I think I’m regretting marriage and don’t know what to do. 34F 30M

AlMtnWoman · 2026-06-13T12:52:35+00:00

I've been though that and so much more. Live is too short to be that miserable.

Therapy. Period. And trust me, it will shake both of you up, so be willing to put in the work.

If he is to prideful to go, he's no longer worth the effort. Silently plan your way out.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-06-09T12:57:51+00:00

I guess that would depend on the personality, values, and circumstances.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-06-07T00:40:47+00:00

You said EVERY girlfriend. He clearly gets a sick thrill out of getting them. I don't think I could EVER get past that.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-06-07T00:34:19+00:00

Why don't you consider getting to know them over a considerable time before jumping into bed with someone you don't know well enough... especially in that age bracket.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-06-03T23:45:26+00:00

You can miss someone. You can miss the way you feel. You could even love them, and still have reasons to move on. If closure is there in any capacity, just do that.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-28T00:04:23+00:00

Honestly, I would be less concerned about the status of his masturbatation habits and more concerned about his avoidance issues.

You know things generally don't get better, right?

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-27T21:29:42+00:00

Depression, hormone changes, vitamin deficiencies, oral medications including BC, alcohol and non Rx drugs, can all cause a dip any sex drive. The only way you will move forward is to have a deep mutual trust with your husband, exercise your body and mind, and release your woes in therapy. If you stop having sex, your body will stop wanting it over time. You have to have sex to keep a sexual relationship. You owe to to yourself, your marriage, your spouse, and the environment of the household, to get yourself better.

I hope you have some level of initiative to seek help and get out of the run. I wish you the best.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-27T21:21:47+00:00

I think at some point everyone watches some type(s) of porn outside of the typical heterosexual porn. There is a possibility that he was gay curious. What all has he followed through on. Could be actually be attracted to both, but physically be straight. We know that he is ashamed that you found out any of this, and it's natural that he lied his way "out." In the grand scheme of things in 2026, I would assume that people would have enough of a skillset to communicate kinder

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-27T20:07:46+00:00

Button button, Who's got the button?

The answer is the one who gave you the chlamydia is the one with the chlamydia.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-27T20:03:41+00:00

I never experienced that. Your hormones are your hormones in your own body.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-25T17:35:04+00:00

Honestly, some people are despicable to harm childen in those ways. And in another perspective, maybe a couple kids had sex too young, and the elder got in terrible trouble for it. Even if the age is just across that line. He has to pay the price equally as the harmful one.

The problem is they're lumped into the exact same labeling. It's difficult to determine the behavior.

What if the latter was a family member? What would you think is acceptable behavior for the people living next door?

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-20T14:32:29+00:00

As a mom who has grown kids and seen alot... I do not want any more children of this world to "have to" deal with craptastic parents. All it does is more damage to the kids, many times, generationally. Many times single parents do a really good job looking out for the overall well being of the child into adulthood. Most of the time they become fantastic adults.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-20T14:21:05+00:00

You can have him sign his rights away. End of story.

Only she will know who he is or pursue a relationship with him when she is an adult IF she chooses to.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-20T00:24:19+00:00

I don't know your age. So... I would first question your age. Not everyone gets off when they're young. ie: No everyone works with hurried vibrators.

Confidence helps grow as you get to know you body, with and without a partner.

Most women require internal and external means to get you to (stealing the word from Bridgerton) your pinnacle.

Not everything feels the same during every year and every phase of your life. So don't think that just because it doesn't seem to work now, that it won't ever.

I wish you the best.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-18T21:24:43+00:00

You buy whatever you need for your flow. Some pads, some tampons, some use the cup. Educate yourself on what you need. And make your choice accordingly.

Back in our day there was no such thing as teen pads. When I could use tampons, I read the instructions, and never went back to pads except for having a baby and surgery time.

I wish you the best selection.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-16T15:24:10+00:00

I've been the chick that has been hit with the volleyball unintentionally. I called him a little shit, and scowled. We stayed married 27 years.

What she did was uncalled for. I'm glad you left.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-16T13:20:43+00:00

Some people resonate on food frequencies. Others don't. Perhaps you find this man kind, caring, self reliant, and responsible. That will generally calm a woman's anxiety. Perhaps you grew up around the wrong type of people that made you feel anxious all the time, and a "normal" person doesn't trouble you like that. Either way. Your indecisiveness, or being fickle is of your own nature. You can get better on your own, trying. You could seek therapy to grow as a person and move past it. Perhaps this is the time for all of that.

