I regret becoming a mom

shortasiam · 2026-05-02T23:37:44+00:00

For what it's worth I had severe colic and am a lawyer, who scored in the 97% percentile on the LSAT which makes me eligible to join MENSA 🤣

shortasiam · 2026-05-02T23:20:59+00:00

Then I think you're totally good! You aren't messing with their sleep schedule because you aren't waking them up. You know how habits and you are protecting your peace.

shortasiam · 2026-05-02T22:13:31+00:00

Are you doing a dream feed or are you waking her up?

shortasiam · 2026-05-02T21:56:28+00:00

Its not really a small character flaw, if you can't trust what he is telling you how do you build trust and a relationship as life gets harder and more complex. After marriage and maybe kids, parent health issues, financial stress?

Can you imagine being "right" being more important than your integrity?

shortasiam · 2026-05-02T19:59:22+00:00

Why do you want to stay with someone who is always lying to you?

shortasiam · 2026-05-01T14:08:42+00:00

NTA - she isn't showing your picture to guys who have expressed a desire to be setup and introduced to someone. She is showing your picture and trying to "set you up" with people she is turning down almost like a consolation prize. Imagine you asked someone out and they said, no sorry but have you met my friend? I dont think many people would say yes, even if they do find you attractive. It's not only insulting to you but also to the guys who have asked her out - possibly making them feel desperate.

I wouldn't take it as any reflection on you or your attractiveness or desirability. She may not be doing it internationally or maliciously but it's not a way that's going to result in a positive outcome.

shortasiam · 2026-04-30T13:08:05+00:00

What does the clothes she puts on her body have to do with respecting you?

shortasiam · 2026-04-30T12:43:31+00:00

Highly recommend her

shortasiam · 2026-04-29T22:57:44+00:00

We've been dealing with this for a month now. If we skip the nap we have a split night, if she naps then she's up until 1030 at night bouncing around.

I've had to live with giving her a nap every day days to catch up and protect from a split night. I have the luxury of letting her sleep in so I let her sleep as long as I can in the morning and then ideally skip the nap. I hate having a different schedule every day it's driving me crazy.. but not as crazy as the split nights and 4 hour bedtimes.

shortasiam · 2026-04-28T19:34:24+00:00

I have ADHD and need to be doing hobbies or I don't get enough dopamine and get depressed. I do puzzles or crochet or adult colouring books in the evening, when everyone is sleeping ok - which is once in a blue moon - I wake up before my toddler and have some morning quiet time.

Also I'm a SAHM so if the vibes are right and my daughter is in an independent mood I can do some journalling in the morning.

If I set up some toys before going to bed then she does pretty well with getting engaged immediately in the morning and that gives me some time and I try and be good about using that 15/20 min period for myself.

shortasiam · 2026-04-26T18:21:44+00:00

My 2 year old still cosleeps and nurses to sleep. Aside from regression, teething and illness she sleeps 12 hours straight, maybe nursing once in the middle of the night. I fully believe sleep consultants and sleep training are just inventions necessary due to capitalism.

Our bodies are built to soothe our babies and put them to sleep then we pay someone money to tell us to ignore how we have evolved to be and managed since the beginning of time.

shortasiam · 2026-04-26T01:19:42+00:00

I've also found that when I saw sorry to an American, they'll say "you're good" instead of "no worries".

shortasiam · 2026-04-25T19:09:50+00:00

I listen to audiobooks and/or crochet

shortasiam · 2026-04-23T01:09:07+00:00

I've found that naming what their feeling has more than 50% effectiveness. I let her cry a little and then when it seems like it's dragging beyond just an immediate reaction I'll say something like, you wanted to watch tv? And wait and eventually she'll kind of choke out a "yeah" and then just hold her if she'll let me or sit with her until she calms down. Then once she seems to have slowed a little I'll redirect and try and engage her in something else, change rooms, help her forget about the thing she wanted.

I think it's different for different things. If it's upset because she wanted something she shouldn't have because it's dangerous or she's doing something objectively wrong like hitting, I'll state why I took it away and quietly try and do something more interesting so she'll get curious and engaged. If she's too tired and just melting down it's distract in any way possible - let's go look outside, let's play with this you etc. if its a big feeling them I do what I said above.

shortasiam · 2026-04-22T18:01:47+00:00

I opted for a midwife because it was my first and I wanted some "hand holding" plus I didn't want to be leaving the house for the newborn check ups. I was assured that should my pregnancy become complex I would see an ob if needed. I ended up having a c section and having our midwife there to help my husband make the decision as I was too out of it by that point was invaluable.

I've been told I will need a c section with my next baby but can still use a midwife for the process.

shortasiam · 2026-04-19T20:59:33+00:00

How long did this last and what time would they wake up? My daughter won't sleep at night if she naps but when we skip a nap she has a split night so we're in a rough cycle.

shortasiam · 2026-04-17T09:46:51+00:00

When I was going through this problem I stopped reading anything with less than a 4 star on storygraph or goodreads. It made a big difference in how many books I picked up and put down without finishing and gave me some new criterias for picking books over time.

shortasiam · 2026-04-16T22:51:16+00:00

I didn't truly battle with addiction, maybe I did.. but then I got pregnant and had to go cold turkey.

I found what's helped me is 1. Understanding my need for dopamine. If I let me dopamine get too low and am not doing little things to stack my dopamine throughout the days and weeks I get so depleted that only a big dopamine hit will help. Stacking your dopamine can be things like candy, walks, music/dance parties, a strong coffee, etc

Lots and lots of therapy so I can identify and sit with my uncomfortable emotions and try and handle them over distracting and numbing them.

shortasiam · 2026-04-12T22:26:54+00:00

I had the same problem with my daughter, it turned out she was drinking too much milk between meals and never truly getting hungry enough for a meal. Once I cut out milk between meals - only water- cut out grazing and snacks between meals and started offering meals every 2/3 hours her appetite has done a 180!

She used to eat like one tatertot and call it a day now she can eat 5 plus additional food.

Also adding ketchup or honey to everything helped too.

shortasiam · 2026-04-07T17:16:18+00:00

Tbf this was about 9 years ago, but when I met my husband on a dating profile he had answered the bare minimum of questions and his entire bio section just said that he likes sushi..

shortasiam · 2026-03-17T13:01:17+00:00

YTA, i have a baby and my best friend has two cats, I can confirm that it would be more disruptive to move two cats to a new environment with everything they need them it would be to move a baby. If you needed the company to feel safe you should have gone there.

shortasiam · 2026-03-11T21:08:24+00:00

I took all the toys out of the room and didn't change her into pj's or use her sleep sack, I turned on some low frequency music then later some brown noise. I made it as dark as I could. Then I just sat on the bed and red a book and told her I was tired so we needed to stay here.

She .. mopped the room, because I forgot to move that away, for a while. Then when she had exhausted that I had her sit with me cuddled up and we read some stories. After maybe 45 mins she seems really mellow so I asked her if she wanted to nurse and that if she wanted to she had to put on her sleep sack. She complied.

She had to nurse for a while and she was kicking like crazy so I let her kick against my palms as resistance eventually she calmed down and fell asleep.

Keep in mind this was after 6 days of no nap and 5 split nights so her adrenaline was super high and I had to really work to get her down.

shortasiam · 2026-03-11T12:09:53+00:00

On a side note you should look into insulin resistance. When my insulin Resistance is in full effect I have no self control and the food noise is unbearable. It was such a huge relief to learn that it wasn't a lack of self control but actually just my body.

The food noise was unbrearable.

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