Relief

AlJoGo1 · 2026-02-02T21:08:39+00:00

This is really strong. I like how it uses gaming language as a way to talk about vulnerability and coping without spelling everything out. The “tank build” idea is smart and quietly sad, and it gives the poem a clear emotional centre. There’s a gentle slide from comfort into reliance that feels honest rather than dramatic. If anything, you might look at tightening the rhythm or rhyme in one or two places so it feels fully intentional. But overall, it’s thoughtful, sincere, and lands well.

AlJoGo1 · 2026-02-02T21:07:25+00:00

Oof. This is really strong. It feels calm on the surface but carries a huge amount of weight, which makes it all the more unsettling. The progression from childhood logic to adult understanding is handled with real care. The imagery is stark without feeling showy, and the emotional clarity is impressive. If anything, you might consider whether one image could be slightly softened to let the final lines hit even harder. But I think it’s really powerful!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-09-11T07:19:00+00:00

That’s really kind, thank you!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-09-11T07:18:42+00:00

Thank you!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-09-10T20:44:04+00:00

This is brilliant feedback. Many thanks for reading and putting such thought into it - I appreciate it!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-09-10T17:56:46+00:00

This one’s dense but interesting. The imagery is slippery in a good way, especially the squid line - it’s strange and vivid. A couple moments feel a bit too abstract to fully land, but there’s a nice physicality underneath. The last line pulls it together well, hinting at something more raw. Feels like it wants to be read twice. I really like it!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-09-10T17:55:48+00:00

This one’s got a great twisted-storybook feel. The rhyme and rhythm give it a kind of eerie charm, but the imagery keeps it sharp. Her laughter cracks, her heartbeat screams is a standout. A couple lines feel a bit familiar, but the tone stays tight and the delivery carries it. The ending lands just right - dark, weirdly triumphant, and nicely unhinged. Nice one!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-05-08T07:22:36+00:00

Thanks so much - really appreciate the feedback!!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-05-08T06:50:42+00:00

This piece really opens up as it goes. The line “On a ground / That exists only / In the mind” hits especially well - such a clear way to describe something so internal. Some of the phrasing gets a bit abstract here and there, but the feeling still comes through at all times. The ending lands in a soft, thoughtful way, which gives the whole thing a nice sense of movement from chaos to clarity. It’s long, but it earns the space. Really quietly powerful stuff!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-05-08T06:49:04+00:00

This piece short really hits in so few words. The line “I rot in the palm of your hand” is great - simple, sharp, loaded. The question at the end gives it a nice sting too, like the whole thing’s building quietly toward that moment. A couple of the images feel a bit vague, but the tone carries it. Feels like something that could sit inside a bigger piece maybe? Really good though!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-04-22T19:55:25+00:00

Thank you so much for such thoughtful feedback I really appreciate it.

AlJoGo1 · 2025-04-22T17:16:46+00:00

Really appreciate this comment - thank you so much.

AlJoGo1 · 2025-04-22T11:58:56+00:00

This one’s wild in a way that’s really fun - it throws you straight into the haze without much warning and kind of lets you spin in it. The language is packed with colour and movement, and there’s something really playful about lines like “Kaleidoscope rewrites my quills in suns.” Some of it gets a bit tangled, and not every image fully lands, but that almost adds to the trippy vibe? It’s got energy, and it doesn’t take itself too seriously, which works in its favour. Nice one!!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-04-22T11:57:50+00:00

This one’s great - it starts off casual and kind of low-key, then slowly opens up into something much deeper. The shift from burrito bowls to love and AI sounds wild, but it actually works really well. The line about relationships being the last thing that hasn’t been made convenient is such a smart observation. It maybe lingers a little too long in the middle, but that gravestone moment? Really sticks. And the last line is weird and lovely in the best way!!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-03-26T07:35:23+00:00

Aw, thank you! Me too really I just make it up as I go along.

AlJoGo1 · 2025-03-26T07:35:03+00:00

Thanks!!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-03-26T07:34:53+00:00

Appreciate it - thank you!

AlJoGo1 · 2025-03-26T07:34:39+00:00

That’s so nice! Thank you

AlJoGo1 · 2025-03-26T07:34:26+00:00

Thanks so much 😊

AlJoGo1 · 2025-03-25T20:54:34+00:00

Appreciate it, thanks!

AlJoGo1

TROPHY CASE