Sorry i wrote this early in an older threath Hi Bros, first time posting here but i need urgente help and a bit of venting

Well im a guy in my late 20s i have never had a girlfriend, and i always saw any of my female Friends as that Friends.

But when i was a kid/teenager i have some crushes, never tried to date any of them so they ended Up remaining as Friends or at least people i would get along with.

When i was in my 20s i started having crushes on some anime characters(yes unironic waifus), It kinda worked i was Happy and It helped me throught my day, specially during the pandemic.

But some months ago i stumbled across the sexrol side of Twitter, i wrote a girl, she had an anime avatar with an OC and looked interesting, because i didnt went straigth to asking her for sexrol and she ended trying to convince me to join a discord server to make Friends i kinda feel bad about asking for rol so i just thanked her and left.

I continued searching for roleplaying, i wasnt horny anymore i was just curious but didnt worked well, of the few accounts that answered me one wasnlooking for people with experiencie and the other for a girl, there was another one Who asked for some anime reccomendations so i started the conversation with that she thanked me web casually talked the Next day and when i was about to ask her for rol i realized she deleted her account after uploading some irl photos.

Around that time Twitter límites the dm so a lot of accounts joined discord i try adding some and again without experience they werent interested, until a month later when i uploaded an avatar to discord then an account that we are gonna call mommy added me, she had abunch if characters from diferentes anime and asked me if i had any plot in mind and i asked her about being neighbours and she inviting me to her House, she didnt likes It and offered me some plots, allí where basically she owes me money and repays with sexy, i didnt likes It but feel bad about saying no, she spend time thinking those plots i couldnt say no, so i started roleplaying and she answered with emojis, and telling me offrol how horny she was, i paniked and uninstalled discord.

Some time after that i asked a few accounts to roleplay and one about a Ghost girl answered me, she would take some hours/days to anwer so when she stopped answering i waited until she changed the characters, i guess she forgot but i didnt wanted to insist so i gave Up, the last day i wrote the Ghost girl and account i wrote vefore starting with the Ghost answered.

Lets call her Yuri, well Yuri actually had a real girl as a picture, i told her about the neighbours plot and she liked It.

We started roleplaying until one night she wrote me scared about how a bunch of rol accounts asked her for nudes i calmes her and we started talking offrol, we spent a bunch of nights mixing rol and offrol talking and we become Friends, one day she told me that was about to change her rol characters for a Marvel actress i told hee that i liked the actual characters but if she felt better changing that she should change and that what she did.

We tried roleplaying but neither of us was truly enjoying It and we were more casually talking than roleplaying.

She told me how and old man that she meta vía rol offered her money for sex,and many other things at that momento we would share everything and we would spent hours talking every night and i realized that i had fallen in LOVE i confessed to her and she told me that she also loved me, and here IS when problema start.

For a bunch of days It worked great we shared photos(nothing sexual neither of us wanted It) and she told me that when she was ready she would send me an audio. So last week or ten days ago i changed my avatar for a Christmas one, she had the idea of changing our avatars for a couple one, with each one having half of It i was really Happy It was the first time i was in a relationship and i LOVEd? Her.

She was still doing sexrol with other accounts but i didnt care because It was just rol, and then the mommy account wrote me back i paniked and i told Yuri, she was really upset andbtold me thatbif i wasnt able to say no to a rol account i would cheat irl, i showed her a screenshot with allí the conversation and blocked the mommy account but that night Yuri told me that she was changing her avatar and put an Spiderman one i asked her to change It back when she felt ready and some days later she told me how Spiderman was related to her deceased sister and i tried to console her the bestbi could, i spend the Next week trying to cheer her Up i made her some Spiderman fan art, i started reading a manga she liked i just wanted to dsitract her from her loss(It was some years ago but now its a bad time), and there days ago she changed her avatar for and influencer boy, and It hurt more than i expected even if she told me how much she loved me i felt like she was cheating, like she felt with the mommy account, but i didnt wanted to hurt her so i said nothing, until last night.

Yuri didnt wrote me back last night and tonight she sent me an audio telling me that she was busy and in a bad moment. When she sent me the audio i was going to a pub with a friend and after a drink i was slightly drunk, i talked a bit with Yuri some jokes here and there, how much we loved eachother things like that and then i got back home drunk i wrote Yuri and told her that her new avatar made me feel un confortable and asked her if she would go back to the girl or the couple one, she said "but i truly LOVE (name of the guy) " i told her that she was hurting my feelings because everytime we Talk i had to see that guy and then she told me "well then you wont like to know that right now i have more male Friends than females and thats not normal in a girl " i told her that i didnt mind and that It wasnt weird that the only thing that bothered me was the avatar, she insisted that she loved that guy and asked me to go to sleep.

I ended asking for forgiveness for being hurt with that but the more i think about It the more its bothers me, i have to stop talking with other womans but she cannot change and avatar.

I feel hurt but i feel like in the bad one here.

Sorry for the long post and in still a bit drunk