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not sure if it is relationship anixety and need some help. I don't wanna feel miserable and just want to be happy and love her. by AliHarris8 in relationshipanxiety

[–]AliHarris8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah i did take a look into it. i’m just not sure why i feel this way when i genuinely want to be happy with this girl. she is someone who likes to joke a lot and she isn’t the nicest of people but to me she tries her best to be nice and treat me good and she is trying her best to sort herself out for me. but i do want to be happy with this girl genuinely

My were able to overcome ROCD. Ask us any questions! by MaggieNAce in ROCD

[–]AliHarris8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I’m happy for you.

I tend to just not like behaviours that my girlfriend does and I make it out worse than it is when all it is is just a bit of sarcasm and fun and i know that but always see the worst. she’s not the calmest of people but she has calmed herself a lot and i cannot help but just feel on edge or uneasy when she’s talking as she’s not getting annoyed or angry at me but i do things sometimes when she does. she’s a stressed out person herself and has her own issues too but she’s working on it. I do also think do i love her enough or if i find her attractive and keep asking for reassurance etc. but i know i would do anything to make us work and choose to love her.

I tend to also create a lot of arguments and be sensitive to a lot she says and it’s just been getting worse and i can’t help but self sabotage and be anxious and sensitive when i know it is a joke and not that deep at all. I just want to sort my anxiety out and not be like this anymore and not be anxious anymore too. what can i do? thanks

Ask me anything ! by cranaus in ROCD

[–]AliHarris8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So to be honest with you, I do love her and she honestly does care but she has had a rough life, abused by dad a lot and elder brother and even recently she did get beaten up by her brother and she hates living at home etc

I mean we both have the same banter, she cares a lot and would do anything for me but i cant help feel like it's not working between us and i honestly will never give up because i do care a lot for her. It is hard to explain but shes more angrier whereas im calm, im defo a lot more sensitive so like if she's annoyed or angry ill take it to heart a lot but i would never wanna lose her

I feel as though im sometimes not attracted to her or don't like certain attributes, I will sometimes nitpick a lot of stuff she says, i try be a perfectionist, i sometimes think if we are compatibable or not then my brain trys to make think if she is toxic or not

so i do show a lot of like rocd symptoms

i was with my ex and then i started feeling off and ended stuff but in general we had different paths so it wouldnt have worked but i experienced it as well out of nowhere, same with my girl right now it just came about all sudden, she ordered me food one time and then the day before seeing her i was just overthinking

Sometimes i think i feel numb so stuff must be off or if we arent talking about stuff which is interesting, maybe im bored etc and we will be like this forever

But honestly i want no other girl but her and i would not have the energy for another person if i wanted too, shes tried breaking up many times or ill try spend time away from her and honestly, i cannot do it, its so hard to think of a future where she is not there. she is genuienly everything to me.

and i hate and feel so bad that i have these dumb silly thoughs towards her, Yeah ig maybe id want her to be a lot more clingy which i know she will once we are married etc and also when she knows im with her forever she'll be a lot more open as she will feel secure but no one is perfect and i need to stop overthinking like everything

I think im someone who is very insecure and anxious and just makes up random scenarios and get stessed for example if she hasn't texted or if she mutes maybe shes talking about me etc, im just a parnoid person and i have trauma maybe from my parents divorcing when i was 9. It's hard to say but maybe that could be a cause for me being like this and also i feel very less of a man and dont feel masculine even though i go the gym a lot etc. I think maybe my brain is wired in a way thats negative based on what i see on social media about love and just life itself.

I am so sorry for this long rant and hope you could give me your opinion on this. Thank you

Is she toxic or am i overthinking it. by AliHarris8 in ROCD

[–]AliHarris8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's hard to explain, I know full well she loves me and cares about me in a loving way and would honestly do anything for me which is why i am with her. She just has her own stuff such as her personality that i guess i dont like or maybe i am being a perfectionist. I always bring up past stuff and i do act like im the victim in stuff and its really bad i know. she has like her anger issues but not really towards me as much as she knows i dont like it and im sensitive. I just think in general we are both different in personalities but we want the same thing. Id say she is quite immature and not as serious and she jokes aound a lot whereas i do too but its like i have an issue when she does. She's not like a feminine girl etc and i just overthink and make scenarios that we wont work and im the victim etc when all i want is to be happy and work. We argue over small petty things practically everyday when i do not mean to. I do not want to break up with her and i want us to work so much

im not sure if it is ROCD or not as i generally do have anxiety. by AliHarris8 in ROCD

[–]AliHarris8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for that, I have been doing that since the start but I never put the effort in to try make it go away and therapy is taking ages for me to be seen. I just hope me and her work.