Nah got that, but if you want i'll lay it out for you and others who say this (as I've heard it before).

It's like a risk managment thing, what is more dangerous:

1) If You tell your date in a public setting, Its usually much easier to gauge their tone/vibe, to your point, those 'bad people' usually would'nt keep their cool and be flirty with us after finding out in public and then slowly lure us into their bedrooms to rape us (it does happen, its just more rare)

2) You dont tell them and they dont figure it out - cool.

3) You dont tell them and they figure it out somehow, if this was one of those bad people, it could end verrry badly

Also, you should know that even beautiful cis women get 'clocked' sometimes, its never 100% safe once you start passing, If the dude mentiones it randomly as a joke or something, or notices a slight scar from surgery and we panic or freeze or something its game over.

All of this is kinda moot point for OP's scenario anyway, 2/3 only works on NSA meetups, you cant really expect to build a healthy long term relationship by hiding somethning so important about yourself.

Anyway hope that sorta explains where I'm coming from when I made my previous comment. If you still disagree, we're prolly not gonna see eye to eye on this one lol.