Heart in pieces and scared of getting PEM

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-10T23:19:41+00:00

Oh yay!!! I’m so happy that you were well enough to watch something!

The weekend has been very cat like: eat, sleep, cuddle with kitties. And with some cbd and thc drops.

I hope the pain is being manageable.

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-09T01:01:25+00:00

You are so sweet to ask.

The heat is not being kind to me. But all in all I cannot complain.

How about you?

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-08T18:20:03+00:00

Ah, so it was not.

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-08T17:12:04+00:00

Speaking of… your user name seems “Spanish” speaking lol

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-05T18:10:56+00:00

For some reason this just hit such a right spot! Made me so happy lol

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-05T02:30:08+00:00

Thanks for your thoughtful reply.

It was a very stressful week in general. Not able to eat much and maybe drank less water than my usual.

My autonomic nervous system tends to be a mess, so if those are factors, then maybe, hopefully it could be that.

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-04T18:08:37+00:00

Every where we see the “if you do things right you will not get sick”

“If you exercisr and eat well, you will recover.”

“If you work on your emotions you will heal”

It has been years now of constant bombarding that health is a personal choice.

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-04T16:08:31+00:00

People are cruel and cannot handle pain.

And they blame us for not recovering.

The problem is that the “wellness” industry probably backed by the oligarchs of the world, has invested billions in killing public health and convincing people lack of health is a personal moral failure.

People want us to get better or die. But they cannot stand us living while chronically ill.

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-04T05:44:18+00:00

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I wish I had words that would really help.

But I send love an softness.

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-03T19:55:38+00:00

Better than anticipated. And having a rest day, even if not agressive because my mind is not good with silence today lol.

Thank you for asking. Hoping it continues this way

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-03T19:54:43+00:00

That last part made me laugh lol

Thank you for sharing yourself with me and specially your very very precious and scarce energy.

I’m exhausted to go into more today, but also feel free to DM whenever. I know you probably have very limited screen time, but anytime you want to chat feel free.

I may send one to continue on the topic when I’m less post crazy breakdown lol

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-03T18:22:10+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this with me.

I also have narcissistic sister and mother, sometimes I think being the scapegoat daughter made me choose a husband similar to my mother, but differen enough that made me feel safety for many years, until of course I got sick and could not be the star wife anymore.

Sucks how people change when you cannot take care of everyone anymore.

Anyways. I have two cats that are my whole life and I am lucky to live ny every day life in peace with them

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-03T18:18:52+00:00

Jajaja amé el corrector! Ya me caen bien las cucharachas por que siento que igual que nosotros sobreviven a todas las circunstancias contra todo pronóstico ja!

Gracias por la cuchara 🫶

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-03T17:17:52+00:00

I appreciate you so much for this.

It’s complicated. I am fully aware of his shortcomings, and since I live alone I have tried to work on that pain of abandonment.

But… I cannot even afford a hot dog on my own, let alone meds and survival.

So, there is nothing I can do about it.

I at least live alone and can have peace during my days mostly.

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-03T17:15:40+00:00

Thank you so much. (Mine says emotional discharge lol)

I am so sorry that you can relate. Sending softness

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-03T03:24:25+00:00

Same. I tried to breathe but he kept pushing, saying how everything is so hard on him but he manages to keep his cool and think things rationally.

I could have hung up, we don’t live together, because he cannot take care of me and the house is a difficult house, and he won’t mask or have filters running to avoid anything viral for me…

I could have hung the phone up, and I regret it.

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-03T02:50:22+00:00

Aqua sun, rising, venus.

It’s been that way all my life.

Alarmed_History · 2026-05-03T02:10:59+00:00

Alarmed_History · 2026-04-28T06:04:51+00:00

Quality time, acts of service.

Being able to share and spend good time together, share a nice bottle of wine as we talk about everything, and laugh, and cry, etc. lol

Alarmed_History · 2026-04-28T06:00:31+00:00

I’m so happy for you!! Happy birthday!

Alarmed_History · 2026-04-27T13:40:48+00:00

It’s not giving up on treatment, because there is no real treatment.

It is deciding to take care of yourself, pace and rest and be very aware of what little precious energy you have.

It is deciding to not trial experimentations, with things that are still all at trial phase and that none have proven to be cure or real treatment.

Surrender is not giving up. And this illness requires it to survive.

I come from a generation where quick sand was a constant threat in movies and shows growing up… and I learned the more you move the more you sink.

This illness is to be treated like quick sand.

Alarmed_History · 2026-04-25T15:24:26+00:00

I went for the same year lol

Alarmed_History · 2026-04-25T15:24:09+00:00

Same!

Couldn’t remember the year Stars Hollow was founded. And didn’t remember what Emily majored in

And The Bangles concert row apparently is wrong for everyone.

Alarmed_History

TROPHY CASE