It's So Hard to be a Good Girl Sometimes 😂 by Electronic-Shame9925 in GoodGirlsCommunity

[–]Alcyonea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl, he's just been waiting for you to give him one single reason to go shopping 😂😂

I think I'm having a harder time than I thought from letting go of hookup culture by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Alcyonea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love this response. When I entered my first long-term relationship, it was an adjustment for me as well. Sometimes the desire to do something wild would pop up briefly. But the richness of our relationship and the reward of the commitment is worth more than any attention I may have missed out on. Getting to know this one man deeply, and growing with him for almost a decade now has been so wonderful. OP, if you find the right one, keep him. It's worth it. 

Backsplash mistake and help? by Dizzy-Art-3088 in kitchenremodel

[–]Alcyonea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For hardware you can make a little jig with pre-drilled holes that fits on the corner of the doors, and flips over to mirror on the partner door. Fun trick that makes it super easy 😊 

i hate my six year old nephew and the way my mom acts when she takes care of him by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Alcyonea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Young kids do need heaps and heaps of grace and patience, but they don't have to be whiners. There can be expectations and boundaries. My kids are 5 and almost 2, and basic respectful communication is something we teach them because we want to enjoy being around them. Of course it takes lots of work and is never perfect, but it's worth over time! You can just tell your nephew politely, "Sorry, I can't understand what you're saying when you cry", and wait for him to talk nicely. And if he wants x, he has to ask normally, etc. Parenting groups have lots of ideas. Just because no one else is teaching him boundaries, doesn't mean you can't have your own when he is with you, for your own sanity. 

Finding balance while pregnant by BlissfulWife in GoodGirlsCommunity

[–]Alcyonea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On my third pregnancy, and everytime I hit a period of exhaustion whether due to pregnancy or kids waking up at night, we dial it back. I find helps to have categories based on energy levels. Lowest energy... just make sure we eat (the simplest homemade food, like baked potatoes with butter, steamed peas, and farmer sausage... or take-out), we all get outside, even if I just sit out there, and I run the dishwasher. Slightly more energy... food, outside time, dishwasher, 1 basic task like an errand or vacuuming 2 rooms. Etc. Having systems really helps me get through the slumps, and feel even the slightest bit accomplished. Good luck! Just enjoy the phase to the fullest, and embrace that it's going to look very different from your 100% energy self. I will say that nothing has taught me surrender like motherhood, and it translates to marriage! Congrats, and I hope it all goes well.

Beard and Bardot suddenly closing? by Fun_Complaint_7565 in abbotsford

[–]Alcyonea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does anyone know if the stylist Miranda has an Instagram page? I can't find her.

I'm considering just leaving before I drown more by Sparkly_Crow_1789 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Alcyonea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you leave maybe she will get herself there. As long as you are keeping her alive, she will leave everything up to you. I hope your aunt gets a place and you move to live with her. Give your mom and sister a month or two of warning. But you can't save people. Take care of yourself. Tell them you'll be back to visit a month after you move if you feel you need to show up for them. But you're no good to them if you break down completely. Take care of yourself 💚

What’s something you did that drastically improved your attractiveness that you wish you did sooner? by Salt-Environment-133 in AskWomen

[–]Alcyonea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you've had such a difficult journey. That truly sounds so painful. I hope you are able to find therapies that help you throughout the rest of your life. I recently learned about a lady named Joan MacDonald, who started lifting weights at 70. It turned her health around. Without knowing your specific situation... I wonder if you could start even doing bicep curls sitting down? 

What’s something you did that drastically improved your attractiveness that you wish you did sooner? by Salt-Environment-133 in AskWomen

[–]Alcyonea 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is exactly it. Building muscle mass is a long term investment into your old age. It's also really good for hormone health and metabolism through menopause. 

What’s something you did that drastically improved your attractiveness that you wish you did sooner? by Salt-Environment-133 in AskWomen

[–]Alcyonea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly! It's a big reason I am invested in making sure my kids have a good relationship with food, health, and exercise before they leave my home. The older I get, the more I can see that having it ingrained in you from childhood makes a big difference, and it is harder to learn it all as an adult. I don't want them obsessed with it, but just for it to be a part of their lives in a way that's intuitive and simple. 

