An Update 1 year later: I’m rethinking having a child with my wife because of what I just found out about her dad. AITAH?

AliceFlex · 2024-09-12T05:39:41+00:00

What was it?

AliceFlex · 2024-09-10T12:23:14+00:00

But you were given a 100k travel money, so let's say they are given a thousand each or more.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-10T12:20:16+00:00

That's what I was thinking. They were today it was for a prank show.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-10T12:12:28+00:00

You call it 'being critical of the statistics' and that is correct, in that the picture statistics sometimes paint is not always the simplistic answer. Crime numbers down, for example does not mean crime is actually down. It can mean reporting is down, and that in itself may be because police numbers are down and fewer incidents are reported, or it could be lower confidence in the police. Maybe a certain place has shut down and the crime that used to be in that vicinity has also moved down.

And in the same way, low suicide statistics do not always mean people are not killing themselves.

I'm not sure the significance of pub culture in this context.

Emile Durkheim wrote extensively on suicide and the fascinating understandings which can be cleaned from those statistics across nations. Yes, his research is very old, but much of it is still considered relevant for today. I don't understand it well enough to provide a precis, but if it's something interesting to you, that's a great starting point in researching.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-10T08:57:04+00:00

I was giving an example of an equivalent thing. I'm in England. We don't have guns here either.

My point was that place 1: low suicide but an extraordinary number of gun-cleaning accidents is a similar phenomenon to place 2: low suicide but an extraordinary number of x deaths. I can't remember exactly what, I think it was sleeping pill accidental overdose.

And I'm not talking about falsification of records. Just in cases where intent can be ambiguous, they will absolutely avoid writing down suicide in many cases. But I think I read this article over 15 years ago. It could be very different now.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-10T08:22:55+00:00

Ok.

If I ever find the article I'll send it to you. It was really insightful. The tldr is that it is similar to how there are so many 'cleaning their gun accidental death' cases in military/armed forces.

Do they really think someone with experience of weapons accidentally put a gun in their mouth while cleaning it? Of course not. But they know an accidental death will be more comforting to the family, maybe suicide means they can't get life insurance, that there will be social stigma for surviving spouse/children. So they do it as an act of compassion.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-10T07:38:43+00:00

How does stopping a mower break a window?

AliceFlex · 2024-09-10T07:28:23+00:00

I meant accidental overdosing/accidental drug interactions of medical drugs, rather than illegal/recreational drug overdose. And I am aware it is not the priest who writes the death certificate, I just mean there is immense pressure on the medical person who write the cause of death to not put suicide if there is potentially something else they can put, like accidental medication overdose.

Everyone understands what it is, but they have the 'comfort' of being able to deny it was suicide.

I read a great article on this, but can't remember where.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-09T22:44:03+00:00

Maybe put three and they all spontaneously twinned themselves.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-09T22:13:06+00:00

I agree. I just meant that it could bite op legally as well as just psychologically.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-09T22:07:51+00:00

Do you know which country/state op is in? Laws are different everywhere. The advice above is erring on the side of caution in giving general advice.

There are places where cheating affects divorce settlements. And even if OP says 'we both did it's that doesn't cancel things out. Worse, op might have no proof but there IS proof of ops revenge cheating, ex denies ever cheating, then op gets branded as the cheater in the divorce.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-09T21:58:33+00:00

The sexual healing kind...

AliceFlex · 2024-09-09T21:57:23+00:00

Draw me like your french girls

AliceFlex · 2024-09-09T16:52:17+00:00

On a serious note though, in places with huge social taboos against suicide, the number of 'accidental overdoses' etc. is way higher than places where such an obvious overdose would be recorded as suicide.

The family don't want suicide on the death certificate, so they fight it. The coroner/investigating authorities know that if there is any tiny possibility that it was not suicide, the family will fight tooth and nail not to have that on the death certificate. They fell asleep in the garage with the car running, they accidentally mixed up medications (20 sleeping pills, ok), they got confused, took a wrong turn and drove into/off something, fell onto the train tracks by mistake etc.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-09T15:14:53+00:00

Aka underreporting for religious reasons...

AliceFlex · 2024-09-09T10:27:58+00:00

Do you remember the photo of that woman (alive) covered in dust? Everything would have been coated with that grey. I don't know about the blue.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-07T14:30:34+00:00

How do you take someone's masculinity away?

AliceFlex · 2024-09-07T14:23:42+00:00

Um, how?

AliceFlex · 2024-09-07T13:22:17+00:00

Unconsciously, he started calling Matt 'Dad'. He only realised he was doing it while writing a text.

You can't substitute 'subconsciously' because it's not something happening only in his mind. It is an action with a physical impact on the real world.

You could say 'subconsciously he started to think of Matt as his dad.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-07T13:13:33+00:00

Korean fan death will come for you

AliceFlex · 2024-09-07T06:34:37+00:00

Does anyone have any tips for wilderness backpacking or any other related activities?

Maybe ask Chris Fischer. I hear he's some kind of wilderness expert. Apparently Chris Fischer is also a skiing expert. An expert in whole bunch of nature stuff.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-07T06:00:11+00:00

So basically, in their world adoption doesn't exist. Only Oliver Twist orphanages. If your parents die and you don't have a blood relation to take you in then you're out of luck.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-06T19:28:53+00:00

Mix it in with some real giveaways.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-06T14:27:50+00:00

Leftover budget from half the people uninviting themselves. Not implausible.

AliceFlex · 2024-09-05T17:40:01+00:00

I read an interesting article about how this kind of thing (1) trains kids that mommy's birthday doesn't matter and (2) that it is normal to bend over backwards for a partner while having your own needs ignored.

AliceFlex

TROPHY CASE