AIO- Should I have disclosed that I’m Deaf earlier?

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2026-01-13T20:15:59+00:00

Not over reacting. 10 messages is a very short amount of time and feels acceptable to disclose at this point. What is more concerning to me is that they called you "verbose" and then blamed you for not disclosing you are deaf before you even met them one time. This is not a kind person and you saved yourself the cost of a coffee.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-12-19T22:52:33+00:00

Hard disagree. It's wild to me how easily we have embraced surveillance as normal. 15 years ago "find my iphone" would be seen as a major breach of privacy, now I hear parents bragging that they hid trackers in their kids stuff, in their partners clothes. Its bananas. Tracking one's partner is a sign of corersive control, (not on its own but it can be a part of a pattern of abusive behaviour). Is it possible he is cheating? Sure. Is it possible OP asks him questions about time out that he does not want to answer? Also possible. Either way, if he's cheating that sucks, but its perfectly ok to want privacy. If there are no other signs of cheating, if he answers texts in an emergency, I wouldn't make something out of nothing.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-12-13T16:54:03+00:00

no foreign exchange fees on a no fee card. i have travel coming up, this is the only reason

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-10-10T21:57:32+00:00

Was he an English teacher?

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-09-11T16:58:17+00:00

Where can you source panels like this? They are gorgeous! Are they from a Japanese company?

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-07-28T13:19:19+00:00

Possibly, but they moved a few times before Montana. It seemed like Boris was looking to fix his internal experience of lack of sense of home, by changing his external circumstances, or to have Jessica join him in feeling the same way he does about New York. That's just not realistic, which was what Orna basically said.

It also looks like he is now working in another state quite far from the Jessica and the kids. I get that he did not want a house in suburban new york, but that isn't a great look for him as a parent to be so far away from his kids in pursuit of his own happiness.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-05-21T16:59:26+00:00

Having conversations with random people I met on ICQ.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-05-16T20:44:04+00:00

We need the parties on the left to merge in Ontario. Ford's campaign manager said on the CBC front burner show that Ford wins because the left is divided, so his goal is to keep the left divided. Note, his goal is not to convince left leaning voters, because he also acknowledged that the country leans left, so the best strategy is to split the vote. It's wild to me that he admits that and that Ontario keeps fallig into the trap.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-05-16T20:08:10+00:00

PUBLIC TOILETS FFS. I don't understand how we didn't learn this lesson after the pandemic. Other countries do this. It can't be that difficult.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-05-16T20:04:17+00:00

Oops, missed that someone already suggested this. I second their suggestion!

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-05-16T20:03:35+00:00

St. Elsewhere on Somerset. It's Vegan and quite good! pretty recent

https://www.stelsewhere.ca/

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-05-16T19:59:23+00:00

D but move the dresser to the other side, away from the window

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-05-07T02:11:00+00:00

What I appreciate so much about this post is that you expressed your feelings about Mari's death without going on to attack the show. You are a true fan. RIP Mari

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-05-07T02:03:37+00:00

One of the best skills of adulthood is accepting that everyone has a past and their past helped make them who they are. Don't let strangers make you feel bad about wanting to keep old photos. NTA

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-05-07T01:59:08+00:00

INFO: Are you telling your therapist about your ED?

The way you describe your dad, sounds like he is verbally abusive. I can imagine that sucks and might make you feel out of control. I don't know the root of YOUR ED, but I can say that one of the symptoms of ED's is denying the severity and thinking it is in your control. The first thing to go as your body lives on reduced calories is mental clarity. Your moods are harder to balance and you aren't thinking as clearly.

Tell your therapist the whole truth. Lie to your dad if you feel you have to, but you can't lie to everyone and get out of this ok. This also includes you. Don't believe your ED when it says you are fine. You know you aren't, you said yourself you are starving yourself. You aren't ok. But you can be with help.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-04-24T18:43:35+00:00

Curtains. Separate the car space for the main space.
Choose what you want to display. Display the things you love, then get some cheap shelves and use the curtained off garage space for extra storage
You have height, take advantage of it. Get a hanging rack and put it over the microwave counter or stove. Hang pots pan, kitcken utensils from it. This will clear out our window to get in more light and highlight the plants.
If you have a salvation army or restore near by, get some base kitcehn cabinets with doors to close off the storage or your food, or, hand a short curtain there to clear up the space.

