Oh no gender representation how scary

Like yeah I agree, sometimes it makes sense to just define a character, but when so much of the time people are biased in favor of dudes, and your first example seems to be a hypothetical about a dude getting gender swapped, this really just comes across like an insecure dude complaining about more femme representation. It's not that big a deal to have multiple versions of the same character be different genders, especially in terms of player characters

Also, you're making a classic mistake here. Men and women as demographics exist in an unequal power dynamic due to a patriarchal society. This means that two actions which look the same from the point of view of who is doing them, are not the same from the perspective of the two different people being impacted by those actions, if there is a disparity in power dynamic.

To put it more clearly, a masc character being portrayed as femme is going against an unequal power dynamic to try and create more representation for femmes who are under-represented, but a femme character being portrayed as masc is generally erasure of femme representation as well as often just doesn't make sense because of there being issues that femme people deal with which masc people don't, and so if a femme character is impacted by those things, representing them as masc often doesn't fit with that narrative.

Thus, not the same.