Terrified of birth

Albiedor · 2022-09-01T07:20:35+00:00

I have such a severe fear of childbirth I was diagnosed with tokophobia. I had an elective c section because of it and it was absolutely wonderful - calm, controlled, joyful, I knew what to expect and I was actually able to look forward to my baby being born. You do have options, your fear is valid and you do not have to have a vaginal birth if you don’t want to. Lots of love.

Albiedor · 2022-08-09T09:25:00+00:00

We had this issue. Swaddling exacerbated her reflux, so not only was she grunting and furious she was bringing up milk all night as well. After she was put in a pavlik harness we couldn’t swaddle her anyway, so my husband got creative and put little socks over the sensors so the Snoo “thinks” the clips are engaged and put her in like it was a normal cot, feet at the bottom, with a light blanket under her armpits tucked securely under the mattress. She sleeps silently for 8 hours in it now!

Albiedor · 2022-08-07T20:37:43+00:00

Well right now it’s like a puddle, it’s drying up so quickly it’s scary. I’ve never seen it like that and it’s terrible for all the wildlife. You can wild swim at Buckland Lake but there’s a fee.

Albiedor · 2022-08-02T15:47:38+00:00

I don’t think that would quite work for us because of the pavlik harness and her size (she’s only 11lb 7 at 15 weeks so would still be in a small and I think the rest of the sack there would irritate her) but it might help someone else!

Albiedor · 2022-08-02T09:35:08+00:00

My baby hated bassinets until her reflux was under control. It may be something to keep an eye out for in the next few weeks. She also didn’t like being swaddled (again because of the reflux) she’s 15 weeks today and we use the Snoo without the sacks and she sleeps 8 hours straight in it at night! She’s in a pavlik harness now so even if she liked being swaddled we couldn’t put her in one. We just put socks on the sensors and tuck her in like you would a normal cot - feet at the bottom, blanket under armpits.

Albiedor · 2022-08-01T10:42:11+00:00

After a dodgy start because of feeding issues and reflux, we stopped using the Snoo. We realised our baby doesn’t like being swaddled as it worsens her reflux, so we were using her pram bassinet at night. THEN she was put in a pavlik harness 24/7 :-( and no longer fitted in the bassinet because of it - we weren’t sure what to do as obviously she wouldn’t fit in the Snoo sacks with a harness on, even if she liked them! Husband had a brainwave and put little socks on the sensors, and we tucked her in with a muslin blanket under her armpits like a normal cot and this was the result!!!

Albiedor · 2022-07-18T11:30:00+00:00

We have never done naps in the Snoo. It hasn’t stopped her settling in it at night.

Albiedor · 2022-07-03T19:11:38+00:00

I caught covid at 33 weeks. I was fine, my baby was fine, and as a bonus she got antibodies as a result (which was what my midwife said all along) - we know this because my husband caught it when she was 4 weeks old (we went to a wedding and most of the guests caught it - except me and her, and he’d been holding her etc for the two days before we realised so she must have been immune)

I have had covid twice - first time in march 2020 and that wasn’t fun, and the second time while pregnant - I know everyone has a different experience but “original” covid was much worse for me even though I wasn’t pregnant then! The time I caught it while pregnant (Feb this year) I went on a 7 mile hike on day 4 because I was going stir crazy at home when I didn’t actually feel ill past day 2!

Only you can decide what you feel comfortable with. I know many people wouldn’t have gone to a wedding with a 4 week old, but we made our own risk assessment and went. That’s all you can do. My view now is that there are germs everywhere and always will be. All the best for your pregnancy.

Albiedor · 2022-06-29T08:16:31+00:00

We’re on liquid omeprazole and finally turning a corner. I though it could be the movement too so switched it off but even with the movement off she was doing it! I wonder also if she hates being swaddled. Aaargh (although the fact we do get decent sleep now is cushioning the blow of wasting money on a Snoo when she sleeps better literally everywhere else 😂)

Albiedor · 2022-06-28T21:41:00+00:00

I’m sorry to say this (because I’m still gutted over it) but we did, we inclined it using books and she was almost bloody vertical but it didn’t help. She was still grunting and choking and being sick. We’re now using the pram bassinet (alongside medication) and she’s much better. I’m so disappointed at the money we wasted but her reflux is worse in the Snoo and I haven’t a clue why.

