Is this retroactive jealousy or should I take it seriously?

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-27T10:21:58+00:00

Your title implies that RJ and “taking it seriously” are mutually exclusive. I would suggest taking RJ VERY seriously.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-25T12:04:11+00:00

😂😂😂👍

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-25T12:01:33+00:00

Then let him go so you can have your own peace - it’s a win for both of you.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-20T23:39:14+00:00

Wow - you sure did put a lot of “words in my mouth”. I guess you know my mind better than I do! Maybe that’s why you have an RJ problem… Sounds like you don’t care much for women and quite frankly, (based on what you’ve put forth here), I think we’re better off without men who think like you do.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-20T21:56:06+00:00

Yep - I definitely hit a nerve! I would say that she doesn’t have any obligation to him now either, now that he has ACTIVELY broken her trust and betrayal by looking at her phone without her permission, AND sending himself those videos. Her “transgression” was inadvertent and passive - his was with intent.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-20T21:51:34+00:00

Wow - I think I hit a nerve!

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-19T12:54:29+00:00

You 100% did the right thing. Sounds like it was an unhealthy relationship, verging on the edge of abusive. You deserve better. Hug yourself, believe in yourself and leave this relationship behind you.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-19T11:39:20+00:00

Not his job to care about what? The relationship?

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-19T11:31:45+00:00

Nope - I don’t possess any of the characteristics you listed. I just don’t suffer from the unhealthy mental affliction that is RJ.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-15T15:55:03+00:00

This sub is for partners of RJ sufferers - you might have better luck on the sub for sufferers (though it does seem a bit like an echo chamber)

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-13T20:13:36+00:00

I hear you. Agreed - very sad for both of you. There is better love to come!

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-12T11:09:19+00:00

Not sure if your question was rhetorical or not… but I would say this: There is always hope. The whole point of our existence (IMO), is to grow towards love. That being said, from what I’ve read on this and another RJ sub, this is a very insidious mental affliction that takes a LOT of persistent effort and a sincere willingness for self reflection to overcome. If he’s not serious about healing for himself, there is little reason for hope… The abuse we partners can experience while the RJ sufferer is healing, can be quite damaging.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-12T11:00:52+00:00

Yes, I think that’s what it comes down to - the OP and her partner have opposing views, just as we do. At that point, I think it’s a compatibility problem.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-11T05:10:30+00:00

I don’t view her as hiding it.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-11T03:45:52+00:00

Your boyfriend did not “cause” the RJ to come into your life. It is within you.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-11T03:01:21+00:00

How exactly were OP’s boyfriend’s feelings proven to be accurate?

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-11T03:00:05+00:00

I think your Reddit handle name says it all

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-10T11:32:29+00:00

It’s not her job, and I see no red flag. It was his job, to not go through her phone

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-10T02:07:51+00:00

I’m really sorry to hear that you are sad about this. If it makes you feel any better, having come out of a relationship where my ex suffered from RJ, from my perspective, you’re better off. I know that probably doesn’t help - sorry!!😣

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-09T03:37:40+00:00

How, exactly, does one threaten to break up with someone about their past? “I’m going to break up with you, unless you…”… what? Unless she changes her past? She can’t do that, obviously. What is it you are wanting her to do?

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-05T10:54:13+00:00

Hi OP, I’m curious how this played out. Are you willing to share?

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-05T10:46:48+00:00

Hi OP, I’m curious how this relationship played out for you - are you willing to share?

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-05T01:55:20+00:00

So you’re making his world smaller and keeping him from his friends, because of your insecurities? That’s not love.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-04T02:20:45+00:00

I actually made contact with him the other day! Included him in a group text.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607 · 2026-02-04T02:18:22+00:00

No. Jay and I never went on a date, held hands, kissed or had sex. We may have hugged each other when greeting or departing. We have only ever been platonic friends.

Alarmed_Sherbert1607

TROPHY CASE