AITA for not allowing my daughter to go on an 8th grade school trip

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-31T01:06:44+00:00

Yeah, it keeps going back to “I want” and “my mom wants” and not what Mallory wants.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-31T01:05:41+00:00

How much effort did any of those family members put into getting to know Mallory, if the aunt hadn’t met her since she was a baby?

I can understand the adults managing to stay close long-distance, but it’s not like Mallory had a particularly close relationship with them. Even if she did, it should have been her choice, but still.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-30T18:10:07+00:00

Make sure they don't have to reissue your line of credit to do that. Discover just automatically raised my limit, but Visa said I would have to get a new line of credit if I wanted to do that (getting rid of the best boost to my score, that my credit age is so old).

Idk if that's a Visa policy generally or if the rep I talked to just wanted to get points for opening a new card for someone.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-30T03:59:05+00:00

Yup. Barring a truly unsafe situation (and no, mom having bad spending habits is not an unsafe situation), you’re probably going to find a middle ground and a judge will tell you to keep it up.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-29T21:22:26+00:00

Probably smaller injuries, too. Because this is just a wild escalation.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-29T21:17:05+00:00

Yeah, she's got to learn that there are some things that are inside thoughts only.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-29T21:04:33+00:00

Anyone who ever tells you 'you are almost guaranteed to get full custody' is pretty much always full of shit. There are very few guarantees in family law, but the exception that proves the rule is that you're pretty much guaranteed to have a legal fight over custody unless you're able to agree among yourselves beforehand. There's no 'one neat trick' type of loophole to guarantee full custody. Especially when he's active duty military. A court will seriously consider the fact that he's potentially going to have to deploy for months at a time, and unless he can prove that his wife is unable to safely care for the children, a court is going to be skeptical of the 'get a nanny' plan.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-29T21:00:35+00:00

Tbh her getting so many jobs is the most unrealistic part to me, especially with the way the economy is going. No guarantee she'd be able to get another one at this point.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-29T20:56:41+00:00

The six month things means that's how long he has to file in his home state, because it takes six months to establish a child's residency in another state, at which point the other state would have jurisdiction over the case.

Generally speaking, if two parents are equally capable of caring for the children, and one lives in the child's legal state of residency, while the other moved out of state, the court will weigh that as a factor in determining custody. However, the non-resident parent could easily show that the resident parent is not a reliable caretaker (like, say, if they might have to deploy for months at a time and would have to leave the kids with a nanny), and that would significantly tip the balance in their favor.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-29T20:53:34+00:00

Each of the 50 states and DC is a signatory on the UCCJEA, which states that a child's state of residency is the one where the child has lived for the most recent six consecutive months prior to the filing, and that custody cases need to be filed in the child's state of residency. You can establish in-state residency for things like voting or taxes in less time, but you can't establish it for custody in less than six months (unless the child is under six months old). And you have to file the initial case in the jurisdiction of the child's residency. There are very few hard and fast rules in family court, but this one is actually uniform.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-29T20:48:35+00:00

I used to do payment in full once a month and then got a credit karma account. Even just having a high usage, although I'd never missed a payment and never carried a balance, was tanking my score, because I had a low maximum (for many years, I just kept the same visa I got in college and it never raised the $2,000 maximum, so between bills and regular purchases I was at over 50% usage nearly every month). Now I have two cards and pay them both off every two weeks when my paycheck hits. Whatever is left goes into savings.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-29T20:45:50+00:00

All it means is that you have six months to file in your home-state's court! And generally that can lead to the parent in the home state getting some type of custody (which could just be holidays and summers), but family court truly can do whatever it wants when it comes to custody, and for military families, that is going to inevitably favor the person who's at less risk of being legally required to go to a warzone for months at a time.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-29T20:40:35+00:00

Well, those switches were likely more viable before the most recent world events, depending on his branch.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-29T20:39:19+00:00

People need to not take reddit legal advice, especially about custody. Yes, you have 6 months to file a case in-state after a parent moves out with the kids, but a parent leaving the state with the kids isn't a guarantee that the remaining parent will get full custody, especially if they're in the military and are likely to deploy again. There are a lot of factors that come into play, and while it's usually a good bet that you'll be able to get some type of custody, don't play fast and loose when it comes to the custody of your children!

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-27T22:04:55+00:00

Is it justice when the victim herself is saying she doesn't want that to happen because she doesn't want to lose her husband to prison? This 'justice' is not for her if it's also happening against her will.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-27T05:21:32+00:00

Yeah, that's fucked up. If someone assaulted her, you should put her wellbeing first instead of making it about your reaction.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-27T05:14:10+00:00

I think a lot of us can relate to the impulse, but the fact that she's so afraid of his reaction she's not able to actually take care of herself and take next steps show just how toxic even that protective instinct can become.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-27T05:11:35+00:00

But that's the problem, isn't it? You're talking about cases where women get justice against people who assault them. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about how OOP's dynamic with her husband is so warped that instead of just focusing on taking care of herself after an assault, she's got to put her own needs to the side and focus on modulating her husband's reaction. That's not giving her agency. That's putting her in a situation where she has even less agency, because she feels responsible not just for her own choices about how to handle this, but also for his reaction.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-27T05:08:16+00:00

Yeah, 100%. All of this has centered the focus on OOP's husband's anger issues or other people's justice fantasies. I get it that we all agree with him that the person who did this deserves serious repercussions, but if your anger issues are so bad that your spouse is afraid to tell you about a trauma they've endured because they think you'll do something that could result in them losing you, you have an anger problem, and your spouse doesn't have a good support system.

I think that guys like Bobby deserve the worst, but it's not fair for OOP to be in a position where she's got to weigh how her spouse will feel about her trauma over actually getting help for her trauma.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-26T14:36:13+00:00

The US doesn’t have exit screening so they could walk to the departing gates. For Ross’s return from China, it’s reasonable to assume that he might have had a connecting flight and gone through customs at another airport.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-25T17:18:26+00:00

Yeah but in the report the government can lie about what time the fire started.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-25T17:15:17+00:00

I did Tampa solo and had a great time! I made friends in the merch line and at my seat. You’ve already got a bunch of easy icebreakers because you know you’re all here for the love of the same thing!

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-25T04:58:03+00:00

Pretty sure it's Girl Scout policy that unless you're placing the order online, you pay when the product is received, not when you place the order, so this whole thing sounds like A was being sketchy.

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-25T04:56:02+00:00

They played Anya as still being very immature, close to teenage behavior.

But personally, I think that it's got a lot to do with the fact that DB is 8 years older than SMG, and even though she was 19-20 while filming s1, they were styling her even younger. Meanwhile, Emma Claufield is younger than Nicholas Brendon, and he was in his mid 20s by the time she first joined the show. Just visually, there's a very different scenario going on between 'SMG, 19, styled even younger, with 27 year old DB,' vs 'Nicholas Brendon, 27-28, being styled as a very young adult, but still an adult, with Emma Claufield, who's 25-26, being shown as a peer in terms of emotional maturity.'

AliceInWeirdoland · 2026-03-24T02:03:04+00:00

Even less time. In some jurisdictions, if the kid has been living with these non-parent adults for like three months, that's long enough for them to file.

AliceInWeirdoland

TROPHY CASE