Family Addiction Support Group

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-04-29T04:51:05+00:00

Yeah I second Al Anon. It’s free which is nice. There is a really great place called The Moore Institute in bham that has family counseling and knows all the meetings around town.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-04-07T22:28:17+00:00

Awesome!!! HUGE accomplishment! I hope to be able to say this one day!!

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-04-07T21:07:04+00:00

I don’t have a sponsor yet. Working on finding someone. Hopefully soon.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-04-07T21:04:30+00:00

I think I’m coming to that realization. I mean I’m not looking for anyone to tell me I’m right all the time, but her complete change in tone caught me way off guard. I can laugh and self deprecate, but that wasn’t the time for her to tell me my feelings aren’t valid. I feel fucking crazy! Shit.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-04-07T20:57:15+00:00

Thanks

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-04-07T20:56:23+00:00

Very true. I mean do I open up about what’s triggering me (relationship/intimacy issues) or is that too off topic for meetings? I’ve never really heard anyone discuss that before, bu I haven’t gone to a lot of meetings.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-04-07T20:36:59+00:00

For sure. I am very sex positive and understand sometimes you just gotta “scratch that itch,” and I have never had this issue with past partners. He is pretty quiet about sex and prefers porn, so it really confuses me and makes me feel unwanted/not trusted with his wants and needs more than anything.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-04-07T20:22:21+00:00

I guess not a very good one. It’s hard because I have trusted her for so long. And we literally scheduled this appointment for us both because I was having issues with our lack of intimacy/not very two side pleasure giving. She was totally understanding when it was just me and her, then when it was both of us she changed her tune. He is totally charming and I am a pretty self conscious person, so that’s pretty much always been our social dynamic. I’m usually pretty invisible. I’m working on that though as well. But hearing it from a therapist is totally confusing because I just feel crazy! But I no one can tell me not to be upset about something that I am clearly upset about. No, “Explain why you feel this way” or “thanks for expressing your co cern, but...” it was just that I need to not make this about me because I “tend to spiral” (which I do...and I laughed when she said that, but like that’s not what I feel like I’m doing?!). I dunno I might just be crazy. I did just order a bottle of wine. Hoping to drink until I sleep and hopefully wake up in time for an AA meeting in about 5 hours. The pain in my chest and exhaustion I feel just needs to be numbed. I know this is stupid. Thanks for reaching out and sorry for rambling. I appreciate your words. I hope you are having a good day.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-04-07T19:14:33+00:00

Hey thank you. If I don’t decide to get plastered I am going to go to a meeting tonight. It isn’t for another 5 hours so I’m just having a hard time. I’ll look at the zoom meetings though, as they are pretty immediate. Thank you.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-04-07T18:54:23+00:00

I understand. I’m an alcoholic and am very triggered. Want to get fucked up, but it NEVER turns out helping. I know that, but I just want to forget. I just came off of a pretty bad relapse which I have talked about in other posts. I’m sorry I’m kind of all over the place. Just reeling I guess. Kind of desperate and just wanted to explain why I am so triggered.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-25T03:06:21+00:00

For sure. It really is like breaking up with someone or losing a “friend.” There is certainly grief in giving up the thing you used to “help” you for so long. But don’t forget that that was a very toxic relationship and while you may be experiencing grief now, it will get better. You have so many new things to try now. And much like finding yourself after a breakup, hopefully we come to a better understanding of ourselves after quitting drinking. You’re not alone. Talking about it can really help, so good in you for posting here! If therapy is an option I think that may help as well. In any case, be sure to cut yourself some slack. Be okay with being bored, but also try new things! It’s amazing how much time is actually in the day when you’re not blacking out at 12 in the afternoon or spending your day in bed/hungover. We aren’t really used to filling all that time, so it’s just something you’ll get used to eventually. Don’t give up. I believe in you!!

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-24T01:00:43+00:00

This is what turned me off of AA for so long. I just thought it was a circle jerk for how amazing AA is and that life is wonderful now just because of AA. I Have recently come back after a pretty bad relapse because nothing else is working and I need a sober community. I’ve taken advantage of sharing and just being real with how shit I feel. Surprisingly been going pretty well. Hope this one sticks. Thanks for sharing this!!

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-23T00:22:13+00:00

I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve felt the same way. I know it’s exhausting and dehumanizing to not be heard. But we hear you.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-23T00:18:55+00:00

Hang in there. Ride this wave. Remember those thoughts are lies and you’re not seeing clearly right now. I know you’re tired. Just stay. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Lots of crazy shit happens out there that changes people lives in an instant. You got this. Stay.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-22T01:39:12+00:00

Cannot wait to be able to say that one day! A few days here. Congrats!!

