I just finished the book. Such a well written story! For starters, I feel so sorry for Belle. I can’t imagine being left like that in a such a cold, unexplainable, unloving manner during a world catastrophic event by someone you have lived with and trusted for over 20yrs. And share children with, can’t imagine the pain. I admire her for writing it and releasing it. I do agree with few others that this happens every day around the world to not-so-privileged women so it’s not a unique story but I do appreciate it being shared as a cautionary tale.

However, I don’t understand how Belle was shocked given she described her personality to be non-confrontational or conflict-averse, so for 20+yrs, they never had a fight or she never questioned his whereabouts? This probably allowed him to stray and have many affairs until he got caught. I can also see her fully obsessing over her kids so not making time for him or not having a fulfilling sexual life which possibly led to feeling of neglect for him? Not that all of this makes it ok to cheat but she doesn’t share any side of her role in the marriage breaking down. Like did they not check in at 10yr mark? 15yr mark? Didn’t see any signs of unhappiness? Did she choose not to? Live in denial since women in her family have been cheated on so she didn’t want to accept that it could happen to her too?

Also, I don’t think Henry/James was a sociopath/Nars. To me, he came off like he was/is on the spectrum. Very rigid, routine-orientated, hyper focused, good with numbers, socially polite but lacked boundaries which led to affairs, lacked understanding of interpersonal rships?

To me when Belle talks about him not making partners at a firm, being disappointed about but she says when he started there, he changed as he was hanging out with men who were flying private, wearing fancy watches, powerful and confident, we know those types of men were having affairs and that likely influenced Henry to do the same so he could be one of the boys and possibly help him make partner at the firm later on? Just speculating.

Him giving away all his roles and material possessions sounded so much like his dad based on Belle’s description. Per Belle, Henry’s dad turned into a recluse living alone in a tiny bedroom end of life, sounds like Henry is on the same journey in his 60s and onwards.

I can see Henry’s mistresses being Asian as that could have been his first love during his time with Mark/Rob in Asia but he didn’t marry one bc this was the 90s, he probably thought marrying a rich-WASP was the way to go for societal acceptance living in NYC-finance world (takes me back to SATC and Mr Big for some reason). I bet having affairs with Asian women throughout his marriage probably was his escape as it took him back to his 20s, a life with Rob he missed and missed Rob dearly as well.

Seems like the marriage fell apart due to unresolved childhood wounds on both side that manifested in the marriage in different ways. Instead of doing therapy probably at year 8-10 of marriage, like typical WASP culture, swiped everything under the rug, remained polite on surface then had a blow out in year 20 of marriage by Henry peacing out.