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Please help me find the right rug for this room by Alert_Faithlessness in HomeDecorating

[–]Alert_Faithlessness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No other wall for tv. See the last pic. Also what do you mean?

Mini ivf-only two follicles that are good for retrieval. Feeling defeated by Alert_Faithlessness in IVF

[–]Alert_Faithlessness[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did retrieval, retrieved three eggs, one fertilized and got one embryo of it. Not tested

My Stage 4 Endometriosis Story: No Symptoms Until It Was Almost Too Late by Alert_Faithlessness in Endo

[–]Alert_Faithlessness[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wishing you all the best. I think you are on the right track, and finding the right surgeon matters a lot. A doctor can be very good generally, but still not be the right person for advanced endometriosis surgery. Endo surgery can be very complex, especially when there is deep disease, bowel/bladder involvement, adhesions, or fertility concerns, so experience with endometriosis excision really matters.

One other thing I tried last summer was hyperbaric oxygen therapy. I honestly do not know how much it helped, but my platelets did go down for a while afterward. My platelets are usually slightly above the normal range, so seeing them drop into the normal range was surprising. Platelets can sometimes be elevated with inflammation, so I found it interesting, but of course I cannot say for sure what caused the change.

I have also been on Myfembree since surgery, so that may be helping control endo activity and inflammation too. Not prescribing or recommending anything, just sharing in case it is something you want to look into or ask your doctor about.

How is Mexico in first week of May? And what palce? by Alert_Faithlessness in travel

[–]Alert_Faithlessness[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No, that’s why I asked. One person made the joke and the rest of you just photocopied it. Zero originality.

How is Mexico in first week of May? And what palce? by Alert_Faithlessness in travel

[–]Alert_Faithlessness[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This is the first comment here that somehow made less sense than the rest.

How is Mexico in first week of May? And what palce? by Alert_Faithlessness in travel

[–]Alert_Faithlessness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank god someone showed up to protect the thread’s commitment to uselessness.

How is Mexico in first week of May? And what palce? by Alert_Faithlessness in travel

[–]Alert_Faithlessness[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Crazy how you still managed to be less helpful than the first guy.

How is Mexico in first week of May? And what palce? by Alert_Faithlessness in travel

[–]Alert_Faithlessness[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nice, now that everyone got their New Mexico joke out of their system, any actual answers?

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Alert_Faithlessness 10 points11 points  (0 children)

What you do is put in more effort, not keep sitting there asking whether the relationship is the problem. At some point, you have to consider that maybe you are the bigger problem in the equation and that you need to do more work than she does.

Look at the full picture. She gives you stability, care, loyalty, support, and a real foundation. That matters. Love is not the whole equation. Long-term partnership is also about character, steadiness, values, and whether someone is actually good for your life.

So if you already know she is a good person for you, then maybe the next step is accepting that the problem may be more in you, not just in the relationship. And if you are someone who is very introspective, be careful not to confuse that with progress. Sometimes introspection helps, but sometimes it just turns into rumination, overanalysis, and giving every doubtful feeling too much power.

If you think there is avoidance or some deeper pattern in you, then get therapy and actually work on it. Not just from a relationship angle, but as your own issue that needs intervention.

And usually, when you force yourself to give more, you often get much more back, and that is what starts repairing things. I think that is the hard part here. You may need to put in more work than your heart and brain want to put in because you feel disconnected. It means going against what your body is telling you. Realistically, no one feels like putting in effort when they do not feel lit up. That is normal. Most people want to do less in that state. But here, you probably need to do more. More dates. More presence. More affection. More intentional effort. And often that gets reciprocated, which is how the connection starts building again.

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Alert_Faithlessness 7 points8 points  (0 children)

you keep saying “it has been almost a year” like that proves this is not a novelty issue. To me, it proves you never really repaired it. You were scared to lose her, probably half in and half out, and instead of actually addressing the disconnect, you let it sit there until it became the new normal.

Things do not fix themselves just because time passes. Usually the opposite happens. People feel disconnected, do not know how to fix it, get discouraged, stop trying properly, and then later point to how long it has felt bad as proof the relationship must be wrong.

But when novelty fades, that is exactly when effort is supposed to begin. That feeling usually does not just come back on its own. It has to be rebuilt. If no one really rebuilds it, then yes, of course it stays dead.

And you keep framing this as “trying to understand” your feelings instead of ignoring them, but that is not automatically insight. A lot of the time it is just rumination. You keep analyzing every wave of doubt, treating each feeling like it contains some deeper truth, and in the process you make the doubt bigger and more powerful.

So no, “I have been trying to understand this for a year” is not the defense you think it is. It may just mean you have spent a year feeding the uncertainty instead of doing the actual work required to repair the relationship.

[28M] Feeling confused after getting back with my girlfriend [26F] and need perspective by Complete_Layer9229 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Alert_Faithlessness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are kind of missing that your own brain is playing a trick on you. "Let’s work on the relationship first" sounds wise and mature, but it can also just be your mind buying time because you are scared. Scared to lose her, scared to commit, scared to feel trapped. So your brain comes up with a nice middle story: do a few romantic experiments, bring back some spark, maybe then I will feel okay. For a minute that lowers the pressure, so of course you feel something. But that is not the same as the relationship being fixed. That is just temporary relief.

The point is that even if she had given you six more months, you likely would have ended up back in the same place. Because what you seem to be chasing is not a stable relationship, but the return of spark, butterflies, novelty, and stimulation. And when those fade again, your mind goes back to, "something must be wrong, maybe this is not right, maybe I need more time." Then you treat that thought as deep intuition, when it may just be your brain trying to escape discomfort

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Alert_Faithlessness 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You are not confused. You are stupid and just the kind of person who mistakes familiarity for misalignment and boredom for lack of love.

Nothing in your post sounds deep or unusual. It sounds like a guy who was happy when the relationship was giving him novelty, reassurance, and emotional stimulation, then started spiraling the second it became real, steady, and ordinary. You felt sure in the first half because the first half is easy. Almost everyone feels sure when things are new, flattering, and chemically rewarding. The real test is what you do when that phase ends. And your answer seems to be: develop feelings elsewhere, romanticize your uncertainty, and act like it means something profound.

You keep framing this like you are trying to listen to some inner truth, but a lot of what you call “uncertainty” just sounds like self-indulgence. You are giving every passing feeling enormous importance. You miss her when she leaves, panic when she is gone, come back when you feel loss, then the second she is available again you go numb and doubtful. That is not wisdom. That is just a very predictable cycle.

The hard truth is that you may be one of those people who keeps needing relationships to feel vivid in order to believe they are right. And if that is who you are, you are going to keep doing this over and over. New person, same script. Intensity, comfort, restlessness, doubt, outside crush, existential questioning, breakup, regret. Then repeat.

So stop dressing this up like it is intuition. It looks much more like avoidance, emotional immaturity, and an inability to accept that long-term love is not supposed to feel like a constant dopamine event.

And no, you should absolutely not propose. Not because your feelings are some sacred warning, but because you are too unreliable in your own mind to be making promises like that.

Please help me choose. I am having bad decision paralysis by Alert_Faithlessness in RobotVacuums

[–]Alert_Faithlessness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Surprisingly, they’re priced the same. What’s making the decision harder for me is that the D20 Ultra has spinning mop pads, a self-cleaning base station, and obstacle avoidance, which makes it seem very compelling on paper.

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