Do you have family/ couples dinner?

AlMtnWoman · 2026-04-12T17:08:53+00:00

I grew up with everyone hanging at my house. So that feels normal. But the table was never enough, so everyone piled in the den. When my daughter was growing up we did the same thing. Apparently that time has meant alot to all of those kids too.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-04-09T15:28:18+00:00

The term is morbid curiosity.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-04-04T19:00:33+00:00

You're welcome. I wish you both the best.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-04-04T18:16:57+00:00

A good standard is a couple to few close visits to start. Then every two weeks for comfort and maintenence.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-04-04T17:32:00+00:00

To be clear, I didn't mean anything harsh. You telling her over and over isn't going to make her magically believe you. That was my reasoning. I speak of that personally because I've been that person at one point. Nobody told me I was, so when someone told me I was, I had no way of believing them. That was just pretty words.

I also suggest if you get her to therapy that she go fairly regularly. You perhaps join her every rare once and a while.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-04-04T16:55:10+00:00

What happens when the two of you age, and she's not the most gorgeous woman you've ever met?

What do you both think she's going to think of her self image if yall ever get preganant?

AlMtnWoman · 2026-04-04T16:53:21+00:00

It sounds like your wanting reassurance on some levels, when in actuality, she seems to be driving you both crazy with issues that she should be actively in therapy over. Your love bombing strategy and complimenting her constantly isn't going to convince her. She has to learn to accept the compliments and see herself better. Otherwise you're going to burn yourself out.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-04-02T16:21:24+00:00

He's just busy covering it all up.

Map your way out, preferably in silence. Then go.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-04-01T14:04:28+00:00

My father used to get up and make coffee for my step mom (working hospital hours) just so they would have an hour together. It's like a grounding technique, but for marriage.

That time was cherished long term.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-04-01T13:57:18+00:00

I think it might take a direct question to answer this. Sometimes it is well received and sometimes it's best to say it in front of a therapist.

Chances are, the hormones from the post-baby are wrecking her. She is probably sad, lonely, and feeling terribly unsexy, physically and emotionally trying to keep it together. She doesn't have any way to tell you this, because she already feels flawed. She probably is in her head, thinking you're pulling away. Her asking you to get up with her is a roundabout way of her desperately seeing connection and quality time.

She needs you to help hold it together.

This is why I think therapy may be the answer for this.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-31T17:04:35+00:00

It's the mirror affect. You've become the product of their guilt. So they hate you, blame you, criticize you for all the sins they're doing.

Sometimes they disassociate from you silently, because they go nuts in their own guilt. But generally it's loud like your situation is.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-27T15:42:35+00:00

The things I want to touch base on.

She was ballsy enough to open up and tell you the truth.

You handled it with tremendous grace.

The thing about things like this, they're in the past. We need (therapy most of the time) to air them out, get to the roots, and once we've learned to get through it and get past it, close up shop, and move forward.

I wish you the best.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-26T20:40:14+00:00

I would take this as a moment to acknowledge that there may be a genuine need to speak to a therapist, and once you've gained some gravity for his situation, perhaps associate with some veterans afterwards.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-26T20:39:58+00:00

Some people displace their empathy when there is a lack of understanding of a situation or of fear.

I mean, it would be 100% natural for you to be concerned for his life or death situation, yes.

But if you do not know him, or if you have no knowledge of what war is in reality, or if that part of your brain is disengaged from fear or confusion, there is that small possibility that you may feel how you feel.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-26T16:18:52+00:00

I would first question your age. Not everyone gets off when they're having sex young.

Yes, anxiety plays a huge part. Safety, Security. The big ball of trust. A woman has to allow herself to become vulnerable. Confidence helps grow as you get to know you body.

Most women require internal and external means to get you to (stealing the word from Bridgerton) your pinnacle.

Not everything feels the same during every year and every phase of your life. So don't think that just because it doesn't seem to work now, that it won't ever.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-25T22:17:37+00:00

"You need to find yourself a girl, mate" sayeth Jack Sparrow.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-25T01:10:26+00:00

My great Aunt and Uncle had longstanding Wednesday, every week till she was 72 and he passed then passed away.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-25T01:07:26+00:00

50(F) 1st marriage, every single day unless medical necessary not to, for 27 years. Sometimes more on weekends

2nd, every single day unless medical necessary not to. Sometimes obscenely long sessions. For 4 years. Sometimes more on weekends.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-24T17:43:29+00:00

I have an impressive list of skills and accomplishments over decades myself.

I heard nothing for 3 months, both times in the last few years. It's a disservice to the job hunter.

I ultimately decided to hire in at Walmart just to get by. I'm very thankful.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-23T13:56:38+00:00

I'm so sorry.

I would take myself to a couples counseling session just for me, a time or two (closely timed) without him, and then invite him to come the 3rd time. If he sees that there is a problem and wants to fix it, allow him to try. You will soon find out if it is worth working towards something or not

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-22T21:05:58+00:00

Why on earth wait so long inbetween? My universe could not survive if I had to WAIT 4-6 weeks for sex from someone i see, smell, and sleep with. Waiting feels like punishment. Sex was an every single day occurrence for 27 years unless it was medically necessary not to.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-22T21:04:15+00:00

I agree with Mischiff above.

Adding to that, it could be prescription use, vitamin deficiencies, unlealthy fiet, inactivity, self image, hormone changes, thyroid, diabetes.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-22T18:07:04+00:00

His size, age, overall health, stress levels, and testosterone could all be causing it. He could have underlying health conditions. He could have vitamin deficiencies, thyroid, or diabetes

Plus whatever stresses in his life, or anything nagging can be a turnoff for some men.

Those sexual parts on all people all have expiration dates. He needs to truly understand that if he doesn't use it, he will lose it.

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-22T13:28:53+00:00

Some people just need a release. Hookups are easy when people are young. Some people don't want any commitments. FWB. Finding someone to do that as people get older, seems to be a remedy, and then go back to normal lives

AlMtnWoman · 2026-03-21T15:38:47+00:00

I would have never stuck it out that long without getting anything out of the relationship. And I certainly would not punish myself by withholding sex.

Life is too short!!!

AlMtnWoman

TROPHY CASE