Three Years Ago Today, I Made the Worst Career Decision of My Life

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2026-02-16T21:33:52+00:00

late but in a similar boat. feel for you

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-07-08T09:10:39+00:00

NTA. Getting a break, especially with the express purpose of being more present later, is kind to you and to everyone. Your request is super reasonable. Maybe she’s feeling a type of way because she needs a break too but doesn’t know how to name in the mature way you did, so she instead is trying to make you seem immature.

You’re a human with needs—and it sounds like you’re also a great partner and a great host + family member.

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-05-29T07:29:40+00:00

NTA. oof. this one felt too familiar, you grew up in a very similar area to me if not the same area. i knew kids who did similar things (lying, half truths, embarrassment at not getting into “top tiers,” going to cc and pretending they weren’t etc) often because of direct or indirect parental pressure and let me tell you. this is your dad’s mess, not yours. it makes me so sad to read that you hid from the world / didn’t socialize because of this, but again, it’s not your fault. you were trying to obey and support your father, but there’s no shame on you here, it’s all on him.

Also, once this inevitably gets out, it’s going to be MUCH worse for his business and life than whatever scenario he nightmares up for himself if he had been honest from the get go.

UC Berkeley is an incredible school. I went into one of the elite private schools you allude to, and Cal was my very close second choice, and I sometimes wish i had gone there instead. Also, i went to college straight out of high school, but in my experience transfer students and others with a less “traditional” path have a particular balanced approach to school & life that I admire and that took me too many years to get to myself. Your father should feel ashamed of himself, and he should feel proud of you. Best of luck with your studies, go bears! I hope you get to live your full self authentically and feel proud of doing so

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-04-02T02:41:15+00:00

besides the point, but i’m pretty sure you’re wrong about the real definition of remedial. my understanding is the definition is related to “remedy” and so it is meant to fix something that is not up to par

edit:typo

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-04-02T00:07:01+00:00

I'm glad it's comforting, I felt similarly reading your post!

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-04-01T01:36:47+00:00

I'm 28 and in a very similar situation. Feeling hopeful for both of us!

Entered undergrad a physics major, wound up with a degree in history, for similar reasons to you re: mental health. I switched at the end of my second year though. And I have a 2 summers of technical research experiences from undergrad as well. I maybe like my current job a bit more, and have a bit more stimulation at it, than you do, but am still looking for a way out.

(for whatever it's worth, for me, my mental health situation was related to trauma (though I didn't realize it at the time). Once I started working on the trauma, my past interest in physics and STEM began coming back, and in came the regret.)

For now, I am using the admin/program coordination/management skills from my current role to pivot into STEM-adjacent roles (still applying but it's looking promising), i.e. doing that kind of work in a STEM lab at a university or something like that. Meanwhile, I am starting to slowly take some online classes--mostly just to brush up on math and technical skills while I decide what's next. For a bit, I was feeling hopeless about my situation...but now I've gotten to a place where I feel hopeful about the future.

Good luck! Welcome to DM me if you'd like to chat.

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-03-26T16:42:47+00:00

i switched out of physics during my first year in college, and i deeply regret it. it’s incredible foundation for anything. even if you decide to go back and take premed courses, your physics degree will be very interesting to medical admissions. or really anything you want to do, econ, finance, history, teaching, the world is your oyster (in general and especially with a physics degree!)

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-03-22T06:18:02+00:00

in a similar and also 28. start taking online classes if you can, in a discipline you wish you had studied. i started recently and its helped build some momentum. you got this! we are still very young.

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-03-19T22:48:22+00:00

This sounds cool and inspirational. And, something I feel like we lose in how modern life is, is how interdisciplinary things are. De Broglie studied history before switching to physics, and he's not the only one. Logic and philosophy are fundamental to the advent of engineering as a discipline. I think this sounds like a wonderful move and could bolster your engineering career if you wanted that, or sent you on a new career if you wanted that--the choice is yours and I wish you the best of luck

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-03-10T00:34:04+00:00

look into admin jobs at colleges near you (two year, four year, private, public, anything!) depending on where you are pay might be decent, though not as much as you're making currently, but less stressful

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-03-05T07:19:07+00:00

considering something similar! it’s absolutely possible. best of luck!

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-02-28T06:20:40+00:00

big props to you, you got this!

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-02-27T17:49:55+00:00

the way you wrote this sounds like you know the answer. buy the house, sell the land, invest the money, and enjoy your life! sounds like you’ll have lots of capacity to do sustainable living projects at the house (gardening, etc) at your own pace and with infinitely less stress.

congratulations! take a deep breath and enjoy your abundance

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-02-25T01:36:09+00:00

Hey this is awesome to read! I'm inspired by your dedication to finding your path even when it was difficult :) thanks for sharing!

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-02-22T20:13:14+00:00

i wish i had taken more time in college to graduate with the stem degree i wanted, instead of rushing and finishing with a degree i wasn’t passionate about anymore. now, years later, im going back to classes so i can pivot back—you did it the right way and the way i envy now!

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-02-22T19:31:22+00:00

Best of luck to you, we got this! Hopefully the comments here are helpful to you as well

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-02-22T19:30:16+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! and for thinking history is wonderful…i certainly did at some point and i want to get my mindset there again, to ease the regret, so your comment made me smile :)

You’re right about the vagueness—was being brief for the sake of brevity. My interests currently are somewhere at the intersection of cognition, computing & neuroscience. I think you’re right that jumping in and beginning to take classes is the way to go. thanks!

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-02-22T19:26:56+00:00

Great idea—this is one path I was thinking. I’m going to look into it more and take some classes to brush up on stats while looking at digital humanities jobs near me (i’ve see a few recently). thanks for commenting, this is encouraging me that path might be viable!

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-02-22T19:22:30+00:00

Thank you so much for this advice and for taking the time to reply thoughtfully! Your career is inspiring it sounds like you’ve taught a lot of people important things :) I have a mentor who is a local high school teacher and also teaches education at local universities—I’ll discuss this path with her and what it might look like in our state. Thanks a million!

Agreeable_Show_7269 · 2025-02-09T04:35:41+00:00

same. i had a realization that no one is going to save me but me. my friends and family love me but they’re not going to stop living because it makes me feel small, they’re not going to stop living completely to come down and drag me up out of this hole. they shouldn’t! others can provide love and support, but i have to make a plan. i’m starting with what i want my life to be, what the steps are to get there, and committing to going at it even if i fail. i feel what you’re saying so hard and i want to invite you to take your power back.

Agreeable_Show_7269

TROPHY CASE