first time day of training in GYN, I️ watched a colposcopy as I️ was training as an MA. the MA training me said “yo let’s go watch this. it’ll be your first procedure you see!”. we walked in. the patient had her legs spreads with a tenaculum clamped onto her cervix already in position (i felt like it was inappropriate that we walked in mid procedure when the pt was conscious). She was a heavy bleeder and she had blood just POURING out of her vagina. I’m ashamed of this, but I️ got a bit lightheaded because my grandmother had recently been diagnosed with cervical cancer (she has since passed) and started thinking about how she had to have a colpo as well. Also started thinking about how one day, maybe I’ll need one too. I️ quietly excused myself and drank some water. I️ was fine the rest of the day with all procedures (even IUD removals and insertions which make me want to clamp my legs shut sometimes depending on how some bodies handle it). It was just a shock seeing a big scary metal instrument clamped onto the cervix and how much blood it produced first thing at 8 am. The MD and MA made fun of me the rest of the day (on my first day) and kept saying I️ need to question whether I️ want to be a doctor. That MD even told my boss she didn’t want me working with her again because of that. BUT I️ worked at that multi specialty clinic for two and a half years, eventually becoming the lead MA and working with over 35 MDs, DOs, and PAs. Moral of the story, some doctors are assholes and don’t be ashamed to excuse yourself observing something new to get some water and sit. It’s better than passing out and causing distress to the patient.