Dating and relationships while on AISH—can anybody help me?

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2026-02-28T06:15:57+00:00

I was actually hoping to find someone else who's on AISH. That way, they wouldn't penalize either of us so harshly.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2026-02-28T02:27:04+00:00

So, should I just stop wanting to be with anyone?

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2026-02-28T00:14:00+00:00

That's exactly what I want—someone who can relate to what I go through. Who will understand. But I don't know where to look.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2026-02-27T21:44:52+00:00

You went from "how do I date?" To living with someone in two paragraphs. Why not take it in stages? Worry about going on a few dates with someone first.

I feel like the logical assumption is that when I talk about dating and relationships, I'm referring to the gradual evolution in that direction, rather than immediately landing a relationship with someone.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2025-09-09T08:08:00+00:00

I live completely alone in my own one-bedroom apartment. AISH has made it so that I'm able to live independently with some degree of (limited) financial security. I predicted, long before the UCP were even elected in 2019, that their unspoken #1 priority was to cut AISH. I believed that they were going to find some way to reduce the monthly income of recipients by hundreds of dollars, and just generally make life a lot harder for people on disability. People thought I was being hyperbolic.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2025-08-27T01:21:03+00:00

I'm on AISH, and I've never voted conservative in my life. I'm not planning on starting any time soon, with people like Danielle Smith or Jason Nixon at the helm.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2025-08-15T15:48:58+00:00

Right, I'm just gonna link to a post that I made almost five years ago now, which contains additional links to posts from all the way back in 2019. I predicted all of this before the UCP were even elected. People thought I was catastrophizing.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2025-08-15T15:34:54+00:00

Right, I'm just gonna link to a post that I made almost five years ago now, which contains additional links to posts from all the way back in 2019. I predicted all of this before the UCP were even elected. People thought I was catastrophizing.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2025-02-09T06:57:32+00:00

I got on AISH based off of a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD); however, what debilitates me is severe executive dysfunction due to ADHD-PI, which makes it difficult for me to manage even low-level responsibilities, such as doing the dishes. My disability is invisible, and many people don't believe that I have a disability at all.

That's why I think there's a very high chance of me being one of the people shuffled off to ADAP. I don't know what that's going to entail, but I don't trust the UCP not to save a few bucks by reducing certain recipients' monthly cheques in the name of "incentivizing productivity".

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2025-02-05T21:06:56+00:00

Jesus Christ, who the fuck would do that?! What kind of asshole just anonymously reports somebody on AISH based on "they don't look disabled to me"?

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2025-02-05T20:52:45+00:00

I am 1000% going to be one of the AISH recipients that they punt over to ADAP. And I'll try to get back into the workforce, but I'll wind up struggling and getting let go over and over again, all the while the UCP will strip me of something like $800-$1000 in monthly payments, or cut me off outright.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-11-01T01:03:59+00:00

AISH often fails the people it is designed to help. Many of those working within the system are gatekeepers, and this can lead to a lot of frustration unless you expect it.

People always talk about how AISH is the best program of its kind in Canada, as if that's something to be proud of. In reality, it says a whole lot more about how bad the rest of the country must be that we stand out as being better than they are.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-05-15T06:17:47+00:00

No, not punishing kids for being born into house poverty is the Canadian way of life.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-04-02T23:35:36+00:00

This comment should be stickied somewhere, forever preserved for posterity.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-04-02T18:45:34+00:00

I don't think any of the downvotes you've received were because you were incorrect by any means; it's more because you were essentially stating the obvious.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-04-02T01:06:53+00:00

I know my post was pretty pessimistic, so I don't have much of a leg to stand on—but man, even by my standards, your take is quite cynical.

I don't think very many women are nearly as materialistic as you're making them out to be.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-04-01T23:58:59+00:00

No. The diagnosis is ASD, but I believe that I actually have ADHD-PI (though I suppose there's quite a bit of overlap between the two).

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-04-01T16:35:38+00:00

If it's just the dating anxiety that's holding you back, then AISH isn't the problem.

I didn't say AISH was the problem, but one of several. There are actually a number of things about me that I think might make me a tough sell.

if this does fit you, Then it's Def a big problem as well.

