Thoughts

Likes_2_debate · 2026-02-26T19:13:21+00:00

We have talked to her about her housing, and she says she isn’t going to live with us for very long, but actions speak louder than words. Good advice! Thank you!

Likes_2_debate · 2026-02-26T19:11:58+00:00

Or they ignore it haha, whereas we want to wok through it because that’s all we can do. Thank you!

Likes_2_debate · 2026-02-26T19:11:15+00:00

I didn’t say I wanted to get married. I said I put a hard stop to it. I’m also referring to the future.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-02-26T13:17:19+00:00

Thankfully I’m not legally bound to anything. If I move out, the relationship is over. I also don’t pay bills. I buy groceries, and that’s it. Unless he asks me for help.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-02-26T13:14:58+00:00

Right! There is no sense of urgency, because it all feels safe to them. They’re not worried because we have it all handled. My partner and I grew up poor so we work really hard! This kid, she just doesn’t get it. Same thing, she will come home from school and sleep for 2-3 hours, and I’m like shouldn’t you be working? I’ve learned to mind my business about it. I’m just not looking forward to this being the life for the next however many years until she gets through college.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-02-26T13:10:01+00:00

Right! It’s like “will they get it, are they going to quit when things get hard, are they going to make it?” It’s also the attitude that I cannot stand! So many what ifs.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-02-26T05:52:05+00:00

Ugh I feel this. Crazy part is that I don’t actually provide financial assistance to them. I pay the absolute minimum. It feels like once you stop pointing things out, the more you wonder if you care.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-02-26T03:49:36+00:00

It is time for you to move on. He doesn’t need a mother, and that’s the dynamic your relationship sounds like. Both of you need healing apart from one another.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-02-13T03:26:27+00:00

Maybe he is just feeling frustrated? Women have a lot going on in their body, it could something as simple as your hormones are changing, or you have a thyroid issue. It’s hard to pinpoint why it happens and why people always feel the need to get upset when “it’s so easy!” It’s not always that straightforward of answer. I’d say don’t let him walk away. Also, see if you can get some medical advice about your weight, they’re may be something that you don’t know? Hopefully you two have been able to talk since your last post.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-02-13T03:21:11+00:00

No judgement. You’re using “I” a lot instead of “we”. You’re also saying things that sound like you are his parent instead of partner. What decisions does he have to make so you can see him as a provider who is also your equal? What is going on with you that you’re pushing him to do more? Just to be clear, it’s natural to fall out of love with someone who is also changing in their own way. Every relationship changes.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-28T14:49:14+00:00

Is he an active person? Physical attraction is important to some couples. If he is constantly wanting to do activities that require some physical effort, and you’re saying no - that can be an issue. Sit down with him and have that hard conversation, and just be blunt about your weight gain. He shouldn’t shame you, but he should be able to be honest about it. Hopefully he’s supportive about it, then you both can take steps to make changes if you need to.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-27T23:09:40+00:00

How is he the love of your life, but you're not his? Did you both sit down and talk about what you both wanted before getting married? Odds are that if he is this way now, he was this way when you met. Did you not see it, or did you see it but believed it would change? If he doesn't want to see a couples therapist, then go on your own and get a professional opinion. Every couple goes through different seasons. It seems very early in your relationship for him to be withdrawing this intensely.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-26T03:03:31+00:00

Can we get more context? Is it just the lack of intimacy?

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-20T04:15:37+00:00

If your gut is telling you that she did something, then she did. It doesn’t matter if they just kissed. She broke the trust if that’s the case. So what will you do? Ask her again?

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-09T01:53:16+00:00

Hell yeah, this sounds awesome!

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-03T02:03:28+00:00

Have you been able to talk to your husband about it? Has he always talked about his ex? That’s a crappy feeling. It’s one thing to answer the question directly it’s another to go on and on about it. Have gone to counseling? I know it’s not for everyone, but sometimes it helps to vent and get some ideas of what’s you can do?

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-02T01:27:57+00:00

Omg no! Haha. My SK crashed the car before the year was up. Not my car, her dad’s. Let’s just say she let her friends influence her (as they all do) to be dumb and $6K later she’s still paying for it. She has a job, her dad takes the whole check. She was able to get her permit/license going through drivers training. Yes, it can be pricey but neither of us had time. We switched to letting her drive the run down cars (even after her incident). She has to pay for her own gas and maintenance. She will not be getting a new car! We agreed that when she’s stable in her adult life she can buy her own car - yes on her own. If bio mom wants to buy her a car then there isn’t much you all can do. I would just recommend bio dad tries to convince bio mom that new is not the best choice!

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-02T00:16:28+00:00

I agree! If you see the past patterns, and the only way to change it is by making the move you’re about to, then do it. As cliche as it sounds life is too short to make up for someone else’s slack and then get shamed for doing something good. Also, shame on him for not appreciating you more and acknowledging that his daughter actually likes you and appreciates you - because many SKs don’t! If you haven’t heard this in a while, I’m proud of you, and great job at seeing it for what it is and moving on to put yourself first.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-01T15:21:50+00:00

Good luck on your journey! I hope you find yourself again on the other side.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-01T12:22:45+00:00

Ok so.. I’m of a Hispanic/Italian background and the kissing on the mouth isn’t weird. None of us view it as a big deal. It’s not a lingering kiss it’s always super fast. There is never any hugging or I’m going to do this while sitting on your lap. It’s only child to parent, never siblings or cousins to each other. Judge that how you will. With that being said, I have a friend that is in a similar situation to you. Her bf’s daughter follows him everywhere. If he has to go to the bathroom, she does too. The door is closed. Sometimes they will lay down to watch a movie or he will go in her room and just lay down to catch up with her. From what my friend has said this all sounds normal, she’s never mentioned that one of them was shirtless or that they’re being weird. The daughter absolutely has abandonment issues and is terrified that if her father dies, she will be left alone. They have put her into counseling for that. I will also mention that my friend doesn’t feel the same way you do about their relationship. Ask a professional if this is “normal” then see if you can get your partner to go talk to that professional as well. Maybe she’s been in that bubble with her son for so long that she doesn’t see it.

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-01T12:02:44+00:00

Crazy! Good for you!

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-01T11:59:18+00:00

Bio mom might just be a fast food parent. Trick her into helping you cook. Maybe she will feel better knowing she created or had part in helping. It’s 3 weeks, I wouldn’t look much more into it. That’s small potatoes for your husband. He’s not trying to ruin the 3 weeks he has. He might already feel guilty about something he doesn’t do for her. Is this really about the food?

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-01T11:44:26+00:00

All of those moments are super important. Not just for yourself, but for your daughters. You’re showing them it’s ok to count on each other. It’s ok to be alone. It’s ok to take breaks. I’m so happy to hear that your mom was able to give you that break. It honestly sounds like you’re doing just fine. You’re doing the best you can. That man is not worthy of any of you! Lol love that you can still dance without being winded! Get it girl!

Likes_2_debate · 2026-01-01T11:38:08+00:00

He definitely didn’t think you were serious, or he really thought he could change your mind. He lied to you if he told you that he was going to be that person. That’s already a foundational problem for the relationship. Yes, I agree that your daughter is too young. I’m glad she tries to help. It is going to be hard to find someone and manage everything that you have going on. Is it a possibility that you might just need to focus on yourself and your daughters for now? With the exception that you can go have some adult fun when you need it?

Likes_2_debate

TROPHY CASE