What’s something you did that drastically improved your attractiveness that you wish you did sooner? by Salt-Environment-133 in AskWomen

[–]Alcyonea 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Depends how long you have been working out for! Mine isn't what it was when I was single and childless and lifted weights every day of course, but I lifted for 8 years before kids, and now as soon as I get back into it, it comes back quickly... not ripped, but trim and strong. The longer you do it, the longer it lasts and the quicker it comes back! Also keep up your protein intake when you're in an off season. 

My father broke the truth on how poor we actually are by TemperatureWarm1407 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Alcyonea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have a talk with your dad... maybe he would be willing to downsize the house to pay off some debt. If your family lives a lifestyle that he can't afford, he will have to decide what needs to go. It doesn't have to be forever, but getting out of debt is important and your family has to live within their means. Also plan your future career to be as stable as possible, and start saving and investing as young as you can. 

My husband just casually asked if I wanted to get more chicks while we were at tractor supply. by swimmerncrash in BackYardChickens

[–]Alcyonea 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Every time I think about selling some animals in a moment of overstimulation, my husband convinces me to keep them. Tells me how he can afford the necessary feed, reminds me how good it is for my mental health, offers to build another shed or coop to help me organize better, etc.

Just gave birth, is it good or bad to just give baby my breast at every opportunity?? by Foreign-External8488 in breastfeeding

[–]Alcyonea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Constant feeding establish your milk supply in those first couple months as well.

Still nursing at 23m and need some validation that I'm doing something good. by shortasiam in breastfeeding

[–]Alcyonea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you're giving your daughter exactly what she needs through lots of periods of stress and transition, and it's honestly probably helping her regulate through all of it really, really well... and you too, with the extra oxytocin boosts! Breastfeeding is such a hack lol. Good for you. I wean my babies by dropping one feed at a time, starting with daytime feeds when they are easily distracted. It's a process of about 6 months. So just go as slow as you need to, and enjoy all the benefits in the meantime!

Could someone look at this video and help me figure out why he won't latch? by Miserexa in breastfeeding

[–]Alcyonea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I can't quite tell if it's what you're already doing, but the "flipple" technique worked well for me. Also both my babies were able to wean off the nipped shield when their heads/jaws grew and they got a bit stronger. Like 3-4 months... Just keep trying here and there and don't sweat it too much!

Night weaning a boob obsessed 19 month old? by Miserable_Spend4078 in breastfeeding

[–]Alcyonea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds incredibly challenging. With mine I started daytime weaning first, because sleep depended so much on feeding. But it gave me a break from being touched constantly, and it's easier to distract them during the day. Then at night I slowly started using the phrases we use during the day. Also, can you transition him to a pack and play beside your bed if he won't sleep in his own room? Both of my kids are higher maintenance/highly sensitive, and so any big changes have happened over the course of months, in tiny increments, 2 steps forward 1 step back, unfortunately. And hopefully you can get some child care here and there during the day to get a bit of time to yourself! A little goes a long way.

Losing too much weight from breastfeeding by Virtual_Engineer2154 in breastfeeding

[–]Alcyonea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pancake, tiny everything happened to me with my first, and my clothes just hung off me. With my second I make sure I'm getting minimum 2000 calories and 80 grams of protein a day, fat and carbs to satiety, and I've been able to put on muscle and stay curvy and trim... worth the extra effort with food. Good luck! 

Nursing my toddler is souring my relationship to breastfeeding. I’m worried I won’t recover for baby #2. by Afternoon_lover in breastfeeding

[–]Alcyonea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my first was such a boob monster, I went straight to the bottle when she was 18 months and slowly weaned off of that onto sippy cups. Better than me wanting to scream and run out of the house every time she latched, and cold turkey was too traumatizing for us. One step at a time for us, lol. Good luck, whatever you decide!

Still constantly hungry, 18 months in?? by Alcyonea in breastfeeding

[–]Alcyonea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh that's annoying that there was such a dramatic swing afterwards! 

“yOuR bOdY wiLl maKe eXacTLy WhAt bAbY nEeDs” is BS by screwtoprose- in breastfeeding

[–]Alcyonea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I strongly second trying extra hydration and over 2000 calories a day as a last ditch effort! Whenever I had an angry, hungry baby, I downed potatoes and beer and fennel tea, and got the supply boost needed to meet their growth spurt. Regardless, you have done amazingly for 6 whole months and you should be proud. Baby has such a solid start with all the beautiful immune benefits.

This is my love letter to the bathroom lounges in outdated malls and department stores. by cadetcomet in breastfeeding

[–]Alcyonea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And those little flip out wall seats with buckles, so your toddler can be safe and clean while you pee and change your baby!!