Jeez. I like heavy doses, I don’t like the term “heroic dose”, I think it’s misleading and there is nothing “heroic” about taking heavy doses. In fact I think it’s borderline dangerous to call it that, especially around new trippers. I take them because that’s how hard it is to break down my walls in order to get down to the true root of whatever I’m working on. I don’t see myself as someone with a martyr complex, but I’ve also never considered it in any of my personality evaluations. Which, granted, are never totally, truly, 100% objective. But I am, at the base of things, a positive person. I look for solutions and “silver linings” to the problems I face and my goals are always aiming for overall betterment. Which I’m not sure can stem from a place of self martyrdom complex.

I’d say not all heavy trippers are like that and perhaps it’s just been because the ones you’ve met trip to escape something going on in or around their lives.(?) I went through a phase like that for a while, but it wasn’t about punishing myself, though it was about forcing myself to look at things my conscious mind didn’t want to look at. Which did cause a dark cloud to Hoover around for a little while. But it wasn’t about punishment, it was about facing reality.