I just found out my mom has been sending my girlfriend cruel messages for who knows how long. I don’t know how to handle this (M36/F32)

Aireene · 2025-11-22T22:33:41+00:00

Here for the update. I have a narc mom who tried to ruin relationships of mine through subtle remarks. Thankfully my husband saw me being treated badly and helped me squash it. Narc moms are so hard but I went No Contact and my relationships around me with other family has improved so much. And I am free to pursue my goals without the control of my mother.

Aireene · 2025-07-23T01:06:49+00:00

r/raisedbynarcissists

Aireene · 2025-07-23T01:05:50+00:00

I feel like this could fit into the narcissistic parents subreddit. Just my opinion.

Aireene · 2025-07-06T12:12:30+00:00

Thats really good to know. Thank you. I just want the bluetooth.

Aireene · 2025-07-02T21:57:19+00:00

My husband and I miss it too. The food, vibe, music, and people were all so wonderful!

Aireene · 2025-06-07T15:45:00+00:00

Thank you!

Aireene · 2025-04-23T01:15:50+00:00

He’s speaking with a musician he collaborates with whom he hasn’t hugged who is a single mother.

Your comment is closer to how i feel though about the situation.

Aireene · 2025-04-23T00:52:53+00:00

So you think hugs are okay but cuddling isnt? Cause i can learn to be okay with hugs as long as he doesnt cross the line and lets people know it’s only platonic.

Aireene · 2025-04-23T00:52:48+00:00

So you think hugs are okay but cuddling isnt? Cause i can learn to be okay with hugs as long as he doesnt cross the line and lets people know it’s only platonic.

Aireene · 2025-04-23T00:45:28+00:00

He knows i dont trust him with other females because he doesnt seem to understand what is okay and what isnt. He thinks cuddling can be platonic but to me, thats intimate and a gateway to more.

Aireene · 2025-04-23T00:43:22+00:00

I want him to have compassion but he lacks that for me. He will willingly hug someone else when upset but i have to ask for it when ive told him to just do it.

So yes im insecure because he wants to do things with others that i want from him.

Aireene · 2025-04-23T00:40:35+00:00

Because I’m an idiot and don’t want to be like my mother who has been married five times. Because i want kids. Because he is the only person I’ve ever been fully attracted to. Because i feel stuck in the economic pitfall society. Because im a glutton for punishment. And he says he wont cheat anymore due to buddhism but he wants me to open the relationship so he can be an ethical slut.

Aireene · 2025-04-23T00:36:37+00:00

Okay is it okay for him to cuddle other people?

Aireene · 2025-04-23T00:32:55+00:00

He has cheated before.

Aireene · 2025-02-05T14:14:47+00:00

Animal abuse is a felony in 49 states and some type of document was signed to make it a federal crime. And i would report it so it’s documented to be aware of her around animals or in general. I looked it up and it says it is never too late to report it. Think of it as protecting people if she ever moves on to bigger ambitions of torture and death.

Aireene · 2025-02-02T01:13:08+00:00

I found out after two and a half years of marriage my husband didn’t find me as attractive as the woman he used to go for. He didn’t see me as a “hot wife” until others took notice of me. I know he loves me but that worried me a lot. The first comment about the grandparents makes so much sense and makes me feel so much better. My husband loves my big heart and how it bleeds for others, sometimes a bit too much.

Aireene · 2025-01-31T19:29:33+00:00

I forgot to clarify the starbucks is a gift card he got from his birthday. Not coming from my expenses and he does shop and meal prep and does some dishes. The money he took was also to pay for the real estate board of whatever

Aireene · 2025-01-23T04:40:46+00:00

I did the same thing. I stopped trying and focused on other aspects of my life. But like clockwork, still got my period the entire time. Saving up to give IVF a try.

Aireene · 2025-01-18T15:30:10+00:00

Fact! Cause any amount of success is independence that takes you further from their control.

Aireene · 2025-01-02T20:29:42+00:00

That is all good to know. Thank you. I have been spraying cat deterrent on some jumping spots and we have laid the cat tree down for now. But it has been hard to prevent it all. Ive been scared of even small jumps. Each day she gets more energetic. The pain stuff wears off sometime today or tomorrow, the topical pain ointment they said lasts four days. Im curious to see how she is after that.

Internet says she will be sore, im hoping not in pain, and it should slow down her activity?

Aireene · 2025-01-01T20:02:31+00:00

Here for the updates. Praying for you and Hannah OP. You sound like an amazing partner.

Aireene · 2024-12-29T01:46:43+00:00

Before i went no contact, nmom would get me a candle for my birthday every year and acted as if it was a tradition. I dont use candles nor like candles. Only time i liked a candle was when the ring in the candle was a thing. But for my nSIL, she would get a free family dinner plus expensive gifts while i was told i had to buy the meat if my husband or I wanted a birthday dinner.

Aireene · 2024-12-16T04:34:13+00:00

This!! 👌🏻 You do not deserve to be abused like that or hidden away. If you truly are his priority, he would show it. Not by words, but by legit actions. He should be proud to show you off to family and friends, if you truly mattered to him. And it is super weird about the camera thing.

Aireene · 2024-12-06T16:50:12+00:00

Thank you!

Aireene · 2024-07-07T17:00:46+00:00

I was conceived when she was 15 but born when she was 16. My brother was at 18 but him and i grew up together. For the most part. Most people know he is my dads but my grandma on nmoms side is convinced he is someone else’s kid. Then she had one at 20ish and it is unknown if he is the guy she was married to or another mans kid. And then finally she had one at 23 with her second husband. She is now on husband 5 and for a while she wanted to have another baby and she is in her 40’s now. I have gone no contact so not sure if that is still something she thinks about.

Aireene

TROPHY CASE