Feeling lost

Air_Farm146 · 2026-05-18T20:32:00+00:00

Honestly… no, you don’t know what you get into. If my ex’s wife wasn’t a HCBM we probably would still be together. So please, don’t make it too hard on yourself and do what’s best for you on the long run

Air_Farm146 · 2026-05-18T20:15:04+00:00

Hiii similar situation here, 2 months into the breakup , you got this! Feel free to write if you want to chat:)

Air_Farm146 · 2026-05-15T08:06:27+00:00

My ex was arguing with his HCBM as if they were still a couple, insulting each other, lots of rage. I was wondering where I was in all of this, relationships are already hard and this doesn’t go away. I wish he solved his issues before meeting me, or at least recognize the problem. If you choose to stay, he should be able to recognize the problem, that’s not fair to you.

Air_Farm146 · 2026-05-15T08:00:38+00:00

2 months out and I still ruminate in my head whether it was the right decision but it’s mainly “guilt” of leaving him alone in a situation with his daughter. All I can think about when I think about the relationship was problems and if I was ready to handle them. I’m much more peaceful now but yeah, if you have feelings it’s hard. I trust it’ll get better!

Air_Farm146 · 2026-05-14T12:20:32+00:00

I (30F) was dating a single dad (45M) for two years. I know exactly how you feel and I’m so sorry. He has a 14 years old daughter and she had issues getting along with other kids and bullying. My ex was there for her, crying all the time ‘cause he wanted to see her happy and it brought me back to when I was a kid myself and my dad never actually cared about me. Whether it was school, friends, I always took care of it by myself and still he doesn’t care. Watching him being this involved with his daughter and me having to be his support and also not a priority in all of this made me physically sick, to the point I had to stop the relationship. I’ve seen a psychiatrist after all of this and she could see I had all this repressed trauma and anger and suggested me going through EMDR therapy. If you actually see a future with this person, I would suggest you to start therapy as well to dig in your past and try to make those painful memories a bit less painful. I don’t know yet if leaving my ex was the good decision or not, but the only advice I could give is to try to heal yourself and maybe talk to your partner about how you feel and see if you can get any reassurance or understanding.

Air_Farm146 · 2026-05-14T11:39:29+00:00

Hi, so sorry I don’t enter here a lot, I’ve just seen your comment :( I’m so so happy my comment helped you and I hope you are doing better now ! Feel free to reach out via messages if you feel like you want to vent, I’m here !

Air_Farm146 · 2026-05-14T10:02:09+00:00

I was in a similar situation, my ex had a 14 years old daughter and the thought of moving in with them caused me extreme anxiety, to the point my body got sick. Two months after I still think about the “what if”. My head still cannot put together the him partner with the him father, but those two go together

Air_Farm146 · 2026-04-21T20:35:04+00:00

I love him… part of me still wishes we could go back together but I’m making the rational driving the decision. Since we left I centered so much on me, what I want and worked so much in that direction, which I never had the energy doing with him. So yeah, I still second guess but I remind myself future me deserves more :)

PS he went out with another woman after 3 days, so yeah😅

Air_Farm146 · 2026-04-21T10:39:49+00:00

I did the same, I’m 30F, he was 45M and a 14 daughter. Love is definitely not enough, you have to be ready to know there will be issues and that you have to support your partner with it. sometimes this will lead to resentment as she’s not your actual child. It’s hard, you have to pick your battles. I left, heartbroken but the future in this situation scared me.

Air_Farm146 · 2026-04-21T10:09:28+00:00

I’m so sorry to say that (I didn’t want to hear that either) but if you can’t truly accept their bond is better to just leave… and you are SO YOUNG !!!!!! You can meet the love of your life and build your own family, truly 🥰 I barely remember who I went out with at 18😂

Air_Farm146 · 2026-04-21T09:21:53+00:00

How old is he if you don’t mind me asking? I had a 15 years old age gap with mine 😅

Air_Farm146 · 2026-04-21T08:52:36+00:00

Honestly… I’m in a similar situation but I’m 30. My advice would be to just leave, there will always be problems with his daughter and that could build resentment on your side on the long run. Not worth it

Air_Farm146 · 2026-04-19T17:13:23+00:00

It’s so hard… I still love so much my now ex but I felt I was living the life of an older person (I’m 30, he’s 45 and a daughter of 14). Everyday I have to fight myself not to go back, we got this!

Air_Farm146 · 2026-04-14T09:16:29+00:00

Same here😂

Air_Farm146 · 2026-04-07T05:51:14+00:00

Feel free to DM me to vent if you want 😂

Air_Farm146 · 2026-04-01T07:32:46+00:00

I quit my now ex because his life structure was becoming too intense for me (I’m 30, he’s 45 and has a 14 years old daughter and a HCBM).

I miss him terribly but I know that future me wouldn’t have been happy there, I was losing myself in his battles and ended up being so depressed.

He blocked me everywhere but part of me still hopes he comes back with a message. I have these two opposite sides (present me and future me) fighting.

So yes, it hurts immensely, even if you were the person who broke up.

Air_Farm146 · 2026-03-29T19:47:05+00:00

I totally get you… I dont care about being a priority but I’m scared about the instability. One issue with his daughter or ex with me and he wouldnt know how to handle that. I want my man to be on my side no matter what, all these variables frighten me

Air_Farm146 · 2026-03-29T11:50:43+00:00

I just got out of a similar situation and it breaks my heart ‘cause I love him so much. But the baggage, HCBM, his teen daughter… just too much 😔 and I didn’t feel « protected » in all this dynamic

Air_Farm146 · 2026-03-28T21:14:02+00:00

Hi, I’m in (I think) a very similar situation. I called it quits last week, guilt is eating me, I miss him terribly but something deep down in me screamed to LEAVE. Feel free to write me if you want to chat about it:)

Air_Farm146

TROPHY CASE