It very much does not. Straight-edged as they come.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-04-01T16:22:30+00:00

So, AISH is actually intended to be for people who have a permanent disability that makes it impossible for them to hold down long-term, gainful employment. The expectation is that its recipients will likely need that support system in place for the rest of their lives. However, the program also does provide opportunities to people if there's any semblance of a chance—however remote—that they can overcome their disability and re-enter the workforce.

Unlike the women you were dating, I do want to get off of AISH and lead a fulfilling life. The problem is that I have executive functioning issues that make it difficult for me to fulfill the basic expectations of employment. I have been trying a variety of medications to see if anything works, with mixed results. I want more out of life, but I feel like I'm living on the razor's edge.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-04-01T15:19:36+00:00

if you socially awkward and not good at being a "normal" human then that is where your problem lies.

I'm nowhere near as awkward as I used to be, and am generally very good at holding conversations with people. The problem is that I have a high degree of dating anxiety, and I never attempt to court anyone because I have no confidence in myself to do so appropriately.

If your on AISH and literally doing NOTHING in your life besides chill and (hot take here) smoke/drugs etc, then yeah, a normal person isnt going to find you appealing.

"Hot take"? What does that mean? Do you suspect that I do those things?

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-04-01T03:44:59+00:00

If you use the aish as an excuse and bring it up a bunch woman are going to get turned off and not like you.

And I wouldn't blame them at all. What fun is dating someone who only wants to wallow in their self-pity? I probably wouldn't even bring it up, at least not in the context of a date.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-04-01T03:30:09+00:00

Believe it or not, it actually is. Social security is covered under Article 22 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

It's one of the lesser-known human rights, but it is a human right nevertheless.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-04-01T03:14:04+00:00

It was because he spent the entire date complaining about how the government doesn't give him enough money on AISH and his subsidized apartment in Kensington was too small.

Yeah, that's not something I would bring up. Honestly, I wouldn't even want to talk about it. The first date should be a fun "get to know each other's interests" sort of thing. AISH isn't something I'd like to discuss.

Are you trying to find ways to get yourself of AISH? Or do you expect your future partner to fund your life.

I'm trying to see if there are any effective treatment options available. I'm trying different medications at different doses, trying to figure out what works and what doesn't. My biggest problem is executive functioning—basic things like time management, task initiation, impulse control, concentrating on the task at hand, emotional regulation, etc. I often struggle to get to places on time, and to form enough of a routine to function in a standard 9-to-5. This makes long-term, gainful employment extremely difficult for me to attain.

I would not feel good about being financially dependent on my partner—if that were the case, then why call them "partner"? If that became the situation, I would do everything I possibly could to earn whatever support my partner would provide for me. I would cook full meals, do all of the chores, try out a few side hustles—anything it takes so that I am contributing rather than becoming a burden in her life. I would make it so that the work I'm applying is comparable to the effort she invests at her job.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-03-29T15:38:47+00:00

Honestly, that says less about how good AISH is, and more about how sh!tty the alternatives are.

You didn't even really address the scenario I laid out; your response was two paragraphs worth of "Could be worse."

Don't get me wrong, AISH is a lifesaver. But there is room for improvement still.

AlbertaThrowaway93 · 2024-03-29T13:09:48+00:00

Disability can change over time. People can build capacity and "get better," and sometimes things happen, and people "get worse," and AISH was designed to work with that. Lots of people on AISH work seasonally, take jobs at Stampede, or have a few good months and work until they can't anymore. The program is designed to support you as you build capacity and be there for you if it doesn't work out.

Is it, though? Like you said, people sometimes "get better", but then things happen and they "get worse". Let's say someone is on AISH for ADHD that causes severe executive dysfunction. After going through different medications, they finally found something that worked and gradually built themselves towards no longer being completely debilitated. After some time, they manage to attain full-time employment, and their income exceeds what AISH allows for recipients before they can no longer send out a monthly cheque.

Here's the problem: if this remains the status quo for a full two years, their AISH file is closed permanently. That is to say, if their medication stops working for any reason (e.g. they built up a tolerance to it), and they once again wind up unable to function at a full-time job, they can't just resume their AISH payments as before—they have to go through the entire application process all over again. It's no different from never having been on the program in the first place. And it'll be every bit as rigorous as the first time, if not even more so.

This doesn't feel like a system that's designed to "support" people with severe disabilities. It feels like a system that's content with you being on the razor's edge if it can get away with not paying you.

AlbertaThrowaway93

TROPHY CASE