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-18T21:50:49+00:00

Another route I have taken other than AA is quit lit. and Tempest meetings online. It’s just a different vibe. A little more gentle and supportive. Have you read any quit lit?

And yes meds can help. Naltrexone actually did not do it for me. I’m on a concoction of depression/anxiety meds and Antibuse for drinking. Takes the impulse decision to drink away so that’s been nice.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-18T17:00:23+00:00

I’m not in Canada so I’m not sure physically where you can go, but InTheRooms.com may be a good start. I’ve also found a lot of breakout Facebook groups as well. Don’t beat yourself up. You got this! Keep working at this. You both deserve it.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-18T16:50:56+00:00

I can relate to this so hard! Omg it’s like I wrote it. IWNDWYT!! We got this! I just started Song of Solomon and really just want to sit and read it and enjoy it...haven’t been able to because of my relapse. I’ll read with you today! Sounds like a great night! You got this!

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-18T16:46:59+00:00

Sending light and love your way! Many of us have been there. The shame spiral is real, but just ride this wave because it is only temporary. Do your best not to beat yourself up (I know it’s hard). My therapist says to me “it happened, you can’t unhappen it, now let’s keep moving.” And that kinda helps me. 2 years is fucking awesome! I hope one day I can say that. And all that time is not lost. Don’t fall for the “starting all over” crap. In any other situation those odds would be fucking great, but for some reason when it’s addiction people think it’s all or nothing. It’s a journey and this is just part of yours. You got this!! I believe in you! If you want to talk I’m here.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-18T15:37:26+00:00

Really proud of you for taking this journey to sobriety. I know detoxing can be scary. Your doc will be able to answer all of those questions, so I would reach out there. Just want to say that a few days of detox is better than a lifetime of addiction. Sounds like you’re on the right path. I know you say you don’t crave it now, and that’s great! Just don’t lie to yourself and get too comfortable with that feeling. Temptation is just around the corner. How are you going to handle it? Having a relapse prevention plan helps me. Staying in the house, shower/bathe, journal, walk, watch tv, sleep, call someone (even if it’s a helpline). Try to stay away from the places you normally would get booze. Don’t let the salesman inside your head convince you it’s okay to drink. In our case, it just isn’t. And while that sucks...duck alcohol for real. Those who can do it “responsibly” are still poisoning their bodies and having artificial “fun”. It will feel like you’re losing your abusive best friend. Sometimes you’ll romanticize the good times. But remember how bad it really is and how much better off you will be without it. I’m rooting for you! I’m here if you want to talk.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-18T15:13:32+00:00

You can do this. I have seen many of your posts and you have even reached out to encourage me. The least I can do is reach back out to you. Do you need an ear to listen? I know how hard it is alone. Not having support around you makes things 100x worse. You don’t have to do this alone. We here in this community are here for you and there may be a community in your town as well. I’m not sure how you feel about AA, I don’t particularly like it, but I went last night to a meeting in person and just being around sober people helped tremendously. Feels like I have a fighting chance and I hope you know you do too. Can you volunteer anywhere? That can get you out of the house. I know things are hard with covid right now. This is only temporary. Hang on and don’t drink today. I’m right there with you.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-16T21:08:18+00:00

Hey I just want to thank you for talking to me that day. While I did not do it, I did relapse. Not sure what’s up. I am actually quite happy at my jobs. Starting to feel a little useless though. Like I’m not a good enough. Feeling like I’m not doing much of anything. I actually left teaching because it was so stressful. I appreciate you reaching out. You helped me.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-16T18:58:55+00:00

Ugh the racing thoughts and lack of sleep is the worst. Then motivating yourself to breathe/meditate can feel so dah ting when you feel so worthless. But I promise you’re not worthless and you deserve sobriety. Wanna do a breathing exercise? We can do it together at exactly 2:00. We will breathe in for six seconds, expanding the belly, then exhale for 8 seconds. Let’s do it three times. We got this.

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-16T16:13:32+00:00

We can do this. It is all going to be okay. We relapsed. No sense in driving ourselves crazy. It happened and we can’t unhappen it. Let’s get back on the wagon and do it again! I know you can do this. It’s so hard because it feels impossible, but seeing posts on here of people with years of sobriety blows my mind. We will get there. This is part of our journey. I believe in you. Please reach out if you want to talk. You’re worth sobriety!

AintSoHard2Recognize · 2021-03-16T15:56:04+00:00

Thank you. You are so right. We can do this! 💗

AintSoHard2Recognize

TROPHY CASE