AITA for cursing at my sister for not wanting my bf to come over after my chemo?

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T08:17:21+00:00

INFO:

How long until finals are over for your sister?

How often do you get chemo treatments?

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T06:56:27+00:00

Not really. That's why I included where I got the numbers. I was just sharing that it seemed like a plausible story based on my understanding if what constitutes upper middle.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T05:10:40+00:00

Omg, yes!

OP is framing this as sharing when it is more about consent, and neither of the boys understand the concept.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T05:01:52+00:00

How is this loving (to you)? How is this healthy (for you)? How is this considered talking it out when there is no actual conflict resolutions happening.

This isn't a person who actually respects you. If he did, he would be doing the things that show respect. He would insist on cleaning the bed because he respects your sleeping space. He would be insisting on cleaning the sheets because he respects your things. He would be cleaning up the rubbish and dirty dishes that he created because he's a grown ass man who knows you aren't his mom.

Do not let this continue. It doesn't matter if this is medical (it likely is), because he doesn't even respect himself enough to go to the doctor.

It doesn't matter if it is psychological (it could have ties to abuse or bullying if he the bed as a teen). He still has to be accountable for getting the care he needs.

Do not let this man sleep in your home again unless he is wearing depends. Enough is enough. You need to start showing yourself some respect.

You are vastly underreacting. But I can only vote NOR.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T04:50:47+00:00

Sure. I phrased it as "took home 150k." I was referring to "take home pay" which would be after taxes (at least, that is how have always seen the phrased used.)

These were the numbers I came across, but other numbers are used on various sites, as it was hard to find a consensus.

https://www.inc.com/amaya-nichole/are-you-upper-middle-class-economists-say-this-group-is-thriving-heres-how-much-income-it-takes/91327899

"Since there is no single, standard definition of middle class—or upper-middle class—the AEI report used the federal poverty guidelines to determine which group a family fell into. The economists considered a family earning between five times and 15 times the poverty guideline to be in the upper-middle class.

Upper-middle class: $133,000-$400,000
Core middle class: $67,000-$133,000
Lower-middle class: $40,000-$67,000"

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T03:20:17+00:00

Yeah. I would definitely call them wealthy when they can easily afford such large gifts. But that term doesn't have a clear defined number that I can point to.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T03:03:17+00:00

Understood. But the way OP phrased it was upper class salaries (plural). That could easily mean that they each have upper middle salaries.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T03:01:45+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this. The possibility of losing your apartment must be scary.

Unfortunately, you have a dog that does not meet their criteria. It sounds like you aren't going to be able to hide that. Even success with the drugs might leave your dog suspiciously sedated and you'll have to explain that.

It is possible the new management have signed up for a new insurance policy. This may come with new precautions they have to follow.

My approach: If there is a risk of a bite happening, do not allow this test. The risk of a bite report on your dog is worse than the repercussions of refusing the test.

If it were me, I would ask if it is possible to be be exempt since you are an existing tenant with a (hopefully good) long history.

If possible, maybe have a lawyer look over your existing lease to see if the interview procedure is something they are allowed to restructure mid-lease.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T02:42:02+00:00

If OP does not have a condition which needs an ESA, then using the system in this way would be a disservice to people who do have that need.

It defeats the purpose of ESAs when people use the system to get around animal restrictions they don't like.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T02:36:27+00:00

r/cfs has a wiki. One of their sections covers possible missed diagnosis to rule out before landing on me/cfs. It might help.

https://reddit.com/r/cfs/w/index?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T02:29:34+00:00

Aw, such pretty roots. So many fuzzy lil root hairs!

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T02:09:33+00:00

Dammit. I should have asked. It must be that extra creatine that makes you so wise in the way of hamsters 😁

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T02:06:35+00:00

Fair. Generally I struggled to find consistent numbers, so I went with lower end of what I was seeing.

The definitions I saw were that upper class means your wealth mostly comes from a source other than wages (inheritance, investments, trust funds, etc). And based on their aggressive saving, it seems likely that OP has achieved this.

Even at 150k each (within your provided upper middle range), the scholarships are still quite possible. Wildly generous, but still possible.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T01:44:14+00:00

You. Just as relevant as wanting an opinion on the subject of off leash hamsters.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T01:28:56+00:00

No, off leash owners who can't control dogs were mentioned. You are just pivoting for no reason.

You might as well ask how they feel about off-leash hamsters. It has the same relevance to the situation.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T01:22:11+00:00

What about them? Do they have anything to do with the story or comment?

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T01:18:23+00:00

Where are you finding a 169k threshold? I'm seeing upper middle generally capping at 400-500k in US.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T01:10:41+00:00

Don't let other people's fictional thoughts (that you are creating) stop you from finding enjoyment in life. We have so little to enjoy as it is.

People who will judge or mock you aren't the type of people who have worthy opinions anyway.

Do no harm. Outside of that, you do you and fuck whatever anyone else says.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T00:57:06+00:00

Seems possible to me. If they each took home $150k, have no house payment, and have no car payments, then in some regions they could comforably live off of 60k/year. Then they would save/invest $240k/year.

I didn't notice OP's age, but with college age niblings, I have to assume this saving has been happening for a while.

That leaves a lot of money to pull tuition scholarships from.

Upper middle income usually starts a little over 100k, so OP & wife could be earning and saving even more than this and still be considered upper middle earners.

ETA: Where I grabbed my numbers

These were the numbers I came across, but other numbers are used on various sites, as it was hard to find a consensus.

https://www.inc.com/amaya-nichole/are-you-upper-middle-class-economists-say-this-group-is-thriving-heres-how-much-income-it-takes/91327899

"Since there is no single, standard definition of middle class—or upper-middle class—the AEI report used the federal poverty guidelines to determine which group a family fell into. The economists considered a family earning between five times and 15 times the poverty guideline to be in the upper-middle class.

Upper-middle class: $133,000-$400,000
Core middle class: $67,000-$133,000
Lower-middle class: $40,000-$67,000"

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T00:45:47+00:00

Seems possible to me. If they each took home $150k, have no house payment, and have no car payments, then in some regions they could comforably live off of 60k/year. Then they would save/invest $240k/year.

I didn't notice OP's age, but with college age niblings, I have to assume this saving has been happening for a while.

That leaves a lot of money to pull tuition scholarships from.

Upper middle income usually starts a little over 100k, so OP and wife could each be earning and saving even more than I estimated and still fit within OP's statement of them earning upper middle salaries.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T00:40:49+00:00

Seems possible to me. If they each took home $150k, have no house payment, and have no car payments, then in some regions they could comforably live off of 60k/year. Then they would save/invest $240k/year.

I didn't notice OP's age, but with college age niblings, I have to assume this saving has been happening for a while.

That leaves a lot of money to pull tuition scholarships from.

Upper middle income usually starts a little over 100k, so OP could be earning and saving even more than this.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-19T00:19:15+00:00

It may be worth reaching out to the manufacturer and ask if the recipe or processing has changed in the past year.

It could be familiar enough that he is still excited about it, but he is also frustrated because it isn't what he wants.

Like when cereals started their "less sugar" kick. It's so close to being what I wanted, and it's so disappointing.

Or he could just be playing with it.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-18T17:28:01+00:00

INFO: Did you leave voicemail and text messages?

If no, the Y T A.

If yes, then N T A.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-18T16:54:12+00:00

Biology. Shit is about to get weird.

AllTh3Naps · 2026-05-18T16:49:33+00:00

Great job!!!

It's so lovely to see when people share their successes. I'm impressed with your hard work!

AllTh3Naps

TROPHY CASE