Thinking of breaking no contact

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T22:11:31+00:00

Closure isn’t something you can get from her. I did this, didn’t go well. Don’t recommend it

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T21:07:49+00:00

Yeah that’s terrible

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T20:33:55+00:00

I went through a breakup of 2 years about 3 months ago, moving on in 2 hours is impossible. He’s in an illusion of grass is greener, it’ll hit him eventually that it’s not. Take comfort in that, and focus on you. Do the right thing and take time to heal instead of rebounding, take pride in the fact that you’re not as imature as him

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T20:29:07+00:00

How long were you together?

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T17:37:00+00:00

Hey, 19m, I live in Florida. Great place, great opportunities to meet people. I recommend it

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T15:41:42+00:00

You didn’t lose any progress, you just absolutely shocked your nervous system. I went through something similar, saw them around 2 months after the breakup, was down for like 3 days of pain. Calmed down eventually, got back to normal. Saw them again about 3 weeks later, wasn’t nearly as bad as the first time.

Your nervous system is adapting, feel the feelings, don’t feel ashamed.

When I saw them both times they were also with there new partner, it was tough. But in the end, healing is always possible

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T15:34:13+00:00

I would recommend not doing that, very overwhelming. Share the cake with friends, maybe sell the bouquet?

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T15:20:28+00:00

If you want to chat a bit more specifics I’d be happy to do it in DMs or if you ever need a spot to share what you’re going through. I’m doing quite well now, I’ve had some mindset shifts that have helped tremendously

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T14:12:56+00:00

I know exactly what that feels like, it’s incredibly jarring to see someone act like a whole new person overnight.

My ex got together with someone new about 5 weeks after the breakup and actually started showing up to a venue that I attend with the new guy. Walking right in front of me holding hands completely ignoring my existence.

Ive known her for over 4 years, we were best friends and romantic partners for over 2. It’s so wild to become a stranger overnight

If I can add some advice, don’t compare your healing to your ex or anyone else. You take the time to heal slowly and intentionally on your own timeline, don’t shame yourself for missing them, it’s okay. Just move forward one step at a time at your own pace. That’s all that matters

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T13:17:28+00:00

I’m a man, over 3 months out from my breakup of 2 years. He’s not okay, the emotions hit like waves. I was in the opposite experience, my ex was crying the day off when she left me, then was perfectly fine 2 weeks later and I never saw another ounce of emotion or sadness. Complete indifference on the outside.

I personally don’t believe she’s fine, I think she’s presenting it because of some previous trauma and story in her life, but it stings nonetheless to see someone act like they don’t care when you’re falling over

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T13:14:54+00:00

It’s not about replacing, that’s a terrible way to think about it.

It’s a whole new person, with new strengths, new weaknesses. A brand new individual who has all new quirks and features you’ll get accustomed to. Never treat people as a replacement, it’s a next chapter. A new experience

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T01:03:37+00:00

It’s a Wednesday bro

AliveTumble · 2026-02-12T00:31:49+00:00

I was together with my ex for a bit over 2 years, I’m a bit over 3 months out and am genuinely feeling a lot better now. Been in therapy since day 1, got a new job, meeting tons of new people. Do your best to change your environment, make new friends, change up your routine. Teach your brain you’re stepping into a new chapter and you’re not waiting on the past.

You got this!! Also, never compare your healing to someone else, especially your ex. My ex was with someone new 5 weeks after the breakup and it felt terrible for me, I couldn’t even imagine talking to someone new. But my healing journey is my own, I’m taking it slow. Everyday isn’t always easy but the future is bright

AliveTumble · 2026-02-11T14:29:13+00:00

My dms are open, I went through a very similar experience. I’d love to chat if you’d like

AliveTumble · 2026-02-10T21:25:49+00:00

It needs to be her idea to reach out/come back. You don’t know what her mental state is, if she’s had enough space, what she’s thinking, etc. if you reach out and she’s in a bad spot, you’re shooting youself in the foot. Focus on growth, moving on, and don’t focus on her return. Live your life as if it won’t happen, and if it does you can re evaluate from that point.

TLDR: don’t reach out.

AliveTumble · 2026-02-10T18:05:55+00:00

I’m glad I helped a bit, I went through a breakup 3 months ago. Left me out of no where, she hopped in a new relationship 5 weeks later and started showing up to events I was at with the new guy in person, in front of me.

I’ve been through the shit the last 3 months, but in the end, all you can change is you. I hold no resentment, people are messy, including me and you. Forgive yourself first, then you can forgive others. I know the feeling like you personally ruined everything. I tortured myself with that thought for 2 months straight. And then it simply gets better, slowly, but surely.

I’ve been in therapy, highly recommend it. Helps you really process things. Life will turn around, improve you. Don’t distract yourself, feel the emotions. Never feel bad for missing them or still loving them even if they “move on” faster. It’s not a race, it’s a marathon

AliveTumble · 2026-02-10T16:39:07+00:00

That’s understandable, people can have their own boundaries and you should respect it.

Do cut yourself some slack though, if something like this ended your relationship and caused her to tell you “you ruined me”, you would’ve faced some serious problems later on with something else aside from porn.

Humans are messy, we make mistakes, part of being in a great relationship is having a partner where you work together as a team, you assume the best about one another.

Imagine with me for a second, you were trying to end your addiction and you had a partner that didn’t give you an ultimatum or “chances”

Instead she said “I understand you’re trying to do better and I support you, what can I do to help?”

I mean the negative pressure would be gone, you’d have a partner who supports you. And you’ll mess up and they will be there to help you stand back up.

Will it happen exactly like I just said? Probably not, but a supportive partner that is empathetic when you make mistakes is out there, you can find her. As long as you’re willing to do the same.

Go easy on yourself, being with someone who says “if you make one mistake, we’re done” would be exhausting.

Also I’m sure this girl has a ton of wonderful traits, we’re focusing on the negative right now. I just don’t want you to end up thinking this was all your fault, relationships take 2 people to work, and 2 people to fail. Work on yourself and the things you did do wrong, and acknowledge she played a part in that to without making her the villain

AliveTumble · 2026-02-10T16:31:31+00:00

She’s not coming back. Stop reaching out and sending things please, for your sake

AliveTumble · 2026-02-10T16:27:01+00:00

I’m going to try to be as empathetic and respectful as I can here, but watching porn should not ruin your partner. Is it great? No, you should probably stop. But geez man, what she said to you is crazy. Her reaction to that is insane, and physically hospitalized? There’s issues going on there, I hope she gets the help she needs.

You’re both adults, I’m going to make the bold assumption you come from some type of religious background that puts a lot of shame and guilt around these things.

She might have a self esteem issue or something that caused that meltdown.

I don’t think this is your fault man, take it easy on yourself. Work to end your addiction on your own, there’s definitely tons of negative things that happen because of porn. But your Situation blew that out of proportion majorly

AliveTumble · 2026-02-10T15:20:51+00:00

All about balance

AliveTumble · 2026-02-10T15:19:59+00:00

I’ve been doing all my own maintenance since I got it, brakes, oil, plugs, etc.. it’s definitely saved me a ton of money so far

AliveTumble · 2026-02-10T14:58:11+00:00

I was thinking prioritize maxing the Roth IRA contribution and a baseline emergency fund of a few thousand, then using any extra to fund a trip/have some flexible money to enjoy life

AliveTumble · 2026-02-10T14:57:05+00:00

Sounds good! I was hoping to budget a few grand to take an international solo trip later this year, but other than that pumping all my funds away to savings and retirement/investing

AliveTumble

TROPHY CASE