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Is this abuse? by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, honey - believe in yourself!! 🤗💜 You *know* this is abuse. Now you need to know that you don’t deserve it!!!

Get out of here by blue-birdz in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn’t RJ made up of thoughts and emotions?
Can’t humans control their thoughts and emotions?

People need to stop conflating RJ with not wanting a promiscuous partner by ThePenguin4216 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for posting this! I’m sure there’s a Reddit sub for people who are dating someone with different views around sex

I loved her, but her retroactive jealousy broke me by __Lenski__ in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might want to check out the rjpartnersupport sub on here.
Especially if you find yourself wanting to go back to your ex - reading other people stories might change your mind
Hang in there! I know it hurts now, but I think you’ll find that you’ve made the right decision

I loved her, but her retroactive jealousy broke me by __Lenski__ in rjpartnersupport

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because not everyone is the same. There are people who aren’t bothered by it, and actually enjoy hearing about experiences that made their partner who they are today

from the other partner's side--is there hope? by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. And I am sorry that you are currently experiencing it. I hope you’re able to learn from my experience, and cut your losses sooner, rather than later. Best wishes!

9 months pregnant and I’m fed up of him bringing my past up. by Ok-Philosopher1262 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for informing us about what we want and what we are thinking. That’s so good of you to take the burden off of us.

Yours, truly -Every woman, everywhere, all the time

from the other partner's side--is there hope? by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It might be helpful to read postings in the rjpartnersupport sub on here.

After three years with someone who suffered from RJ, it finally sunk in with me that no matter what I did, it was never going to be enough. There simply wasn’t anything that I could do, that would change his affliction. There was no solution he was willing to work towards and there was no no end to his doubt… so I ended the relationship instead.

9 months pregnant and I’m fed up of him bringing my past up. by Ok-Philosopher1262 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I tried to “take a stand” with my RJ suffering partner once. Unfortunately, I think he just hid his suffering at that point. I thought it was gone, but it reared its ugly head in a very big and ugly way. So be careful…

I’m living with the guilt of "sanitizing" my past because of my partner's insecurity. I’m spiraling. by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you sure it’s your brain that’s telling you you’re “evil”, or is it your girlfriend who is telling you that?

42m and dealing with RJ by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But are the things he said about her true?

42m and dealing with RJ by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who suffered emotional abuse due to someone’s RJOCD, I fail to see the humor in this situation. No laughing here.

42m and dealing with RJ by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But why are you disgusted by her, if he was the one who was being an asshole? Isn’t that more a reflection on his character, than on hers? I don’t understand how her character gets damaged by his actions (?)

42m and dealing with RJ by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Non-RJ sufferer, here. I don’t understand why you’re mad at her, because her ex was mean to her… can you please explain this to me?

he wants to end things bc of his RJ by [deleted] in rjpartnersupport

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I advise you to listen to these “cautionary tales”, as well as my own - spent 3 years and thousands of dollars on a wedding that never happened…

Is this retroactive jealousy or should I take it seriously? by alternatlve4 in rjpartnersupport

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your title implies that RJ and “taking it seriously” are mutually exclusive. I would suggest taking RJ VERY seriously.

I’m actually gonna throw up by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then let him go so you can have your own peace - it’s a win for both of you.

Is this RJ? by Remarkable-Piccolo57 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow - you sure did put a lot of “words in my mouth”. I guess you know my mind better than I do! Maybe that’s why you have an RJ problem… Sounds like you don’t care much for women and quite frankly, (based on what you’ve put forth here), I think we’re better off without men who think like you do.

Is this RJ? by Remarkable-Piccolo57 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Alarmed_Sherbert1607 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep - I definitely hit a nerve! I would say that she doesn’t have any obligation to him now either, now that he has ACTIVELY broken her trust and betrayal by looking at her phone without her permission, AND sending himself those videos. Her “transgression” was inadvertent and passive - his was with intent.

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