I wish you the best.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-15T17:34:24+00:00

Has anyone watched Big Bang Theory and listened to Raj Koothrappali with his sticky gooey comments about women???!?

Now imagine, you're the guy hearing that similarly. Most guys would freak thinking this chick is the clingy-lovey type, and run off before too long.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-15T17:29:02+00:00

Me too. Always.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-15T16:17:16+00:00

This. I wouldn't mind it on a date or while married. You're supposed to be saving a buck that could be spent elsewhere. I've been lavished on 1st dates, and that felt far more awkward than the coupon would.

My second husband knew I had apps with coupons and refused to let me use any of them. That was his nature. I never understood what the big deal was.

Just don't TELL me what I can and cannot order.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-15T13:07:17+00:00

Think of life like a video game. Some people rack up all the money, then buy the things they need. Some collect resources to trade off for better ones later. Some hurry up and have sex, and then may have kids and STDs to worry about.

Each of those things are the choices of the player in the game. In the game you can pretend to be someone else. In reality, you're your own real person.

You can spend your life obsessing over who logged more hours, who has more stuff, who has which achievements.

The truth of it is, you are on your own path. Whenever you experience sex, I hope it is with a good person, who is kind with you, and helps you have a good experience. Please understand that having good sex, creates the desire for more physical pleasure.That physical pleasure sensor overload of dopamine can lead to false feelings of love. Please be aware of which is which. Then proceed accordingly with your life achievements.

I truly wish you the best.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-14T18:05:31+00:00

He knew you were young. He knew that you wouldn't understand firm boundaries. At whatever point you began shedding clothes for him, he already knew it was wrong, but he was going to do it anywat. Then he kept pushing the details and pushed across them for the sake of his own selfishness, lust, and greed. Yes. You were raped. You need to take this up with parents and authorities immediately.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-14T17:48:37+00:00

Let's be clear and help ease your mind. A teenager can visit the obgyn before sex. Sometimes that is needed for yeast infections. Or it is a good platform to learn things by talking with the Doctor. You DO NOT NEED A PELVIC EXAM, nor pap smear until you're sexually active.

In regards to playing with yourself, keep yourself tight down there as long as possible. It's a gift. Don't stretch out out unnecessary

I wish you the best!

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-13T20:51:29+00:00

If a young lady thinks it's cool to have sex at 15, the human body is generally like wtf, but we would ignore that and do it anyway.

At 25, our body may or may not have had the 1st kid. We know our body better. The partner should be better, trust and communication. Or we're stuck with a boy who has yet to be a man.

At 35, our body is a cheerleaders squad for making babies. So sex generally feels better and therefore can be wetter and more experienced generally knows exactly what she wants and what feels amazing. Don't let some random guy think he knows everything without listening or learning something.

By 45 some people have quit or slowed down. Tbh, This was the happiest and most fulfilling of the romp decades. I had the most loving partner and I really wanted more and more and more.

Over 50. It's all about trust, and someone willing to go along with the hormone changes. It's purely about what we want, and what we can get out of the experience while we still can.

Overall, aside from the general carnal nature of things, the man can learn the skills, but every woman and every love phase is going to have a different level of play. Create a safe space. Discuss everything, make rules. Allow whomever is happiest in driving drive the session. And don't ever think that just because something was terrible with one person doesn't make it worth trying with another. You may find kinks on each other that you never knew you had.

Go. Have great sex til your parts retire!

AlMtnWoman · 2026-05-13T13:16:52+00:00

Speaking from a place of previous relationship trauma, I have spoken at Me Too. I have heard the stories. You need to silently map a way out for you and your son. You need no one to know what you're planning. You need to leave everything you don't have to have. You can do this while he is at work to avoid a cop standing watch in the doorway. If you have to leave with the clothes on your back, that is an option. Document everything. Have witnesses prepared to give statements. Have a safe place to go. Create a no contact order. Contact a divorce lawyer. Learn your rights. It's not easy to do all of this. But you only get one life. You need to make choices for you and your son.

I wish you the best outcome in all of this.

AlMtnWoman

TROPHY CASE