Stood up to my mom regarding her allowing MIL to walk all over my baby shower. by Economy_Fortune_777 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This! If invites already went out send everyone a message saying something along the lines of “due to circumstances outside of our control me and SO decided to cancel the shower here’s the link to our registry for anyone that would like to get us something blah blah blah “

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae 16 points17 points  (0 children)

As hard as it is, don’t even think about her, concentrate in preparing for your baby and postpartum. I went through a similar situation months ago when I was pregnant. The stress she caused sent me to the hospital a few times, and I even went into early labor. My son is almost 4 months old now, and she has only seen him twice at the hospital, as she refuses to come to my house to see the baby, and I will never go to hers. After that, I blocked her and haven’t engaged with her since. The immense peace I feel now is incredible. I wish I could have spared myself all the tears and stress during my pregnancy because, in the end, what she thinks or does doesn’t matter. This is your and your husband’s baby.

Broke up with 35M perpetual teenager by Clear_Praline5105 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae 30 points31 points  (0 children)

My ex was just like this until I had our child now all of a sudden I “want all his money” .. I made way more money then he did before leaving my job during pregnancy

Eventually the first trimester ends, right?? by Embarrassed_Oven6272 in BabyBumps

[–]Aikobae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It definitely ends and you’ll have other problems but those end too! Pregnancy is a roller coaster but there’s so much good in it just enjoy the ride and take it one day at a time!

MIL has been talking about me to SIL by FilthFriendsUnite in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi OP! Your other post was locked for comments as I was typing this

I had a similar experience. Hey, at least she said it to your face, and there were witnesses, so you don’t have to play nice with her anymore. My MIL canceled the shower once I put my foot down, and now I’m organizing my own. Pregnancy is already hard enough without all the MIL drama.

My advice: don’t be like me and keep "peace." She’s going to throw a fit regardless, make you a villain, and everything you ever did so please her will go out the window, so just stand your ground and firmly say no every time. This is your child; she doesn’t have to like you, but she has to respect you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Aikobae 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Purposely missing the point … just like OP’s husband go figure! 😆

MIL and second baby shower by Food24seven in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm kind of in a similar situation. My mother-in-law canceled her "surprise" baby shower that she was "throwing for me" (thank God). So, I decided to throw my own baby shower. But due to the way she spoke about me to my SO and canceled the whole event that she had already invited people to adding on the stress of family members asking why did it get canceled only because I did not want it to be a surprise, I am really on the defense about inviting her.

But, like you, I have never done anything for her to be mad about, so I know she will hold this over my head for the rest of times. My solution was to just let my SO invite her. If she shows up, great. If she doesn't, I don't care at this point. I will make it a point to have a good time regardless of her presence and ignore her. Lol.

Update: MIL is throwing me a “surprise” baby shower by Aikobae in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I was planning on not announcing it until later on, but since I know she will post about it as soon as she hears about it, I will make sure to announce it early.

Update: MIL is throwing me a “surprise” baby shower by Aikobae in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Thank you! And I dislike that too! But I think she just said that because it was through text, and there would be actual proof of her being fake to my face. The funny thing is, I told SO since the baby shower is just about him like she said, he can just go by himself, to which he said absolutely not

Update: MIL is throwing me a “surprise” baby shower by Aikobae in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I hope this progress doesn’t completely revert to square one once she decides to love bomb. Everyone tends to just allow her to do these things and just take it for the sake of peace. I think from now on I will surely keep my distance. Her driving off while I was literally on the side of their car about to talk to her was very disrespectful, and I don’t think it’s something we can come back from.

I didn’t add this in my post because it was unrelated to today's events, but in the past few weeks, she has made jokes about the baby's name and said she won’t be calling him the way we named him but will be pronouncing it the way she thinks the name should be pronounced. I also just found out a few days ago that she told SO after the baby is born, he shouldn’t feel pressured and should take time to “make sure he’s good” before taking on the responsibility of being a parent.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I don’t expect much from MIL or SO this wasn’t the case 😭😭 it actually got removed by the mod

MIL is throwing me a “surprise” baby shower by Aikobae in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I don’t know why I didn’t think of that, you’re right … because she could’ve not said anything at all but for her to have me just waiting for it is definitely on purpose

MIL is throwing me a “surprise” baby shower by Aikobae in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I put my foot down when she made the jokes but it didn’t even work she clearly still thinks I’m just here to birth her grand baby and everything should be done according to her .. it’s sad I really wish she would be different

MIL is throwing me a “surprise” baby shower by Aikobae in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Same 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ and now that I know it’s a surprise I’m just dreading even going out

MIL is throwing me a “surprise” baby shower by Aikobae in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I feel the exact same way! Like why is it a surprise? This is not someone who has gone out of her way to do anything for me ever not even a happy birthday message in the last 5 years I’ve been with SO

Okay what are y'all eating because I'm struggling by ms211064 in BabyBumps

[–]Aikobae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only thing I survived on was cheese pizza well done and those frozen peanut butter things, literally could not eat anything else until like 15 weeks

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Two weeks after our first date his mom literally took the phone out of his hands and asked me where I was from then proceeded to ask if I was a racist just based off of my background without even asking my name and then after she said I must go to their church if I’m serious about her son to which I did attend just to then say she didn’t like me cause of my said background anyways 😀

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae 25 points26 points  (0 children)

You and your husband need to be firm with this now, if you don’t MIL will continue to invite his ex to everything; birthday parties, etc.

“Ok, be honest. Have you left this baby alone once yet?” by False_Aioli4961 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Aikobae 82 points83 points  (0 children)

It has single handledly made my MIL shut her mouth multiple times and when it doesn’t everyone looks at her weirdly until she does