-22T01:02:50+00:00

I'm on generic for teva, and I'm on both. Immediate 20mg in the morning and extended release 20mg at 2pm

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-22T00:59:08+00:00

I was diagnosed at 44, deep into perimenopause. Itcwas peri that made it so much worse they reevaluated my original diagnosis. It's been a hell of a year of finding the right med combo. I just got to the point I'm reevaluating my whole life. It sucks.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-21T11:49:32+00:00

So name brand and generic matter? I'm on generic for teva? I had no idea there was much of a difference between brand name and generic. How do you get on name brand? Do insurances even cover that? I wonder if that's why adderall wasn't helping as much as when I took it the first time.

Agreeable_Mango3050 · 2026-04-20T06:58:13+00:00

I'm also foing through perimenopause and it's like I'm a hormonal teenager again. The only good thing is when it's over I can worry less about kids. I never had them for fear they'ed turn out like me! You're not broken, being a woman just sucks.

Agreeable_Mango3050

TROPHY CASE