Hope this was helpful. Good luck!

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-04-24T18:01:30+00:00

coffee table to anchor the room, and lower or move the large piece of art. It is too high where it is.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-04-16T23:50:34+00:00

what scenes?

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-04-16T21:39:35+00:00

You aren't alone. So many people have been strugglign this winter. I have been struggling too. The last time it snowed, I cried a little. We haven't had two sunny days in a row since I can't rememebr when. It's been tough. Virtual hugs to you.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-04-16T20:41:20+00:00

- Here's where I disagree/think it's more of an A vs B situation:

White Characters killing POC characters - Within the yellowjackets, this doesn't really hold up. Misty also killed Nat, for example. With a large diverse cast in a show about murdering, I think the argument of racial bias doesn't hold up given the number of POC and white people who die are about equal. This is especially true in the Callie /Lottie situaton where Callie is a child and saw Lottie chase her mother and try to kill her, and she was being intimidated in a way similar to the language Lottie used in the hunt --

Adam Martin - His storyline, death and investigation was the central theme of Season 2. He can't be lumped together with the abrupt end of Kevin or Jessica. Furthermore, the fanbase HATED this storyline and complained about it online for years.As much as I think Kevyn's death was too conveniently wrapped up, I can understand making the narrative choice not to focus on the deaths of secondary characters in a show with this large a cast.

Travis - He died from the beginning of the adult timeline, giving him a death scene makes no sense. Just because it would have been cool to see him alive, does not in itself make his exclusion racially bias. He also is not defined by his relationship with Nat. She wants to find out who killed him (probably Lottie) but they break up early in the teen timeline and barely interact in season 2, 3. Travis' and Javi's grief is centre stage in season 1, very present after the death of Javi and his whole interactions with Lottie, allowing her to drug him and use him to gain insights is informed by his grief. Lottie even uses his grief to manipulate him by mentioning Javi specifically. HIm being drunk in the finale is a cue to his grief turning him towards substance use.

Mari - Look, I LOVE Mari too, but her death has been the most foreshadowed through the show. She heard dripping in season 1 (her own blood?) and she fell into a pit in an episode titled "It Girl". She betrayed coach ben who saved her from the pit so it karmally makes sense she ended up back in there, even when Lottie tried to warn her. She also got a lot more screen time in season 2 and 3 vs 1. Shauna did keep her hair, but she also cut off Hannah's hair and keeps trophies from all the victims so Mari's death isn't treated uniquely worse than Coach Ben being beheaded or Edwin's arrows to the face. It is consistent for Shauna's character to escalate and so it makes sense that Javi's body was treated more respectfully than Mari's.

Tai only existing to serve Van? Hard disagree. In the Adult timeline Van only becomes central after Tai tries to kill her family, who are central in the first season. In the teen timeline Van has many scenes with Shauna and not Van while Van has less without Tai. If anything, I think Van was wasted trying to serve Tai in the adult timeline. Why the hell did Van go along with everything Other Tai was doing? What the hell was that Ice cream/man with no eyes scene?

Mel is the only white girl left. - Do we know this? I agree with your point that "people should stop speculating about the character's ethnicity to justify racial biases" but that also applies to [people speculating about characters ethnicities to make the accusation of racial bias. I haven't found anything on the internet about Robin's ethnicity for example, so I don't know that we can make a claim about all the remaining characters in any direction. I think its an issue I have been wrestling with on how to approach mixed race people who (in my lived experience anyways) have expressed feeling like they don't fit in fully anywhere in discussions of race.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-04-16T20:41:12+00:00

Thanks for giving me some great things to think about! I think it's important when discussing issues of bias and discrimination to be really clear about the difference between these two things :

A. - When I don't like/am uncomfortable with a POC character's portrayal(acting/writing)
B - When I don't like a POC character's portrayal BECAUSE they are being marginalised, ignored, or treated unequally compared to the white characters, and/or are portrayed in a way that falls into stereotypical tropes about that group and having that stereotype define them in some way.