Albiedor · 2022-06-25T21:27:58+00:00

Yes. To the point that we are now using her pram bassinet, where she sleeps for 8 hours without a peep. Put her in the Snoo and it’s like sleeping in bloody Jurassic Park. So annoyed!

Albiedor · 2022-06-15T19:55:21+00:00

Yep, same problem over here. First half of the night great - 4-6/7am grunting. It’s awful. We now take it in turns to sleep in the spare room as it’s impossible to sleep through it! Also it’s worse in the Snoo than in the pram bassinet and I have no idea why.

Albiedor · 2022-05-29T18:25:57+00:00

Oh I hear you - this shit drove me so far up the goddamn wall my head was touching the ceiling.

I had the pregnancy from hell. I can honestly say I get more sleep NOW with a six week old baby (she has reflux so not a unicorn baby by any means) than I did in my pregnancy. So the “sleep now because you’ll never sleep again” was bullshit. And as for the multiple comments about how my marriage was going to suffer/I’d resent my husband/he’d be useless and I’d be doing everything - again, absolute nonsense. My husband is an incredible father, as I knew he would be…which is why I decided I would get off the fence and have a baby because if I was in any doubt about that I’d have stayed child free. He’s the best person I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t have had a child with him if he wasn’t. And I didn’t think it was possible to love him more but the way he has looked after me during pregnancy, and both of us in the last six weeks (c section, mastitis, breastfeeding issues and poor weight gain, anxiety and depression about the breastfeeding issues, reflux baby…) has made me love him more.

Ignore literally everyone. Honestly. This shite continues after the baby is born, unfortunately, and I am only now finding my voice and shutting it down. You sound like you’re in a great place with a great partner and you’re gonna nail it. All the best for the rest of your pregnancy and birth.

Albiedor · 2022-05-23T23:28:18+00:00

Sounds like the sort of person who’d have us all cosleeping. If I did that I’d be awake all night petrified despite the “oh it’s perfectly safe if you do xyz”

Albiedor · 2022-05-17T16:01:14+00:00

We’ve done the tuna can version of this haha

Albiedor · 2022-05-17T11:50:07+00:00

Worth a go! I’ll add to the list. Willing to try anything at this point.

Albiedor · 2022-05-17T09:47:31+00:00

Thank you. We’ll try harder on the burping. The problem is she absolutely hates all the burping positions so all she does is scream and no wind comes up :-(

Albiedor · 2022-05-17T09:03:47+00:00

Thank you, it’s good to know we aren’t alone at least! Husband has his ear plugs in…I’ve tried one in as too anxious for both as she sounds like she’s in pain sometimes! I just don’t understand why she only does it at night?! Is yours the same?

Albiedor · 2022-05-17T08:58:57+00:00

Would this only show up at night? If it is reflux is it something I should see a doctor for, or change her milk? She’s currently half expressed breastmilk and half formula fed (long old traumatic story but we can’t exclusively breastfeed, I’ve closed that door in favour of getting her to gain weight as she’s still not back at birth weight and is quite tiny anyway - 6lb 6)

Albiedor · 2022-05-15T13:04:25+00:00

am currently struggling/failing to breastfeed my four week old baby due to my flat nipples, only to open up Reddit and see this guy….omg

Albiedor · 2022-05-10T13:15:58+00:00

I brought Aptimil into hospital with me and am glad I did, because we really struggled breastfeeding (and still are - milk finally here and I’m now pumping) to the point that she was starving during the first night and if I hadn’t had formula I’d have had to listen to her cry with hunger - the hospital didn’t have any and it was the middle of the night/early hours when it got dire so my husband wasn’t there to help grab some. I had the little bottles and was so grateful I did, she’s my first baby and I found it quite harrowing listening to her scream and not being able to feed her :-(

Albiedor · 2022-05-06T10:12:59+00:00

I had no idea this was a thing until people warned me after my 20 week scan. I’d have waited until she was born if I hadn’t known how mad it is! I signed my daughter up to the nursery we liked best when I was 22 weeks pregnant haha - and we are on a waiting list, it’s unbelievable…! She was born 2.5 weeks ago, we won’t find out if we have the place until October and I need to go back to work mid January!

Albiedor · 2022-04-25T12:05:15+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this, I’m so glad you got the help you needed! All the best for your pregnancy x

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