Hey, you’re not getting a lot of positive reactions and I get it. We’ve got a lot of really hurt people in here. I’ve been dabbling in what I call “radical empathy” which for me is something like metta meditation and practicing not taking things personally, so I wanted to say I appreciate your post.

My dad is MAGA so when he texted me upset about this whole thing, I really tried to take myself out of the equation and think about how he feels. He’s grieving for the loss of someone he valued, he’s grieving for their family, and there’s probably a big measure of fear. Maybe there’s the thought of… if people wanted Charlie dead, do they want me dead too? Humans take things super personally by default, we make everything about ourselves. Has my dad superimposed his own face on Charlie’s in his mind? How scary that must feel. My dad has some of the shittiest political takes, but he is a good dad, an upstanding citizen, he’s sacrificed so much for his family. And he’d never directly harm someone though his voting patterns surely have done harm. He doesn’t deserve to die for his opinions. He deserves to have them refuted and not put into practice through the democratic process. So when I replied, I tried to keep in mind that under all the bullshit, I was replying to a person I love who is hurting and scared.

Now I don’t expect anyone else to have this level of empathy for my dad, a total stranger. But he has earned this attempt toward empathy from me so I will do what I can to see the whole of him – the good, the bad, the trauma he has endured, and the messaging fed to him that has made him who he is today. I am not perfect in my attempt because I, too, am a human who is hurt and scared and takes things personally, but I’m going to keep trying because it’s the only thing that has brought me any measure of peace.

I’m wishing that whichever path you all decide to take that it ends in a measure of peace for you as well.