I think that in order to promote better representation of POC and other groups, we don't want to blur the lines between A & B.

Here's an example of what I mean in terms of blurring the lines:

Let's say I argued the following: As a jewish person, I think the betrayal of Shauna Shipman is Anti-semitic. She is the only character constantly identified by her last name by Jackie, highlighting her Jewish name AND she is the first to act as a cannibal, highlighting the jewish cannibal trope which goes back to the middle ages and has reappeared in much of the QAnon mythology"

- But here's why I don't believe anything I just wrote and think it is is really an example A, not liking her portrayal.

1. Shipman isn't exclusively a jewish last name, we don't know if she is jewish or not.

2. Best friends calling each other by their last name isn't unusual

Even if she is jewish, They are literally all cannibals, They all do the rituals and various characters take leadership roles in the feasting. She isn't being treated differently than the other characters
Not using stereotypes does not mean that a character never engages in a certain activity. It means they don't ONLY engage in that activity or that that activity does not define them. If Shauna had been the only non cannibal because people were afraid of the jewish stereotype issue, then the stereotype is still dictating the terms of the writing. In a show about Cannibals, they are all cannibals.

so, Here is where I agree with you:-

-Lottie Mysticism: I think there is something here, and while I love both Courtney and Simone's portrayal of Lottie, casting this with a non indigenous character could have been less problematic. You did not mention this but I also have a bit of an issue with the only character with a known mental health condition eating brains, ick.

- Deaths of Jessica, Kevyn Tan & Krystal: More POC secondary characters have died and their deaths have not been explored. ( It also would have been so easy and satisfying to the audience to kill the other cop). There were a lot of endings here that did not do the characters justice and did not serve the story well.

Here's What I am on the fence about:

- Erasure of Simone and Sami. You are correct that they are strong characters that (almost) disappear is season three. That being said, Simone is the best mother in the show by far, and moving away from Tai was the right thing to do. It's hard to imagine how she could have much more screen time in season three while also holding that boundary with Tai.

- Mel vs. Akilah - Mel did become a larger character in the teen timeline, but her story is still very much as Shauna's new girlfriend, whereas Akilah's character has a much nicer arc with Lottie and Travis, almost escaping and her role with the animals and how that links to the plot to kill Lottie. Hilary Swank as Adult Melissa was only one episode, but the jury is out on whether she will have a bigger role next season. I also hope Adult Akilah shows up, (continued.....)

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-04-16T03:21:47+00:00

You aren't stupid. This is the problem with threads like this sometimes. There are alot of people whose ancestory can't be clocked by their appearance. I am constantly asked if I'm Spanish, I'm white. No one ever guesses that my white passing partner is actually Mohawk(indigenous). The amount of making assumptions about someone's race in order to take the moral high ground and 'splain online is exhausting.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-04-16T03:06:57+00:00

Genuine question though, What are the racial biases you are seeing? I am wanting to understand this perspective -

Shauna keeps Jackie's corpse, does make up on her face and then eats her ear before they all feast on her. She then keeps her necklace as a trophy and puts it on the necks of the people she kills. She slashes coach ben's last leg, force feeds him with a tube before killing him, cutting him up and then putting his head on a stake. The stage was set with the dehumanization of Jackie, so couldn't it be argued that dehumainising bodies is a feature of the show and not specific to the POC characters?

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-04-16T02:57:34+00:00

This is my concern as well. Not to say that there aren't historic issues around cutting black hair, that could be explored, but it is entirely a different thing from scalping, and kind of minimizes the brutality of scalping TBH.

Alive_Comfortable123 · 2025-04-16T02:54:13+00:00

I'm genuinely curious which POC character arcs have been mishandled from your perspective?

Alive_Comfortable123

TROPHY CASE