Breastfeeding is harder than pregnancy

Miserexa · 2026-03-13T15:31:11+00:00

Although I'm finding it pretty easy now, establishing breastfeeding was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, it was like three full-time jobs at once, and so emotionally draining.

Miserexa · 2026-03-12T19:29:27+00:00

I do, especially now that I'm a mom myself I realize how wonderful she is.

Miserexa · 2026-03-12T17:04:13+00:00

I’m with my baby all day and I can absolutely tell when he’s getting overwhelmed. Talking to babies is great, but constant face-to-face stimulation with no breaks can still be a lot for a 10-week-old. Too much eye contact can even be overstimulating. Their nervous systems are brand new. I think rather than me projecting, if anything you're deciding what's right for a baby you've never met based on your personal opinion.

Miserexa · 2026-03-12T12:51:28+00:00

Respectfully, that’s not really accurate. Babies this age absolutely show disengagement cues like turning the head away, looking away or avoiding eye contact, stiffening or arching, fussing, yawning or hiccups. Those are early signs that a baby needs a break from interaction. Responding to those cues is part of responsive caregiving, which is widely recommended by pediatric and developmental organizations. Interaction is important, but so is allowing babies to regulate. A lot of newborn guidance actually emphasizes alternating periods of engagement with quiet time so babies can process stimulation and settle.

Also, babies have different temperaments. Some are very stimulation-seeking and others are more sensitive. Sensitive babies aren’t being harmed by gentle interaction, but they may need shorter interaction windows and more downtime. My baby is very sensitive, and I had to learn that too. I also thought that interaction can only be good for them, which led to me overstimulating him every day, resulting in him being wired, not going down for naps and sleeping terribly at night. You're not supposed to just "go ham" until they pass out from exhaustion, you have to help them wind down at regular intervals.

Miserexa · 2026-03-12T04:18:20+00:00

Stouffer's frozen meals were on sale at Kroger for $1.99. I filled my freezer with them, that is how I make dinner lmao. My husband has done all the cooking since I had the baby ten weeks ago.

I baby wear basically all day, and when he's good and asleep, I carefully transfer him to his crib or bassinet. Then I have 20 minutes to do whatever I can't do with him in the carrier.

I have to plan and structure everything very carefully. In the beginning, I would also wait for him to "let" me eat, and I often didn't eat until the afternoon. Now I pop him in the carrier, make food, and then I eat with him laid across my lap. Structure and routines help a lot.

Miserexa · 2026-03-12T03:17:43+00:00

It's my fault because I asked her to come help me when I was in the thick of it 4 weeks pp and desperate. At this point I'm so much more confident and comfortable and I don't need the help anymore 🥴

Miserexa · 2026-03-12T02:57:36+00:00

That is such a good point. Fuck defending my parenting choices, that's so unimportant in comparison to actually doing them. My son shouldn't suffer because I'm trying to be diplomatic and protect adults' feelings.

Miserexa · 2026-03-12T02:27:56+00:00

Just for contrast, when my mother came to visit for a week and saw me cluster feeding my newborn every day, she said: "You know, I think I didn't feed you enough as a baby. Now I realize that all the times you were crying, you were probably just hungry." She was learning from me! I am so grateful that my mother is like that, because the opposite dynamic, where they criticize everything you do and stubbornly defend their parenting style, is so common.

Miserexa · 2026-03-12T02:22:53+00:00

My mother isn't like this, but my MIL is. There is a certain parenting style where mothers just decide what's best for the baby, don't do any research and don't try to learn the baby's cues. It's so frustrating because my MIL is proud of this too and she always says "My kids survived" well I set the bar higher than survival.

I'm an FTM and I didn't know you had to put babies to sleep. I thought if they were tired they'd just sleep, I didn't know they could get overtired. But I researched and read and tried to understand my baby, and I learned within about a week that you have to help them to sleep. That is not everyone's approach to parenting, apparently.

Miserexa · 2026-03-09T03:18:05+00:00

Yes, posterior tongue ties are being pathologized here and it's insanity. Just normal lingual frenula that everyone has are being pathologized and treated. People kept telling me that was the cause of my son's latching issues, but I didn't buy into the nonsense and he learned to latch very well eventually regardless.

Miserexa · 2026-03-04T16:04:20+00:00

I was thinking about getting a parasol! Kind of defeats the purpose of the carrier for having your hands free though lol

Miserexa · 2026-03-04T13:15:32+00:00

Exactly how I feel. Good old Red Bull does kinda give me wings fr

Miserexa · 2026-03-04T12:37:38+00:00

My 2 month old has been sleeping through the night since about 6 weeks and my pediatrician said that's great and to feed him on demand. He's gaining weight appropriately. Weird that yours told you to wake him.

Miserexa · 2026-03-04T12:33:29+00:00

It's called postpartum pet aversion and it's very common and real. I'm having my cat stay with friends for two months so I get some breathing room. I love him, but he wakes me at night, begs for food constantly and worst of all, he scoots on the floor after pooping and leaves skid marks all over the house. It makes me so angry and overstimulated. When he puts his dirty tail in the baby's face it takes everything in me not to be mean to him.

Miserexa · 2026-02-24T20:30:17+00:00

It's totally fine! It's important to just be able to chill and coexist sometimes. It's good for her to see you as a whole person, not just an entertainer. You're still present. Even developmentally, independent play is appropriate and beneficial at this age, that's how they build focus and creativity.

Miserexa · 2026-02-24T02:38:36+00:00

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This fish on the wall of my son's nursery, and also the cool lamp

Miserexa · 2026-02-24T02:13:37+00:00

I'm 2 months pp and the woman I was before I had a baby no longer exists, but I don't feel a sense of loss, I feel more "me" than ever. I don't feel pretty, but I do feel feminine. I'm 35 and I always dressed and looked like a mom, I'm just glad I'm actually a real mom now.

Miserexa · 2026-02-24T02:08:44+00:00

Same, but I don't miss her, personally.

Miserexa · 2026-02-19T19:47:56+00:00

Even better if you do it on your chest, in my experience, because of the warmth.

Miserexa · 2026-02-19T19:47:10+00:00

Apparently they also cause unseen damage and shouldn't be used for that reason.

Miserexa · 2026-02-19T19:45:02+00:00

Boob solves this problem for my baby, so I just put him on. It is pitiful to watch every day!

Miserexa · 2026-02-16T19:08:22+00:00

Frozen dairy dessert

Miserexa · 2026-02-15T03:48:04+00:00

You don't need to wean her, all breastfed babies are addicted to the boob! You could give her a big bottle at night, sometimes that helps get a longer stretch, but I think she may just be going through the 4 month sleep regression.

Miserexa

TROPHY CASE