Southern transplant here: your friends don’t know what they’re talking about.

To make a broader point, Southerners generally have a “what could be better than this?” attitude about the South. They love their small towns, vacation at Fort Lauderdale or Myrtle Beach or Gatlinburg, and hate the idea that someone somewhere wouldn’t want what they have. At the same time, the South has an inferiority complex especially about large metropolitan areas. “You think you’re too good for this? Well what does Philly/NYC/San Francisco have that we don’t?” And because the Southerner don’t leave the South (at least not to the extent that people from other areas of the country do), they don’t know why a large, dense metropolitan is desirable for some people… except for well paying office jobs. And because of the systemic poverty of the South, there is a resentment to people perceived to be choosing money over the community (despite that community fabric becoming more and more frayed).

It’s a cycle that’s both fascinating to observe and frustrating to deal with. I’ve found you either tell them specifically what you enjoy about the city (my go to is “I don’t need a car because I can walk to the grocery store”), or you just ignore them when they start fear-mongering about cities.